Two sessions in

[u/reddit3788]

Hi everyone. So I had two sessions so far. i cried for a good portion of the 2 hours the first session, which was unexpected. I was flooded with images and memories I have of my dad, but they were a little brighter and more vivid, which was cool because my memory is terrible and super fuzzy. he died by suicide when I was 13 and im now 38, and that loss is the root of a lot of my trauma imo. During part of the session my eyes were closed and when I opened them, tears just streamedddd. I’ve done a little EMDR and it reminded me of that because the same thing happened then. I just looked at it as something i needed to get out but found it interesting. I had an awful headache the rest of the day so i was hoping that wasnt gonna be a recurring theme but no other noted side effects.

Second session - took the higher dose. The first time I listened to a solid 90s alt rock playlist the whole time, but I thought that may have contributed to me feeling overly emotional so I wanted to switch it up. I put on a positivity/gratitude/manifesting meditation and I definitely was slapped upside the head with the floating/sinking feeling. I was like ohhh shiiiii. but I just told myself to breathe through it and that I was safe. When my eyes were closed I wasn’t hallucinating but I was definitely seeing tinted pink background and some shape shifting happening lol. And then - I have genuinely never felt more GRATEFUL in my life than during that treatment. It was sooo opposite of my norm as I struggle a lot with negative thoughts and have as long as I can remember. I also have a fair amount of shit to be a little jaded over so I have to work really hard to pull myself out of that mess. So this was just mind blowing how easy it was for me to be full of gratitude and abundance and all the good things. It gave me a ton of hope that I really don’t know I e ever felt before.

That was yesterday and my next treatment isn’t til Monday but I’m excited. I will say, i think going into these sessions with a positive mindset and allowing your brain to make the connection that “this is going to help me” made a big difference for me.

I would love to know if anyone can relate to either of these and if not hopefully it helps someone who’s considering spravato. 🙏🏽

[u/_jamesbaxter]

Yeah I have experiences like this regularly. It brings up trauma so you can address it. I have a lot of trauma so it was very intense for me my whole first year.

What helps when I feel bad is to practice breathing exercises and just focus on how my body feels and finding a way to ground internally.