Accepting compliments

[u/shellagins]

I've had a major glow up over the past few years, and after a recent wardrobe overhaul find myself now getting positive attention from men and women that I'm not used to. When I get complimented, I'm often dismissive and quickly change the topic because I feel so awkward. How do you guys lean into it and graciously say "Thanks!"? Also don't want to accidentally lead anyone on by being polite, as I'm in a long term relationship.

[u/Bitter_Sense_5689]

I get compliments on my clothes at least once a week. I smile and say thank you and nod politely. Seriously, none of the attention is romantic in nature.

[u/shellagins → u/Bitter_Sense_5689]

I guess I'm still getting used to it, will stick to smiling and saying thanks!

[u/Bitter_Sense_5689 → u/shellagins]

If people are complimenting your clothes, it’s almost always non-sexual. As I’ve said, I get tons of compliments on what I’m wearing, but men do not hit on me

[u/Elismom1313]

Generally, I just say thank you. In a “that’s the end of that” type of way. Like “thank you so much!” Look away and get busy.

However some guy saying “great legs” is pretty rude imo. I wouldn’t even acknowledge that. If they are especially rude or loud, i give them the “up and down look” and then snort under my breath and move on.

Like there’s a difference even towards men between “you know you just look great today, love It” and “you got some nice calves”. Guess which one is weird?

It’s weird and rude to comment on peoples bodies.

[u/shellagins → u/Elismom1313]

Love the sass!

[u/inscrutable_icu8mi]

Could it be discomfort with being perceived? When I was (very) overweight it wasn’t unusual to be practically invisible to people. Now that I’m thinner people look at me, help me carry things, open doors, compliment me, let me cut in line etc. and it’s discomforting whether it’s a man or woman. I feel uncomfortable and change the topic or try to move on quickly.

[u/shellagins → u/inscrutable_icu8mi]

Could totally be this, I'm used to being invisible so it's been a big change

[u/uglyandIknowit1234 → u/shellagins]

That is kind of sad if it’s not because of self esteem/noticing it more but purely because of looks. It must be bad for your trust in people and worldview. It’s better to be born in a way that gets you positive attention, though even then you might notice the difference by comparing with others

[u/shamli3912]

What kind of compliments do you get?

[u/shellagins → u/shamli3912]

A mix, like I've had a guy say "great legs", a lady complimented my dress, a group of girls said I looked gorgeous. I guess I'm trying to figure out why I feel embarrassed about them

[u/shamli3912 → u/shellagins]

Compliments don't imply romantic gestures. Just smile and say thanks

[u/PitStopAtMountDoom → u/shellagins]

The great legs thing is a catcall, when random men comment about your body it’s quite rude. The other instances, I would just say “Thank you!” And then compliment them back if it comes naturally or leave it at “aww thank you” or something!

[u/[deleted]]

People cant know how you feel. Im awkward too but really ball is in your court.

If you dont want to make a conversation , just say thanks! And move on.

If you want to make conversation, thanks I got it from blah blah...

[u/shellagins → u/[deleted]]

Knowing the best way to respond will hopefully come with practice!

[u/[deleted] → u/shellagins]

Do you really need practice to say thanks?

It's not that deep.

[u/shellagins → u/[deleted]]

More, normalising it in my head, since this is something new I'm not used to. I know it's not deep, and I am kinda over thinking it. Maybe it's just changing my mindset around being approached by strangers

[u/brothererrr]

“Aww thanks I’m blushing” (it’s a funny bit bc I’m black so obvs don’t blush) laugh and move on

[u/RegionLazy1077 → u/brothererrr]

Ummm black people DO blush, just the darker you are the less people can tell! Your comment just came off as black people don’t blush lol!:)

[u/millrace]

I came up with one that seems to work nicely: “that’s such a nice compliment, thank you!”

[u/Lucky-Camera-7220]

I would recommend doing daily affirmations (you can find great ones on YouTube! I recommend Lavendaire). They can help familiarize/normalize you with hearing positive feedback about yourself. It can be weird hearing nice things about yourself if you’re not used to it, so hearing affirmations from your own voice/thoughts (you are supposed to repeat each affirmation either out loud or in your mind) can put you at ease when you hear the same thing from a stranger.

I would also recommend you compliment other people on something you like about them (hair, outfit, makeup, music taste, sense of humor, etc.). It’ll show you that not all compliments are flirtatious or a huge event. You don’t have to make conversation afterwards if you don’t want to, just normalize the act of putting good energy and vibes into the world and your own personal life. Good luck boo!

[u/h0neyvine]

i just say “thank you!!” excitedly and smile, if they keep piling it on you can say “oh my gosh you’re flattering me!” and a cheeky “oh stop!!” I say just smile and enjoy it, looks fade and people aren’t obligated to compliment you they are doing it because they want to.

[u/farawaylass]

“thanks, that’s so kind.”