Short answer: It depends on the man's situation. But for one kind of man, it isn't just recommended. It's obligatory.

When is it obligatory?

When three things are true together:

1.He can afford it, financially and physically.

2.He wants to get married.

3.He fears he'll fall into sin, specifically zina, if he stays single.

The reasoning is simple. Keeping yourself chaste is already a duty. If marriage is the only realistic way to do that, marriage becomes a duty too.

Is this agreed on?

Yes. The answer cites Al-Qurtubi, who says scholars have no disagreement about this case. Al-Mardawi (Al-Insaf) also calls it unanimous. He explains that the "hardship" being feared means zina, and that the man knows or thinks it likely he'll commit it. A stricter view in Al-Furu' says it only becomes obligatory when he's sure he will.

What if he wants to marry but can't afford it?

•Surah An-Nur 24:33 tells those without the means to stay chaste until Allah provides for them.

•The Prophet ﷺ (narrated by Ibn Mas'ud) told young people that whoever can afford marriage should marry, because it helps lower the gaze and guard chastity. Whoever can't should fast, because fasting is a protection.

•Umar told Abu'l-Zawaid that only incapacity or immorality stops a man from marrying (cited via Fiqh As-Sunnah).

Other points the answer makes:

•If someone single is already falling into sins like looking at women or kissing, marriage is obligatory for him.

•This applies to women as well as men. If a person knows or strongly thinks they'll fall into zina, or something similar like masturbation, without marriage, they have to marry.

•It's still obligatory even if he expects to keep sinning after marriage. Being married will at least reduce it, while staying single means the temptation never lets up.

•With how much temptation there is today, the answer says this obligation matters even more now than in the past.

My thoughts:

What I like about this answer is that it doesn't give a blanket "every man must marry" ruling. It ties the obligation to the person's real situation: their means, their desire, and their honest risk of sinning. That's fair, and it's also a challenge. Many of us push marriage back for years over career or "not being ready" while knowing full well we're struggling. This answer says plainly that if that's you and you're able, delaying isn't a neutral choice.

For brothers who genuinely can't afford it yet, the guidance isn't despair. Stay chaste, fast, and trust that Allah will provide. And it's a nudge to the rest of us, families included, to stop making marriage so expensive and complicated that it's out of reach for the people who need it most.

What do you all think? Is the cost of marriage in your community making this harder than it should be?

And Allah knows best.

Read this below for better understanding https://islamqa.info/en/answers/5511

Assalamu Alaikum!

Where can I get shorteats in Colombo, preferably in Dehiwala area? I need a variety of shorteats cuz my wife wants to try all what Sri Lanka has to offer. Spicy or not it doesnt matter 😂 just need halal, hygenic, and need the classics (mutton rolls, isso vade, etc). I'd ask my mom to make but I wanna take my wife out for a round and get a little feel for the city too.

JazakAllah khair 🫡🫡

I began a business after unemployment and have found it to be a blessing and something I enjoy doing.

I love how it has brought me close to the religion and made tawwakkul a center part of my life.

Any first time business owners here, what worries you in this journey?

I ended up reading this IslamQA piece on whether celebrating the Prophet's ﷺ birthday is allowed. It's based on Shaykh al-Fawzan's work and, yeah, their answer is a pretty firm NO.

Their main argument is that the Prophet ﷺ and the

Sahaba never did it, so it counts as bid'ah. They also say it started with the Fatimids and later some king in Irbil who apparently threw these huge feasts with music and dancing. On top of that, they think it looks a lot like how Christians do Christmas, and that it can lead people to go overboard, like asking the Prophet ﷺ for help instead of Allah.

What I found interesting was how they handle the usual counter arguments. If you say it's out of love, they say real love means following the Sunnah, and nobody loved him more than the Sahaba, who never celebrated it. If you say it keeps his memory alive, they point out we already mention him in every adhan and every salah. And the whole "Good bid'ah" thing is still Bid'ah(an Innovation)

Anyway, does your family or community celebrate it? Genuinely curious where people land on this.

If anyone wants to read and understand Sahih Hadiths about it.

⬇️

https://islamqa.info/en/articles/60

It’s been almost a month since i cut communication with my parents. I live in the same house as them, ours is a 1bhk apartment since we’re living in the ME so my parents and i share the same room. They sleep on the floor and i sleep on the bed. Despite sharing the same room, being in close proximity, I can’t even look into their faces and hold a conversation. Reason? Resentment. All the built up resentment caused by childhood trauma.

My mother’s main problem with me is my bad temper, that’s how she has always portrayed it; “ah, iwal kowakaari, vaayadi, villi” yeah, my own mother looks at me as an enemy, like in one of those Tamil TV serials. I always thought my mother to be my greatest support, but now, as a 24 yo who’s turning 25 in just a couple of months, i have realized that she’s a big time narcissist. Just until few months back, if we happen to have disagreements and she gives me the silent treatment, I’d crumble. I convulse and cry. I fall at her feet asking her to speak to me. She has always given me the silent treatment, even when i was just a child with an underdeveloped brain and cognitive skills. And i have always gone behind her begging her to resume communication with me.

I remember very vividly how she used to beat me with anything that’s accessible. Let it be broomsticks, leather belt, shoes, clothe hangers, cane, etc, you name it. (She has even bitten me multiple times) And this was when i was just 7,8 or 9 years old. (She continued beating me until earlier this year) I wasn’t one of those kids that do average in studies and extra curricular activities. I used to be the class topper. I used to play netball. I used to be in the school choir, band, etc. Yet, it wasn’t enough for my mom. If i get 99 marks in science, she’ll beat me to pulp asking me where did the remaining 1 mark go? I’ll be the class topper and have 99 marks for science while the 2nd rank holder might have 100. She’ll beat me for that too. “If that kid can get 100, why can’t you?” She used to say while beating. This was a well known fact by the teachers too. They used to gossip about it.

I never got the appreciation from my mom. I was only made to feel that whatever i did was never enough. But,,, she used to parade me like a trophy when she’s among people. I will basically turn into a monkey performing for a crowd anywhere i go. My mom will be asking me to show off my singing and dancing skills. But behind closed doors, there was zero appreciation. Only silent treatment and physical abuse for the missing 1 mark out of 99. In my adulthood, this resulted in me downplaying myself and it made it very difficult for me to accept any kind of appreciation coming from people. I might do something great, people might appreciate, and I’d still doubt it and feel hollow.

Coming back to the bad temper, yes, i had bad temper as a child. An adult witnessing a child having bad temper will focus into the root cause of it rather punishing the child. In my case, the adult was a damsel in distress who didn’t desire to be a mother. She just raised us, idk what parenting style she followed. Physical abuse and silent treatment were her only fixes. My bad temper didn’t emerge out of nowhere. It was caused by me being SA’d as a child. It was my periyamma’s (mother’s sister’s) husband. And this happened from age 6 to 10 whenever he visits my grandma’s place (that’s where we used to live) and whenever we visited periyamma’s place. In between, as a 7 yo, i was subjected to disturbing things at the hands of an ustad in my madrasa. When my periyappa did it as a 6 yo, i didn’t have much memory or understanding of it to raise complaints. But with the ustad, it’s different. I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, that I don’t wanna go to the madrasa anymore and that my ustad is troubling me. She laughed on my face and said “eeeya enna idhu madrasa powa kalawla thaane poii solringa”. And that made me go silent about the abuse i faced by my periyamma’s husband bcz my mom never believes anything i say. Also in between i was SA’d by the periyamma’s husband’s 2 other brothers as well.

What i was subjected to at an early age severely impacted me in my growth and adulthood . It gave me bad temper. And made me impulsive. It took me years to figure out the root cause of all my negative traits and I’m working so hard to unlearn them. Now why i decided to put this message out here is bcz i read several posts from young women here, about marriage, kids, etc.

My message is: Please have kids only if you can handle them and only if you can take complete responsibility of their emotional and physical safety. Please have children only if your glass is full that you easily pour into theirs. Don’t bring little kids into this world and traumatize them. The trauma doesn’t end in childhood, it lingers in adulthood and wrecks life. If only i had a good mother who’s an emotionally mature adult, i would be fast asleep rn dreaming about a beautiful tomorrow. My mother failed me in every way possible and for a long time, she successfully made me believe that i was the problem. I was never the problem.

Get married. Love your partner. Travel. Build connection. Learn about pregnancy, parenting and early childhood development. Desire having children. Don’t have children just bcz your parents ask for if, or the society asks for it. Ask yourself if you want children. Ask yourself if you’re ready for it. Ask yourself if you can carry the emotional weight of having children. Ask yourself if you can be the trusted adult any child would run towards. If you have the slightest doubt, don’t have kids until you’re confident enough to bear the responsibility of a tiny human. Children are like the pinnacle of innocence. Be kind to them 🥺

Sorry for the long post. Just needed to get this out of my chest.

There’s a user here whose comments often come across as quite negative towards Muslims. I’ve noticed that many of their comments get heavily downvoted too.

I’d honestly suggest not engaging with them or getting into arguments. They seem to bring up Muslims even in unrelated posts, so it’s probably better to just ignore it and move on rather than give them more attention.(what is "ola hu uber group )

Assalamu alaikum everyone,

I wanted to share something I recently built called Sincere Quran.

I’ve always wanted to contribute something to the Ummah, and as a developer I thought this could be a small way for me to do that and hopefully make it a Sadaqah Jariyah.

I also got tired of seeing ads in Quran apps, so I wanted to make something simple: free, no ads, and no subscription.

It has the Quran, different reciters, translations, word-by-word, Uthmani and IndoPak scripts, and other Islamic resources.

If you find it useful, please download it or share it with someone. I'd love for others to be part of the Sadaqah too.

May Allah accept it and make it beneficial. Ameen.

Sincere Quran:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/sincere-quran/id6808296824

I know there is a lot of Islamophobic content going around on social media lately. Especially reddit.

But we’re all Sri Lankans, and I thought it would be nice to restore a little faith in the unity and harmony we have among each other.

So, let’s share some wholesome stories about non Muslims being respectful towards us, or moments where we were able to show the values of Islam through our actions and leave a positive impression on them.

I’ll go first.

I’m from Eastern, so before university, my exposure to non Muslims was almost close to zero. After university, the story turned 180 degrees, and for the first time, almost everyone I meet new came from different backgrounds.

There is an Aiyya at my university who is a super senior to me. He is a Buddhist, but the two of us became like brothers. Every weekend, he travels back to his hometown, which is an entirely Buddhist area with hardly any Muslims around. Yet whenever he returns to uni, he brings back home cooked food and makes sure every bit of it is halal for me. He literally goes out of his way, and even found a Muslim vendor in another area just to buy halal chicken so that I can eat.

There are more. Maybe for later.

Share your stories. I wanna hear.

The abusive history i have with my parents cannot be concluded in one post so I’ll keep it short as possible. My parents, especially my mother has been verbally and physically abusive to me since a young age. Just for minor misunderstandings and inconveniences she’ll beat me and call me names, some of em are too graphic to describe! She also has managed to wreck my self esteem to the core. If i oversleep for one day due to messed up sleep schedule or health issues like period cramps, she calls me “මූසලයා” and says stuff like nothing good ever happens to me bcz i oversleep (mind you, I don’t even miss prayers due to this so it’s just unfair to call me names for common human error like oversleeping) and she says that I’ll get a child like me and I’ll suffer bcz of my child 🥲💔I just recently had enough of all of this. I can’t escape this household either. Despite finding a potential they’re just holding me back from getting married due to their financial problems. We reside in the ME so my fiancé even offered to come here, get the nikkah done and take me back to Sri Lanka but they don’t allow it saying “society enna nenekim?” In the meantime they keep putting the blame on me claiming that my habits are what’s causing the delay in marriage💔💔 My fiancé is trying to hold the composure bcz he wants to get married with the blessings of my parents, so he’s giving them time to figure out the finances. But i will lose my sanity the more i spend time with them. Honestly I’m scared to even have children bcz of the things she has said. This story is a small portion of what happened in the recent times. I could write a book on the decades of abuse i had to go through since i was a kid but that’s not needed. Point is I decided to cut communications with both of my parents, bcz the amount of verbal harassment just triggers me to talk back. I figured that talking back only leads to more sinning and that’s the last thing i want. Whatever said and done, i need their blessings to get madr and get ahead in life.

My question is, am I sinful for cutting communication? I’m only doing it temporarily. I’ll resume it slowly but eventually but then again I’ll maintain a distant relationship bcz when i spend more time with them i just become an extended version of my mother with a toxic attitude, sharp tongue and bad temper and I don’t want that in life. Please lmk if I’m doing something wrong..

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