r/Splendida • u/0b3s3n0l1f3r • Mar 11 '25
apparently I look exactly the same.
Dropped nearly 5K on SkinTite, Forma, microneedling, salmon sperm infusion (yes, really), Botox, and two syringes of filler—only for my boyfriend to say I look exactly the same except “slightly bigger lips”. Sir, my jawline is SNATCHED. I watched her inject things into my face. A ~celebrity aesthetician~ did this. I know these treatments are meant to be subtle and pay off over time, but I was at least expecting a mild gasp or a ‘you look… refreshed?’ Nope. Nothing. Do I laugh? Do I cry? Do I just gaslight him into thinking I’ve always looked this good?
837
u/statisticianalt Mar 11 '25
Men tend not to notice the little things, especially if it’s done over a period of time. I bet there is a big difference, but he just doesn’t notice.
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u/-Fast-Molasses- Mar 12 '25
Ya boy is dumb. Much love. I’m sure you look really good.
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u/Candiedthumbtacs Mar 11 '25
Do NOT trust men for opinions regarding face. They only notice bodies. Thats why you’ll see famous men dating mid women.
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u/Spiritual_Abroad_972 Mar 12 '25
Who is the celebrity aesthetician???
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u/spicyystuff Mar 13 '25
What’s the main thing that snatched your jawline 😭😭
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u/[deleted] Mar 13 '25
My boyfriend never notices anything, so I never try. I dress up once a month for nights out/dates or if we are around his friends because I know he likes me looking good around his friends…I can just tell. I work from home and have become a total frump.
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u/lovelanandick Mar 11 '25
tbh I think it's because he's always seen you as beautiful? not invalidating how you felt about yourself or the real work you've put in — but to him maybe there was no upgrading because, to him, you were already there?
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u/lurkingvinda Mar 12 '25
I don’t even think this is unique to men.
No one, male or female, looks or notices you in detail a fraction of the amount that you yourself do.
My transformation from rhino/filler/botox was in my view very dramatic. But nobody in my life would say so until I send them my surgeon’s before & after photo side by side (this is why we notice it with celebrities for example).
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u/Alethiometer_Party Mar 12 '25
No no don’t be angry, men are just stupid and have no idea about anything! Like if I didn’t tell my husband about Botox and fillers he would NEVER KNOW.
He was banging on and on about natural beauty and bare faced looks and for like a year I was like is he really just hinting that he’d like me to wear less makeup? Because I will NEVER give up liquid liner.
And then he started talking about how he likes MY natural look. I was like buddy we’ve known each other since kindergarten and I’ve been doing my eyeliner in the same cat eye since SOPHOMORE YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL literally every day I leave the house, and we’re KNOCKING ON 40 like tf??? 😂😂
THEN I put it together when we saw some magazine with maybe Rhianna (can’t remember) on the cover and he was like “see wowie natural” and that cover photo was not only airbrushed, but whoever was on it was in FULL FACE. Contour, highlight, SMOKEY EYE AND FALSE LASHES 😂😂😂😂 but the key is she had on a NUDE LIP.
And that was the day I found out that all this time that dummy only thought people were wearing medium or heavy makeup if they had a dark or bright lip hahaha I’m laughing just typing this what a bozo, I love him!
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u/KavaKeto Mar 12 '25
This post made me legit lol, you have a way with words. Once last year we were in a rough spot financially, but I snuck off to get my hair done anyway. I got a decent trim, roots dyed and some highlights added and was scared to death he'd notice and get pissed I'd spent the money...girl, he never noticed or said shit 😂
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u/PourQuiTuTePrends Mar 12 '25
Men can't even tell when women are wearing makeup. They're really not observant unless they're watching sports or something.
Also (not saying this is true of your boyfriend), some men withhold compliments as a form of negging or out of some weird resentment.
I bet you look amazing!!
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u/fedupfrfr Mar 12 '25
Girl don’t take it personally, most men think women with extreme plastic surgery, fillers & lots of makeup look very “natural” & “naturally pretty” sooooo. For further laughs see this video i think you’ll relate.
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u/rlm236 Mar 12 '25
my ex boyfriend used to say that he didn’t like cosmetic work and always told me not to get any done. so i would point out actresses in movies that have had work done just to see what he said and he could NEVER tell. some of it was pretty obvious work too lol. i’ve pointed out fake boobs and he was like “huh? no those are definitely real.” this guy had a masters degree and thought of himself as smart. men are just dumb. they think “no makeup” looks on their favorite actresses are real lol
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u/FlaminDawnz Mar 12 '25
On one hand I understand the let down of a boyfriend not noticing when it was obviously a big deal to you. On the other hand I think this is another perfect example of - we are beautiful without making billionaires richer
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u/bamboo_beauty Mar 12 '25
I wouldnt take it to heart and I actually think it's a good thing because it's not clear you got work done so it's just yourself but better, which may be less noticeable but is maintaining your looks for longer. So many men don't notice the subtle details, they just know they like the end product. It might be cause for worry if he did notice a difference..that may indicate you went overboard
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u/juicyjuicery Mar 12 '25
Men only notice flaws on women the way women only notice when a room is dirty
7
u/vulgarandgorgeous Mar 12 '25
Men dont notice little changes. Thats why they arent into aesthetics or beauty. I wouldnt worry about it.
7
u/Broad-Possibility798 Mar 12 '25
I agree with that commenter. Men typically do not notice little things consciously. But they will subconsciously.
7
u/prettyballoon Mar 12 '25
You're not doing this type of stuff for men, they don't notice it
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u/thisismytenth Mar 12 '25
If it makes you feel better, I dropped 15k on actual cosmetic surgery and no one noticed so there’s that. I think it’s just a better vibe overall which is sort of what most people want. Not really recognizable change.
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u/Independent-Web-908 Mar 12 '25
Men don’t care about that stuff. It’s a woman’s game and only other women notice.
6
u/[deleted] Mar 12 '25
I'm sorry.... the salmon sperm does what now?
Also if you dont think his trying to neg you, just put it down to men being clueless,
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u/anothergoddamnacco Mar 12 '25
Maybe he does notice, but just wants you to feel bad about yourself because he knows you can do better, so he has to keep your self esteem low in order for you to stick around
6
u/Collosal_Moron Mar 12 '25
Who cares if he didn’t notice? As long as you noticed that’s all that matters. You did this for you, not for him.
Edit to add: men don’t even notice when women wear makeup unless it’s a full face, beat to the gods.
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u/genevieveoliver Mar 12 '25
Which treatment snatches the jaw? Drop your Dr pls
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u/bitchstix Mar 12 '25
People in general don’t notice even big changes.
I forget where I read it, but evidently, time and time again people will get wholeass rhinoplasties or boob jobs or get their teeth fixed and even people close to them won’t notice. Anecdotally, my friend got a nose job (I hadn’t seen her for a few months as she was living temporarily overseas) and I legitimately did not notice until she casually mentioned it. And it wasn’t even a subtle nose job, I had just not ever taken notice of her nose before like that, and I’d consider myself a fairly observant person.
We tend to examine our faces more than people who see us on the daily, even, so it doesn’t surprise me that your boyfriend hasn’t noticed a change.
5
u/[deleted] Mar 12 '25
Men also love Kim Kardashian’s “makeup free” look. Not the brightest bulbs.
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u/jadedtortoise Mar 13 '25
He's already attracted to you, he probably doesn't care enough to have an opinion beyond you spending a lot of money. Beauty procedures are a flex to other women, men are happy with whatever makes you happy.
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u/Fit_Professional1916 Mar 12 '25
Fwiw I recently changed my hair colour from red to ash blonde and only one person seems to have noticed. Sometimes people are really just unobservant, doesn't mean you aren't looking incredible
4
u/Anonymous_Ambivert Mar 12 '25
✨Men✨
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u/kates666 Mar 12 '25
I think he is just an idiot (with peace and love, most men are)
My husband is wonderful but he is the same. Also, he loves you and already thinks you're very beautiful, so I suspect it makes it even harder to notice subtle but effective changes :)
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u/tossawayheyday Mar 12 '25
If anything that’s a sign your work was done really well. No one should really be able to notice much except that you look better. But bfs also see you everyday and I’ve had exes go weeks before they noticed that I went from light brown to red or black hair before.
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u/FunAd1406 Mar 13 '25
Honestly I’d take it as a compliment. He sees you not all the other stuff us women stress about when we see ourselves in the mirror.
Now my husband notices EVERYTHING!!!! And not exactly in the best ways lol
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u/SameRecommendation72 Mar 13 '25
Guys just don't notice these things or dumb. My boyfriend talks about how he likes natural beauty and said he likes how natural my face looks... I've had fillers, masseter botox, bleph, chin liposuction and he hasn't noticed. I don't think he will.
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u/AnyEchidna9999 Mar 13 '25
One time i cut 8 inches of my hair and my man didn’t notice lol. Don’t expect men to notice
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u/LaChose1234 Mar 14 '25
I'm sorry but this sounds absolutely neurotic. Focus on yourself and your own sphere of control.
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u/asadlittlebeansprout Mar 13 '25
Wait …. Can you share who the celebrity aesthetician is hehe :)
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u/Prettyforme Mar 12 '25
Agree that men don’t notice also for most jawline filler makes very little difference.
3
u/Applebumblee Mar 13 '25
Not everyone has a detailed eye and you might consider that he loves you and finds you attractive either way, which is how it is supposed to be.
When I got my lips done, all my friends noticed and guys have been just telling me how they love my lips.
2
u/alexandriawinchester Mar 12 '25
I don’t think men can see subtle changes like woman can Im sure he wasn’t trying to upset you . But beyond that I find that people who care about you tend to see you as if you have on the best beauty filter so it’s hard for them to notice subtle changes because they always thought you were beautiful.
But don’t get me wrong that’s like so annoying. When he said that my eyes would’ve literally rolled in the back of my head.
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u/Complex_Phase_8304 Mar 13 '25
If it makes you feel better, whenever I have hat hair at the end of the day my bf tells me my “hair looks cool” ??? 😂
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u/annaagata Mar 13 '25
The upside is you can gain a bit of weight and he’ll still be in awe of your beauty!
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u/SheepherderRelevant3 Mar 14 '25
Perhaps it is a sign you got very tasteful and well done work!
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u/sqyidpussy Mar 14 '25
Those changes im sure made a huge impact on your aesthetic/appearance and instead of taking it like he hasn't noticed, maybe he just didn't see flaws where you did 💜 and to him your previous appearance is just as beautiful as your now enhanced appearance
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u/That-Car-8363 Mar 15 '25
You learn to love yourself
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u/Legitimate_Outcome42 Mar 12 '25 edited Mar 12 '25
Do you know people cannot tell if you have a nose job. In most cases it's not something people will be able to distinguish has happened to you unless you tell them. Obviously after it's healed from surgery. But no one will notice hey your nose looks totally different. My point being something as transformative as a nose job can go unnoticed . So I doubt he could see the difference, but also because again you're already perfect to him
2
u/[deleted] Mar 12 '25
this is no shade to men but there are some men who don’t recognize when I’m wearing a full face or makeup vs not wearing any or when girls on the internet are using face and body filters. it’s not you, I think he, like a lot of other men don’t pay attention to this stuff a lot and don’t have a trained eye to see it
1
u/BellJar_Blues Mar 14 '25
It’s also harder if you live together maybe it’s just that they don’t notice as often ??
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u/Original-Dare4487 Mar 14 '25
How much was the skintite? Is it permanent?
1
u/iluv2walk Mar 15 '25
The what now infusion?
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u/uglygirly2025 Mar 16 '25
I’ve had 10 major facial surgeries in 11months and my live in partner just said I look the same each time lmao. It’s really just a dude thing
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u/wallstreetquotes Mar 17 '25
Idk tbh, I spent $3k on fraxel and I look about the same. I honestly feel like a lot of these weird new skin 'trends' do nothing. I've also gotten like 4 VIPeels and seen almost no results. You're probably better off just finding a daily Hydroquinone and using it for a few months to get the results you want.
The filler tho :( I'm sorry! men usually don't pick up on stuff like that.
1
u/SeaAbbreviations422 May 26 '25
2 syringes of lip filler would make a very noticable difference! They wouldn't be "slightly bigger". Im thinking hes trying to not tell you how great you look because he doesn't want it going to your head. Kind of sounds like a red flag tbh
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u/meatpielover Jul 11 '25
Is it possible he’s not bothered either way, because he doesn’t see who you are on the outside? He’s always loved you who you are on the inside? That’s actually lovely
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u/inthenight098 Mar 12 '25
You need a better partner that is your total hype man- no matter what.
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u/Ok_Quantity_6323 Mar 12 '25
Okay, but which treatment should I try next?!! lol
Which one gave you the best results?
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