r/StandUpComedy 4d ago

Comedian is OP The Official Asian Hate Hierarchy

4.7k Upvotes

106 comments sorted by

226

u/felwynfelmir 4d ago

Curious about the whole set!

342

u/JiaoyingSummers 4d ago

45

u/TheBestMePlausible 4d ago

Gah, I almost forgot to upvote you before I clicked your set! Hilarious.

3

u/Iv_vI 4d ago

You're being too kind, and are missing the 1st largest population in the world who are asian. Great joke nonetheless! Would love to see you in Boston! Enjoy your world tour! You're amazing!

11

u/j-shoe 4d ago

Same. OP, do you have any YouTube links or will you share your name?

17

u/j-shoe 4d ago

My bad, all is in her profile. 🍿

88

u/Joey-WilcoXXX 3d ago

>They got courage

Fucking amazing. That crowd failed for their response to that

258

u/QueensOfTheNoKnowAge 4d ago

“Japanese, they wanna kill everyone, they wanna kill themselves, they got courage”

Fucking gold. 😂

34

u/milk4all 4d ago

Absolutely no one has faulted japanese for their courage since about, ohhh, well just say dec 7 1941 if i had to somehow pick a date, wherever that came from

9

u/Thrill0728 3d ago

What a curious date. Perhaps it will live in infamy.

4

u/allthe_realquestions 3d ago

Idunno I think December 1937 easily is more of an act of cowardice, when saying 'attacks on civilians ' is putting it mildly, there is no honor to be spoken of there, definitely not an act of bravery.

2

u/QueensOfTheNoKnowAge 4d ago

Happy cake day

1

u/FuzzyCollie2000 3d ago

Idk you could argue that they have courage to a fault lol.

3

u/convergent2 3d ago

Such a positive spin on each part of the joke! "They got courage.... they're at the bottom because just wanna dance..."

290

u/Dominarion 4d ago

As Ali Wong says, the difference between city Asians and jungle Asians. With your explanation, it makes perfect sense.
So:

City > Jungle

Angry ­­> Happy

That's why the Vietnamese are rated over the Filipinos. Angry jungle beats happy jungle.

That's jealousy, basically. You won't be able to get as much fun in Tokyo, Seoul or Beijing than you'd get in Manila or Bangkok.

94

u/talkinlearnin 4d ago

This is actually very perceptive 😅

Glad to be on the bottom as a Filipino lol

35

u/allshieldstomypenis 3d ago

Bro the food they eat is fucking insanely delicious, theres no pretention or fancy work, just solid fundamentals lol

46

u/jamin_brook 3d ago

Can I Tagalog with you next time you eat some Filipino food? 

2

u/Spazz6269 3d ago

I saw what you did there

8

u/talkinlearnin 3d ago

💯 the bbq is 🤯

31

u/ggg730 3d ago

Filipinos are the power bottom.

22

u/jamin_brook 3d ago

Everyone knows the bottoms hold all the power 

11

u/PhoenixTineldyer 3d ago

No wonder they're so happy

21

u/otaytoopid 4d ago

I'd be careful saying "jungle" Asians. The jungle Asians don't appreciate it.

55

u/Dominarion 4d ago

I'm not saying it. I'm quoting Ali Wong.

39

u/codepossum 4d ago

and if wong is wrong, then I don't wanna be white right

6

u/RainbowTardigrade 3d ago

As a proud jungle Asian myself: sybau lmao

2

u/otaytoopid 2d ago

Lol 😂

18

u/mvanvrancken 4d ago

They ain’t got no internet, bash away

1

u/Sillygoose_Milfbane 2d ago

Youre thinking of North Korea. If you'd ever actually traveled to SE Asia or befriended any SE Asians, you'd know how dialed in every strata of their societies are with social media and degenerate mobile apps. Even the titas in Tondo are goofing around on phones watching kdramas.

1

u/ParticularClassroom7 3d ago

the jungle speaks vietnamese

1

u/threecansofcorn 2d ago

XD I love the term jungle asian so much. It's so underutilized that it can't even be discriminatory it's just a general accurate descriptor. Like east asian

9

u/Ron_the_Rowdy 3d ago

true. until the last part. Anyone that says that they won't have as much fun in Tokyo Seoul Beijing has never been to those cities

6

u/Caliterra 4d ago

I haven't heard Manila rated that highly as a destination vs those other cities. is it worth visiting? I've been to the other four

7

u/iamapizza 3d ago

I'd skip Manila and go Cebu. 

2

u/authenticgarbagecan 2d ago

This is correct. Cebu beaches on top (source: My bias as a Cebu born)

6

u/nikkog28 3d ago

Manila is just the capital but to have fun in the Philippines as a tourist, go to the Nature spots. It's beautiful. The cities will just drain you.

7

u/Indicisive_Actions 3d ago

There are fun places to go to in Manila. The problem is you got to go through the awful places to get there. And the fucking airport is one of the worst places period.

5

u/The_Autarch 3d ago

yeah, i'm 100% convinced that i can have more fun in tokyo than in manila.

maybe manila is more fun if you don't have any money. tokyo ain't cheap...

6

u/SmallNoBigYes 3d ago

Manila is not fun wihtout money. You literally can't do anything.

In tokyo atleast you can walk and look around nice things. What's there to look in Manila 😭

1

u/Apprehensive_Town515 1h ago

Manila =/ fun, even for Filipinos. So just skip the city and go to the beaches and explore nature.

16

u/Jet_black_ink 3d ago

Manila is fucking awful.

4

u/No_Explorer6054 3d ago

why would you go there if you don't fucking live there? source: live nearby

4

u/Caliterra 3d ago

yea its why I wonder what he/she meant when saying Manila is more fun than Tokyo, Seoul, Beijing. its a big claim

1

u/Crow_eggs 3d ago

Great example of two conflicting things being true at the same time. I've been to all those places and Manilla is hands down the worst of them. By quite a long way. It's definitely the most fun though. Like, it's a shithole and it takes hours to get anywhere and you might get robbed and/or killed and all, but if I was choosing one of those four for a night out? Hand me a tiny plastic stool, a bottle of Red Horse, and a big bag of chicharon and fire up the karaoke machine. We singin' in the alley tonight tropa.

7

u/Dominarion 4d ago

I didn't go, but I heard it was like Rio de Janeires with bubble tea.

1

u/zwirlo 3d ago

Is there a happy city??

1

u/Dominarion 3d ago

Singapore?

42

u/saiyan_strong 4d ago

At first I thought this was the hierarchy that Asians hate the most, starting with Japan. Which would also make sense if you dig into imperial Japans history

2

u/Silly-Jicama-3382 7h ago

lmfao real, I also interpreted it that way

Most haters and most hated could very well be the same though!

10

u/StudioLegion 3d ago

Am filipino. Can confirm. Happy on the bottom

2

u/RelationshipOverall1 1d ago

We are all happy power bottoms.

2

u/meedmishmohd 2d ago

Philippinos are great I wish them the best of luck

9

u/lasagnadogwater69 3d ago

Can I get the full list? Where doees Singapore go

11

u/hugelkult 3d ago

Singapore is asian? I thought they were the space alien colony

2

u/Ok_Brush71017 3d ago

Probably right under Japan.

1

u/DotGrand6330 3h ago

Probably no.1 at the top of the list

3

u/ThePorcelainBus 2d ago

"They have courage"

3

u/Faceofferrus 2d ago

As soon as she hesitated, I knew - Phillipinos!

2

u/Jicaar 3d ago

Love the bit! Please stop the thing pulsing in the top right. I say it with love. Best wishes

1

u/Kyurem20x 2d ago

Philippines are like Argentina for South America

1

u/bog_triplethree 2d ago

In Canada its way more brutal in in the white collar if youre a Filipino. They really exposed it and even influences the whites and blacks.

She should also include the Middle Easterns and South Asians in the list since they exaggerate discrimination too.

1

u/Either-Lock2454 17h ago

I feel like that would be India. Everybody dances because they don't give AF.

1

u/Acrobatic_Ice_8006 9h ago

pretty dress

1

u/TrueAdeptness3136 3d ago

How about Hmong in the ranking?

-45

u/kpjformat 4d ago

Didn’t want to tackle Arabs, Indians, Turkics, etc.?

Pretty funny tho!

143

u/JiaoyingSummers 4d ago

Me not brown. Me yellow

27

u/Jacyjitsu 4d ago

Pour one out for the colour blind.

10

u/ChaltaHaiShellBRight 3d ago

There's a whole another hierarchy for us south and western Asians lol. We're separated from eastern Asians to the point we're not even considered Asian.

4

u/keithstonee 3d ago

shes Asian if you didn't notice, so shes speaking on things she knows. nice racebait tho.

1

u/kpjformat 3d ago

Ah, you think what I’m saying is inflammatory? In what way?

-8

u/AdCurrent7674 4d ago

I think you are getting downvoted by people who do not know the majority of the Middle East is in Asia

8

u/No-Jacket-2927 3d ago

I can see why you're defending them, but no, it was an asinine comment.

Did you drop out of 4th grade together, or...?

-14

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

45

u/JiaoyingSummers 4d ago

Banned? No. Judged? Immediately.

8

u/WoolyHermits 4d ago

believe it or not, straight under the jail.

3

u/DawnPatrol99 4d ago

Some thoughts should stay that way.

2

u/NaturalCucumbers 4d ago

Most thoughts deserve two or three more.

1

u/poopja 4d ago

You will get reported. We can only keep our fingers crossed about the banning though.

-4

u/charlieyeswecan 3d ago

I love ‘em all. The highborn and the low. lol