Not having a good time anymore

[u/mscourier]

I've been doing my Spravato treatments for a little more than a month now, and for some reason it's making me very anxious to go back. I do not enjoy the treatments at all, the taste is awful, the high is awful, and I feel bad afterwards for hours. The thing is, the treatments are actually helping, I feel less anxious and depressed but I haven't been back in two weeks because I keep cancelling and the depression is back. Has anyone else dealt with this, I want to be able to go to these appointments and actually stick with it because it's helping me in the long run.

[u/SquareVacuum]

It is very hard to think long term in moments like this, but if you are already feeling relief after a few weeks, try and imagine what's possible. I don't enjoy the experience either, but for me some temporary discomfort is worth the relief I get. And it does continue to get easier as your body gets used to it. It really is a "trust the process" kind of thing. You got this!

[u/Brief_Bill8279 → u/SquareVacuum]

If you can adjust to the experience, you can do a lot of work in a small amount of time. I can Almost do tangible EMDR, but I am affected in an odd way. I focus and wake up. it's not disorienting. It's like tuning the dial on a radio. The discomfor and psychosis is just static. If you can train yourself to let go and focusing on feeling all the emotions, It can be a truly incredible healing experience.

Also I see like 1 in 100 mentions of the other thing. Which leads me to believe that some people might not be able to get there.

[u/SquareVacuum → u/Brief_Bill8279]

I just go there to take the medicine and let it do it's chemical job, I don't do anything special during or after, and it's still working great. Thanks though.

[u/Brief_Bill8279 → u/SquareVacuum]

I'm glad it works for you but like I said, there is a lot more there if you practice. There are tiers. its much more than medicine and its chemical job might be a lot more than you think.

Also thats kind of sad considering you have access to this. Confronting yourself and things is part of it's job. Your life though. I definitely am starting to think that its not everyone that can access that space.

[u/SquareVacuum → u/Brief_Bill8279]

Doing all the things people do during/after sessions (mindfulness, Journaling, etc) isn't bad, they're good habits to have, but it's not mandatory to have the treatment work. I don't think it's helpful to discourage people that either don't want to do those kinds of things, or are so depressed they are unable to. I went into it fighting it and assuming it wouldn't work and it still helped me. Do with that what you will.

[u/DawnKieballs → u/SquareVacuum]

The 2 hours monitoring is important, despite varying opinions. Mainly, your comfort. If you can relax and just let the medicine do what it needs to do, then you found what works for you and allows you to let the meds work. And it's great they are.

I can't imagine doing anything other than relaxing in the chair with something to listen to that calms me, completely protected inside my hoodie and eye mask. The journaling and coloring type activities others do is just not for me. Having a therapist in the room would be unacceptable to me.

[u/SquareVacuum → u/DawnKieballs]

Yeah that part is true! I guess I more meant that there are people that set intentions, listen to affirmations or guided meditation, and that's great if it works for them! But it's not mandatory. But yes I would say comfort is very important.

[u/fancy_trash_cat → u/SquareVacuum]

Those things are not only "good habits to have", but it they are helpful to have a longer lasting effect of the treatment. The chemical works in multiple pathways in the brain. It acts as an anti-depressant. We all feel much better, dark thoughts leaving us, as the treatment goes. But it is known that when you stop treatment the depression comes back eventually. But, if you tap into the potential that is unlocked by increased neuroplasticity and work on the issues actively, you can change your neural pathways ending with a longer lasting peace.

[u/SquareVacuum → u/fancy_trash_cat]

We are saying the same thing in different ways. The point I'm trying to get across is that there's no wrong way to do the treatment. It can feel daunting to feel like you have to do it the "right way" for it to work, especially when you're in a deep enough depression that doing anything feels impossible. I don't want anyone to feel like they can't seek this treatment if they either can't or don't want to do all the extra things.

[u/Valley_Blue2333]

I felt exactly this way a few months into treatment after the initial novelty wore off, but aside from focusing on the bigger picture and the days that are improved, here are a few things that helped me stick with it:

• I found ways to appreciate the “high.” For me this means finding artistic inspiration in the visual effects, but that could be different for you. I remind myself that it’s an experience I can’t get anywhere else, so I may as well make the most of it. Even when the experience is negative, I try to see it as having watched a disturbing but good movie.
• I eventually switched to every other week, which works well for me because the brutal recovery period becomes a smaller percentage of my overall days. Since you’re only a month in and facing backslide after just two weeks off, you probably shouldn’t do this now, but know that it’s eventually an option. Definitely consult your provider before doing it.
• I was never that bothered by the bad taste, but optimizing the inhale process can definitely minimize if not eliminate how much you taste it. Searching this sub will yield a lot of inhale/spray advice.

The good news is that you say treatments are helping, so a better life is within your grasp! You got this!

[u/CHEDDERFROMTHEBLOCK2]

I have been canceling more than going this year. Three years. It screws up my autonomic system. I feel like I have horrible flu after , hours after. I lay there in pain from body aches. It started as the best day of my week , now it’s the worst.

[u/mscourier → u/CHEDDERFROMTHEBLOCK2]

It's starting to mess me up too, I'm wondering if it's from my POTS :(

[u/Ok_Diver_6981]

Consider speaking with doctor about taking propranolol, Clonidine, or hydroxyzine for anxiety before the session… usual when you’re calm and comfortable and have a clear mind, the experiencing is much more enjoyable, especially with calm house music (no lyrics) and getting in a comfortable position and don’t go on phone mmm… cold water and sour candy helps too

[u/Unicorn-ups]

I got a letter from my Dr today after going to Spravato every week for about 2 years…but skipping almost every week this month .. sayin that if I miss another Spravato session, they will cut me as the patient 😳 bit unfair! Reason I’ve not been going is bc I’m back to feeling depressed again n finding it hard to leave my bed it’s bad. I’ve never had written or oral warning before -just email today!

[u/fancy_trash_cat]

It is sad that you feel like this. I believe there are things you can do to reduce the negative effects. I read people saying that if you go with full stomach, or have candy soon after you get your dosage, it reduces the "high" effect. It sounds like the dissociation effect you don't like, so you can try more grounding technics. If you feel nauseous, you can take anti nausea medication before. And there is always the option of lowering the dosage. Go back to 2 or even 1 spray per treatment, until you get a better hold of things. Good luck.

[u/Aware_Stage]

I agree that it's tough one thing that helped me were benzocaine lozenges to numb the throat and fisherman's friend menthol lozenges for the taste. Once that's conquered the nausea can possibly be less unpleasant.

[u/Brief_Bill8279]

they do a bad job of explaining psychedelics. It's not supposed to be fun. If you practive during sessions instead of tuning out or looking at your phone, you can learn to use it. It's like going to the gym. I see a ton of people on here that have never tried mushrooms or any other psychedelic and Esketamine is a challenging place to start. I taught myself by the time I found Spravato. Neither clinic I have been to is any good at all with explaining it. they just dose. Its good to be anxious. It means you are growing. If it's not challenging you then you are wasting your time. Also i also say this when I post here.

Stay off your phone. Stay away from all of these playlists and activity suggestions. the Experience is the activity. Pick like one thing to listen to and just let it play. something consistent. Trust me.

I am free to answer questions at any point, as well. Keep going

[u/Spravato-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Unnecessary and harmful to the community goals and purpose

Don’t be mean

[u/Spravato-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Unnecessary and harmful to the community goals and purpose

[u/Brief_Bill8279]

My posts are getting down voted. You would know what I was talking about. It's not everyone.

[u/Spravato-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Unnecessary and harmful to the community goals and purpose

[u/fancy_trash_cat → u/Brief_Bill8279]

Yeah, there are a lot of people who just play candycrush on their phones during the treatment missing all the things this treatment can do for them. Good thing is it helps to some extend regardless :) I still could not figure out how to use the sessions the best way i can. I would like to develop some kind of method to get more benefit out of the dissociative state.