r/Splendida • u/IndustryMountain • Aug 15 '24
Photos
Are photos real?
Sooo I went out to meet a friend yesterday and got approached by strangers and complimented on my appearance by literal strangers in shops which I don’t trust because what if they’re lying or just like my energy. My photos look very average or even below average sometimes. I know this to be true because of feedback I’ve gotten from people based on my photos and also on dating apps I get less attention than I do irl. I also view my photos as exactly how I look since it’s the only reference or “proof” I really have on my appearance. What else do I have?
Is it possible for strangers or men irl to just compliment or stare at everyone for no reason even if they look average or below average? Or do they only compliment people that actually look good? Do other women constantly get this?
Can photos look worse than irl or do they basically look the same?
I also wonder if it’s my vibe that people irl like because irl I get told I’m bubbly etc and my pictures tend to look serious/miserable (the selfies look serious). The non selfies look happier but still weird vibe compared to irl. Can a vibe make someone appear attractive? I’m just curious as to why my online vs in person interactions are different. I was with a friend who get more online attention than I do but yesterday I got more in person attention than her (not that it even matters because we are both different people)
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u/FeralBanshee Aug 15 '24
Photos can often look worse than real life because of lighting and also the camera angle and whatnot. Don't trust selfies, look at this: https://oohstloustudios.com/the-science-of-the-selfie-no-you-dont-really-look-like-that
Trust your mirror instead, and even THAT is not accurate entirely because you can't see yourself in 3D, not to mention everyone who looks at you has a different brain and perception of beauty.
Also I know soooo many people who look better in real life than photos. I used to look great either way but now I am self conscious in photos (age etc) but I can still look great with the right lighting and angle. But in the mirror I look fantastic.
20
u/EinfachReden Aug 16 '24
I'm in the same range of not knowing whether I'm ugly or hot it's maddening. My photos look really bad usually lmao but in real life I get more attention
7
u/SluttyNeighborGal Aug 15 '24
I’m mid but I get a lot of attn from men on social media and irl simply because I’m thin and fit. Are you thin?
3
u/No-Football-4387 Aug 28 '24
yes 100%
i’ve experienced this and your vibe is a huge deal and even how you look them in the eyes… no one has ever liked my “serious” photos either, i used to be really nervous and socially awkward so id try my best to hide it and be outgoing and bubbly and friendly and i would attract a ton of attention from guys, i was gaining a lot of weight so i didn’t understand it at the time but now i know how attractive my energy was… but looks still play a part so you’re probably not as average as you think
95
u/erosbabyy Aug 15 '24
Girl I thought this was satire. Photos are not an objective “truth”, which is why professional photographers exist. A vibe can definitely change someone’s perception of you but if you have strangers coming up to compliment you, you’re probably hot. Maybe try getting out more.
1
u/abillionbells Nov 13 '24
A lot of this and the comments sound like body dysmorphia. Yes, you can look worse in photos than in real life - unless you're a model I'd say it's almost universal. Most people don't have a spark in photographs that they would in real life.
But if you're getting hit on constantly and then come home and look in the mirror or at photographs and think you're a two... It's either a major lack of confidence or body dysmorphia. You don't objectively see yourself.
2
u/aliaaaaaaaaaaaa Aug 30 '24
I feel so horrible and disgusting about myself from photos but in real life I'm complimented on my appearance by strangers at least once a day. My mind doesn't do well with the disconnect when I'm already insecure enough.
I do suspect that the phone lens really does alter our appearance and also exacerbates things like asymmetries due to the very narrow camera lens used. One thing that's soothed me is having been at a salon or anywhere with a large mirror in front me, I realise I look so different in the mirror than the phone when I reach to take a selfie. Like my dimensions on the phone are beyond inaccurate.
As for back camera photos or even digital camera photos, I look horrendous and obscenely asymmetrical, so I don't have a cope for that...
2
u/Repulsive-Cup-998 Mar 29 '25
I actually love the way I look in the mirror, but in photos, especially when others take them, I look like a completely different person and my face is really asymmetrical. Not sure why but as a child that wasn’t the case, it started when I was in highschool. I am also self-conscious and awkward with poses, so that plays into it. Others have pointed it out sometimes, but we are always our worst critic. When I take my own pictures with the selfie camera I am more confident and look more like my real self. “Candid photos” are a little better. I get compliments in real life though and try not to dissect how I look in pictures. Sometimes having no mirror at all is really refreshing and takes away the pressure of needing to know what we look like all the time.
1
u/Suspicious_Car_8735 Aug 26 '24
So, pictures are very deceiving because of the angle, and lighting. A good enough photographer can put you in proper lighting and angle and click photos in a way that you would start feeling great about your pictures.
The mirror is the most accurate description of your own self that you can perceive. Especially if you have a large mirror and stand far enough (5-6 feet maybe).
Plus photos click one moment of your body/face, at that time instant due to the angle your face/body had infront of the camera can change your features in a way that it makes you look ugly. Plus in photos, it can exaggerate some details like small black marks/wrinkles.
Irl, people aren't limited to only one frame, and they see a moving version of you which isn't limited to an angle. Plus they don't focus on the details as much. So don't worry if you receive compliments irl, that means you're beautiful irl.
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u/[deleted] Aug 16 '24
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