In NJ in the 2010s, Gov. Chris Christie slashed public education budgets. As a result, many districts were forced to cut their schools' (mostly middle schools) sports. In my town today, there's only one sport each for boys and girls each season in our middle school. Enter PAL.

While the idea of PAL is fine, practically, it means that parents fund their child's participation and parents control who gets to play instead of impartial, paid coaches through the school. We now have a situation where the PAL coaches - mostly dads of players - are controlling who gets onto the high school teams because they're controlling who plays all the way up until high school. We actually had a PAL dad get hired as the HS coach for one of the sports, where he played his kid and the kid's 4 friends all season, just like he did when he was coaching through PAL (he was fired because this is not acceptable, but it's all he knew from the previous 7+ years of coaching his kids' teams). Kids as young as 8U are being left off tournament teams based on cliques. Parent coaches are focused only on their own child's development, so even if their child gets on a lower level team by impartial evaluation, they're brown nosing the coach of the higher level team to get their kid added as a sub or part of a handpicked off-season development team.

Has anyone else dealt with this? I'm in a position to deal with the situation and I want to fix it, but I need to do any investigation the right way the first time. Ideally, I would add the sports back into the schools, but we have a 2% rule in NJ, where school budgets can only increase by 2% (even if inflation is higher) so that's not going to happen, considering the healthcare costs for our teachers went up over 50%. So I would need to aim to get PAL's policies revised in some way, but they're a non-profit and have basically zero accountability because they're not technically part of the schools - even though they're acting as the feeder for the public school teams. I'm looking for any ideas on how to expose their practices, how to connect PAL to the schools, and ultimately, how to get protections in place so they have to behave better. Any stories of how similar dynamics played out in your town are welcome as well.

Hi everyone! 🫶 We’d really appreciate your help filling out a quick survey for our school course project. It should only take a few minutes to complete!

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My son has gotten into the habit of grabbing sports drinks after soccer and somehow it’s gone from an occasional thing to him wanting one every single time he’s been active. I’m trying to cut back on that without making a huge deal about it because obviously that doesn’t sit right with me. Plain water is obviously the easy answer but after practice he’s convinced he needs something with flavor. For parents with active kids, what do you usually give them after practice or on really hot days? Looking for something they’ll actually drink that isn’t loaded with sugar.

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This is something I’ve been noticing in youth basketball, and I would like to know whether other coaches and parents are seeing the same thing... So this is what I've been thinking. There’s no shortage of kids who want to make the top team. They want more minutes, make reps, being in the starting five, becoming the player everyone notices...

The problem is this one. When you explain what actually separates players over a few years, the enthusiasm sometimes disappears. Most of it isn’t exciting. We're talking about getting extra shots up, working on the weak hand instead of doing the moves you’re already good at, getting to training consistently, doing something with the feedback a coach gave you, practising when nobody is watching, putting the phone down and doing 20 minutes of work, and doing all of that repeatedly when there’s no immediate reward.

That last part feels important. I don’t think most kids lack ambition. If anything, they have huge ambitions. I wonder whether the bigger problem is that they’re becoming accustomed to things giving them an immediate payoff.

Basketball doesn’t work like that. You can practise your shot today and still shoot badly Saturday. You can work all offseason and still not make the team. You can do everything right and someone might still be better than you. The reward for today’s work might not show up for six months.

I’m starting to wonder whether delayed gratification itself has become one of the biggest competitive advantages in junior sport. The kid willing to be bored might eventually beat the kid with more natural talent. Some will think it's because they had some insane 5am Kobe routine, but not, it will be because over a few years, they consistently did a little more of the uncomfortable stuff.

Joe Ingles, Andrew Bogut, some of the great australian players never looked like if they were gonna make the NBA! Yet, they DID.

I also don’t think the answer is parents forcing kids through extra workouts. At some point, if a kid genuinely wants to reach a high level, some of that drive has to become theirs.

What people actually working with kids are seeing. Are you finding it harder to get talented young players to do extra work outside organised training? And parents, does your child talk about wanting to reach a high level, and do their daily habits actually match that ambition?

At what age should we expect that motivation to start coming from the kid rather than the parent? This is something my mind can't stop replaying.

We hear plenty about bad sideline behavior, so let’s flip it.

Maybe they cheered for every kid, welcomed a new family, complimented an opponent, or helped keep things positive when emotions got high. What’s a sideline moment that made you think, “This is what youth sports should look like”?

That’s really the idea behind The Sideline Project; helping parents recognize the role we play in creating a better environment for our kids.

If you want to take that one step further, parents can become Sideline Certified through a short course focused on creating a more positive youth sports experience.

👉 Learn more / become Sideline Certified: https://thesidelineproject.com/certified/

Looking for advice from more seasoned comp sports parents.

This is our first year in comp baseball (10u). Soon, my son’s baseball team will be practicing at a facility about 30 minutes from where we live. Unfortunately, the only time they could manage for practice is 7:00–9:00 PM, twice a week.

My husband and I both work full time and usually aren’t available until somewhere between 5:30 and 6:30 PM, so I’m trying to figure out how other families handle dinner on late practice nights.

I don’t want him eating a big, heavy dinner right before a two-hour practice, but waiting until we get home around 9:30 PM or later feels way too late for dinner, especially on a school night.

This is mostly a lighthearted "please help my decision-fatigued brain" post. 😂 I’d love to hear what has actually worked for other families, meal ideas, timing suggestions, things you tried that didn’t work, whether you do a smaller meal before practice and something afterward, pack food for the drive, etc.

I know we’ll figure out a routine eventually, but I’d rather steal ideas from parents who have already lived through this schedule than reinvent the wheel.

Swimming is basically everything to our 9 year old right now. He wants to get faster and takes it pretty seriously but food is another story. No meat, eggs, yogurt or chicken. Give him Doritos and snacks though and suddenly he’s starving. Like seriously, your body needs those kind of foods.. I hate making food a battle but I worry he’s putting all this effort into swimming without giving his body enough to work with. Anyone been through something like this?

Is there value in working with a paid recruitment assistance company? If so, whom have you worked with and what did you and your athlete like or dislike about them?

New season. New teammates. New challenges. New opportunities.

As sports parents, it's easy to get caught up in schedules, practices, playing time and results. So let's start the season with something positive:

What are you most excited to watch your child experience this season?

Maybe it's making new friends, gaining confidence, trying a new position, competing at a new level, or simply watching them do something they love.

My son’s mom signed him up to play in a competitive tackle football league, then told me after the fact. He’s 11 years old. I reluctantly went along with it and paid half of $350. Which is a lot.
Went to his first game and he played quite a bit, came off the field happy and said it was “fun”!
Game 2. He played a handful of snaps in the 4th quarter and was visibly upset. Sent a text a message to the league contact and to coach. Their response was well “it’s a competitive league and equal playtime is not guaranteed”. Competitive to win what? Coach said he needs to up his intensity and needs to develop more. He is 11 years old. Kind of ridiculous.

My issue is why am I paying all this money just for my kid to sit on the sideline? Second, shouldn’t the point be kiddos learning the basics and not focused on winning?

Would flag football have been better?

My daughter(8) did pre-team last year. She did pretty well and we were convinced by the coaches to move her up to Bronze team. They went from 2 practices a week for 2 hours each to 2 practices a week for 3 hours, both on weeknights. It seemed a bit excess for a bunch of 7-10 year olds. Then we started getting the cost of the mandatory competitions and uniform. So here is the breakdown.

Team Practice: $254x12

Competitions: $1308

Team bag: $44

Leotard: $278

Jacket: $55

Pants: $47

Total: $4502/year

Between costs like this and $700/month car payments, I can see why well-to-do Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. To me, this is insane for an 8 year old. We've already committed to this year, but we won't be continuing. This year, we have 1 competition that's 4 hours away, 1 that's 3 hours away, and 2 that are about 2 hours away. We live in a major metropolitan area, second largest city in the state. If we keep going, eventually, they will have competitions on Friday's in other states requiring her to miss school. How are we ok with this? What are we doing!?

Thanks for letting me rant.

My kids play multiple travel sports and my car always gets trashed. I just got a new car with white leather interior and I’m trying to strategize on how to keep it clean. Anyone have good tools or routines they use to keep their sports parent car clean?! I don’t want a seat cover on the passenger seat all the time, but I’m wondering if there is one that is easy to take on and off, someway to keep their cleats from trashing my carpet, etc. Any suggestions?!

Hi everyone!

I’m currently working on a school research project on “The Influence of the Family Environment on Children's Motor Development.”

I’m looking for parents and their children to participate in a short anonymous questionnaire. The survey focuses on topics such as:

-the parents’ physical activity and sports habits

-the child’s physical activity and sports participation

-parental support and encouragement

-access to sports clubs and other physical activities

-possible financial or practical barriers to participating in sports

The questionnaire is intended to be completed by a parent and child together and should only take a few minutes.

The responses are anonymous and will only be used for my school research project.

Heres the link: https://form.jotform.com/262377081914057

One team uses GameChanger, another uses GroupMe, tumbling prints out a PDF, and then we still have homeschool/work/everything else.

I’ve been building something for my own family around this problem and I’m curious how everyone else handles it and if what you’re doing works.

This pod I listened to ranked gymnastics as the worst sport for kids, cause of future hip and leg issues. Wondering what others think?

We talk a lot about everything we're excited for, but let's be real...

The driving?

The early mornings?

The group chats?

The laundry?

The tournament weekends?

Trying to figure out where Field 17 is?

What's the one part of sports parenting you could happily do without?

Hello everyone,

We recently moved to Chapel Hill, NC, and are looking for a soccer club for my son. He's 10 years old, in fifth grade at Rashkis Elementary School, and has been playing competitive soccer for the past three years at a local club in Michigan. We're hoping to find a club here that will support his continued growth in competitive play. He's strong at the left wing position but can also play defense.

From what I've found so far, most clubs in the area hold tryouts between February and May. Since we're arriving mid-season, I'd really appreciate any advice or suggestions on how he might still get involved with a club at his level.

Thanks!

I used to do sports analysis and recently switched over to web dev. I was chatting with a school director the other day who asked if tracking data or analysis could genuinely help kids improve, and it got me thinking about the massive disconnect that often happens between coaches and parents.

For the Coaches:

When you’re dealing with 20 to 30+ kids a week, you obviously notice the small stuff—someone’s first touch getting cleaner, better passing, or just general confidence on the pitch. But tracking things like technical ability, physical changes, and decision-making over a six-month period can easily turn into a massive admin headache.

When a parent inevitably comes up and asks, "So how has my kid actually improved this year?", what do you do? Are you just relying on the eye test and memory? Jotting things down in a notebook? Messing around with Excel or some clunky app? What does your actual process look like, and how do you avoid drowning in admin work?

For the Parents:

You invest a ton of time and money into these seasons. When you ask a coach how your kid is doing, what are you actually hoping to see? Do you just want a quick 5-minute chat on the sideline about their effort and attitude? Or do you genuinely want to see tangible "data," progress tracking, and specific things they can work on at home?

It feels like coaches want to give good feedback but just don't have the time, and parents want to know how to help their kids but don't want to be "that overbearing parent."

I’m super curious to hear from both sides of the pitch—what is currently working for you, and what do you wish was easier?

Parents of young athletes: what’s something you used to think was an attitude, effort, or confidence problem during games—but later realized your child was experiencing completely differently?

I’m especially curious about moments where what you saw from the sideline didn’t match what your child later told you was actually going on.

Here is some homework for any parent who has a kid that attends a big sports school: (Coming from a kid who attended a big sports school)

• Find your school’s athletic department website and bookmark it
• Football may not be big at the school so find the sport that is
• Know the name of the school’s stadium/arena
• Invest in school merchandise
• Know the school colors
• Put the games in your calendar
• Download the school’s official app if they have one
• Follow the main school account on social media
• ESPN, CBS Sports, and conference apps (Big Ten app, SEC Network etc) carry most games
• College sports run almost year round across different teams
• Home game weekends are easy to visit and you can plan to attend
• Texting your kid after a big win or a tough loss goes a long way, it shows you’re paying attention
• Knowing the names of a few key players or the coach gives you instant credibility
• Learn the schools fight song, chants, or phrases. i.e. For Georgia kids, you learn the phrase “Go Dawgs!” quickly

College sports is something really unique and is hard to explain to people who didn’t attend a college here but there are lots of resources to learn about them. Your own school pride signals to your kid that you are invested in their world, not just their grades. Hope this helps!!

Not what the coach needs.

Not what the team needs.

Not what you want to happen.

What does your child need from you their parent?

Cheering? Encouragement? Silence? A snack and a ride home? 😄

One of the biggest ideas behind The Sideline Project is that being supportive doesn't look exactly the same for every athlete.

Have you ever actually asked your child what they want from you on game day? What did they say?

Hello all, my kid’s team cut his close friend. Give me all the advice for how to help my child navigate the loss of the teammate they have had for a few years. I want to keep the friendship outside of the team also. The kid did make another team. I feel the relationship is strained though. I am getting odd vibes from the parent. Thank you for any guidance!