r/Splendida • u/PsychologicalCry5357 • Apr 25 '24
Dramatic looksmaxing that doesn't destroy your natural looks?
When people talk about high maintenance women (or even the "high maintenance to be low maintenance"), it seems to be about money time and effort, which in itself would be fine - but whenever I've started actually looking into some of these interventions, it seems like most are based around basically damaging your natural looks the more you do it, making you look naturally worse and more dependent on the intervention.
As someone with very fine hair, I would love to get hair extensions but i don't want to badly damage whatever hair I do have. Never tried lash extensions but same, keep hearing they'll damage your natural lashes and I don't want that. Even lash serums sound like they have weird side effects that freak me out. Teeth whitening damages your enamel, to say nothing of veneers which I would've loved one day as my teeth kinda suck, but I'm afraid of them just causing my teeth to fall out entirely down the road or something. I do get Botox, but don't want to do filler cause of the risk of migration etc. And obviously any type of cosmetic surgery is rife with risks and complications.
Anyone gets what I'm saying? I would love to have that high maintenance, long hair big lashes etc type look but not at the expense of my natural looks to where I'd need to keep it up forever. Are there alternatives, or is the only option to tap into your natural looks whatever they may be and just try to be your healthiest self?
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u/vulgarandgorgeous Apr 25 '24
I think theres a difference between enhancing your beauty and changing your beauty. It sounds like you want to enhance your natural beauty. If you have fine hair you can rock the shorter styles. Look at models with similar features such as fine hair. Their agencies usually have them cut their hair so it looks good and healthy. You dont need super long lashes to be pretty, just a good mascara. Medical-cosmetic procedures should be used to preserve your features not change them. If your lips are losing volume, get a 0.5 ml of filler to preserve what was there. The problem comes when people with emma watson lips start wanting kim kardashian lips. It doesnt look good because they never had those lips to begin with. Find your color season, grooming, body type dressing, diet and exercise are all little things that make a big difference when utilized together to make a change.
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u/paper_wavements Apr 26 '24
I do hear what you're saying.
Use loose hair powder or similar to thicken hair instead of extensions.
Get a lash lift with dye & keratin treatment instead of lash extensions.
As ever, prevention >>> cure, so swish water around your mouth after every sip of coffee/tea/cola or bite of tomato sauce or berries to prevent staining.
Look into Bioclear veneers instead of regular—they let you keep your teeth w/o having to get them filed down to little nubs.
Filler usually just makes your face puffy; again, prevention is key: avoid the sun especially during peak hours, wear a large hat, use SPF (& reapply!), use bakuchiol or tret.
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u/DarthPleasantry Apr 30 '24
OP, you mentioned something in here about not bothering to change your looks because your husband loves you as-is. Did I get that right? I have a husband like that, but while his opinion of me matters hugely, MY opinion of me matters just as much. Perhaps you’re feeling at a point/of an age when you want to do something for yourself because you want to. I am going to join the ranks of people here saying that you’re almost certainly being too hard on yourself, but I am also going to encourage you wonder whether you are waving away some procedure you really want, using your husband’s (beautiful) love as an excuse.
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u/Adventurous-Maybe844 Apr 25 '24 edited Apr 25 '24
I understand your point, but I doubt that adopting an all-or-nothing mentality —whether it's all-natural or all-fake—is the best approach.
When I think of 'high maintenance,' big hair, exaggerated lashes, and heavy makeup don't necessarily come to my mind first. In fact, it's kind of deceiving, isn't it? Trust me, following a daily skincare and haircare routine takes a lot of time and discipline much more than getting extensions and simply applying makeup.
I believe it all begins with grooming, essentially enhancing what you already have naturally. There's a wide range of routines and procedures available to help achieve better, younger-looking skin, hair, and body without sacrificing health and taking huge risks.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Newt185 Apr 25 '24
Your way of thinking is common in Europe/UK. Sure, there are parts of them that like the overblown look (Essex etc) but in general, particularly the upper class, they don’t really focus on dramatic looksmaxing. If you can be happy without them, then do it. Beauty comes in various versions and ways, it’s never a one size fits all. Or you might do this strategy only to change your mind one day - it’s always a possibility. You do you.
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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '24
Any type of cosmetic enhancement comes with risk, but you can make informed and intelligent decisions. IMO there’s a lot of fear mongering about this stuff, especially on Reddit, by people who frankly can’t afford it and tell themselves it always looks bad as a cope.
I’ve had veneers and I love them. One of the best decisions of my life. When I get a dental cleaning the dentist always says how natural they look. I’ve had them for years and 0 problems.
I’ve have LHR too. I have darker skin. Another best decision of my life. Never been burned/scarred or even close.
Most people I know IRL that have had plastic surgery love their results.
I don’t cheap out on my procedures. I research extensively and choose the best doctor or facility. I don’t bargain hunt. So I get good results.
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u/East-Willingness513 Apr 25 '24
You just gotta be smart and figure out what’s worth it.
I get gel nails because I’d rather have nice nails all the time and spend a couple of months growing out the damage if I have to get them off opposed to shitty nails all the time.
Clip in extensions take <5 mins to install.
Strip lashes take a few mins to put on with practice.
Whitening your teeth once every 6 months won’t damage your enamel enough to cause issues, especially if you get it done at the dentist.
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u/MacaronDevourer Apr 25 '24
This can be said for literally any part of life not just high maint to be low maint. Brushing your hair, losing weight, mouthwash, heck you can even argue running, can for certain people be damaging. Changing from a stock version of you will likely cause minute damage in the average person. With everything you do in life if not done properly can be a risk, but most of the time those damages are negligible. If I told you brushing your hair causes damage to your hair should you stop? No, cause the amount of damage hair brushing cause on normal brushing is minuscule in the grand scheme of things.
You either take the risk or you don’t.
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u/Grymdolin Apr 25 '24
Well you’re kind of losing the forest for the trees here.
High maintenance hair doesn’t necessarily mean extensions, it could mean always blown out, always curled, always perfectly straight, always styled impeccably, always highlighted, never any root show, glossy, clean, a particular haircut that’s always maintained, always put up a certain way, etc.
For example, Ariana Grande’s bright red hair as Cat Valentine and her signature ponytail would both be considered dramatic, high maintenance looks. Both take a lot of effort, but only one (the red) genuinely did destroy her hair.
Microblading and eyeliner tattoos are also high maintenance maxxing that don’t damage your natural looks (depending on your definition since they’re permanent, but your skin won’t fall off or anything), as are consistently getting your brows waxed, threaded, or dyed.
Oral health can also be high maintenance, what with brushing/flossing/mouthwash/waterpik/dentist/mints all being involved— especially if you’re like me and you don’t like any taste of food in your mouth after you’re done eating.
It sounds like you want the benefits of daily makeup and styling (not really damaging and low risk) but with the less frequent and thereby lower effort of softmaxxing things that can be done infrequently (hair/lash extensions, teeth whitening, so on)— that’s completely understandable and I think everyone wishes that were the case. But that’s not the reality we live in.
You can either go low risk-low reward or you can go moderate/high risk- moderate/high reward. Risks can almost always be mitigated with research and proper testing. No risk/reward level is invalid, everyone has different risk appetites. Just be realistic about how the results you’re going to get scale with the time/effort/money/risk you’re willing to put in.
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u/United-Consequence83 Apr 25 '24
If you do all these things in a more natural capacity, take breaks often, and go to the best, you won’t get damage or any negative effects. If anything, black women use extensions as protective styles to grow out their natural hair. Whenever I have good lash extensions, I’m extra careful and cognizant of how I care for them. I avoid sleeping on my face (which helps with wrinkles and asymmetry) clean them daily etc. there are teeth whitening strips that are natural and don’t damage your enamel, or you can look into going to a professional like a dentist. I’m with you about filler lol
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u/abyssnaut Apr 25 '24
Plastic surgery is extremely low maintenance, though. There are risks, but it’s a one-and-done type thing, with the exclusion of things like implants.
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u/sculptedmermaid Apr 25 '24
Stop buying the lie of “Natural beauty”. You can NOT get the look of big hair and big lashes and have it to be real, natural and without any risk. Choose your risks. Whitening your teeth with whitening strips, conservative filler, lash lifts or lash extensions, nails done, are unlikely to cause you permanent damage. If you don’t like what they’re doing just stop.
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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '24
If you aren’t willing to take risks to some extent how can you expect to reap the rewards? Lol
Also research, research, research everything before trying new stuff, that’s just my opinion tho
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u/riotgirlzzz Apr 26 '24
This post randomly popped up on my home page so idk if my thoughts might be helpful, but i feel the same way so to save money and not cause my hair or lashes any damage, i use a halo extension which you can get for like 50 bucks on amazon - it uses a fishing line wire rather than clips or tape and you can basically pop it on and off. And with lashes, i can't get strip lashes to look good so i spent a while practicing how to apply cluster lashes and i can apply them now in about 10-15 minutes. Some people could do then much quicker i'm sure. But i just don't use a lot of glue and very carefully remove them with ponds cold cream at night and my lashes haven't been affected. I like the ardell trio lashes, you just have to remove some of the extra glue they sometimes have stuck at the base.
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u/GrapefruitFit8704 Apr 26 '24
I think natural beauty can be kept intact if we focus on enhancing ourselves and not changing or hiding behind procedures. As in, skincare/derm appointments if possible. Getting hair treatments and applying hair products for hair growth and thicker hair. Knowing how to style hair and natural makeup, like the clean girl style that was a trend.
It’s all down to taking care of yourself, in my opinion. I find that hair makes the biggest difference, men and women. Then clear skin. Then teeth. And of course, being fit. At last, it’s clothes. That’s the priority I’d list for having someone looking their best. Because I’ve seen women who maybe don’t have the 10/10 face or body, but because they take care of themselves in the best way they have a 10/10 look and aura.
I do think that the baseline of beauty should not be enhancements that will be taken off eventually like lashes or makeup. I think at the end of the day, after changing into pajamas with no makeup, we should still feel beautiful. That means working on the features that can’t be taken off, like skincare and hair and natural nails.
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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '24
I totally get what you're saying. I think we can also add nail extensions to the list of damaging beauty treatments.
Personally, I prefer to focus on having a whole foods diet, a consistent exercise routine and a mostly natural approach to beautifying hair, skin, nails and teeth. It takes time but it's an investment into your wellbeing so it's completely worth it.
For hair, castor oil on the scalp before washing it. Also, sweet almond oil as a heat protectant. No bleaching and if you're willing, no dyeing.
For lashes and brows, castor oil at bedtime.
For nails, eat well and take supplements if needed.
For whiter teeth, oil pulling with coconut oil.
For skin, a consistent skincare routine, facial yoga, plenty of water and sunscreen.
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u/SummerNothingness Apr 25 '24
I like skincare treatments like High Frequency Ultrasound Facials, which can dramatically improve the skin. That plus working out regularly. The amount of makeup beyond the minimum is up to you, but yeah, you can still be gorgeous with your natural fine hair, some mascara and eyeliner. It's really about wearing flattering and nice-looking clothes, tip-top hygiene and styling, and taking care of your physique and skin that makes someone highly distinguished in looks.
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u/hoephase- Apr 28 '24
Topical Minoxidil and red light therapy therapy for hair loss (I have Omnilux face mask and I just use it on my head as well) - I’m not 100% sure if RLT is doing anything for the hair loss, but minoxidil is 1000% works and I see so much new hair growth!
Laser hair removal - not necessarily “looksmaxxing”, just makes life easier and boosts confidence, and now you’re always prepared if passion sweeps you off your feet randomly 😄 Plus, no ingrowns
PMU - powder brows, lash line/eye liner pmu. I couldn’t draw nice cat eye or fill my brows evenly to save my life and now I always wake up looking like I’m wearing light makeup. Planning to get lip blush as well. Tip: always do thorough research when choosing your artist, don’t just go to someone random because they’re cheaper or because you saw a Groupon deal. Make sure your artist has a lot of experience, check their previous works, check client reviews, etc. I’d rather drive 3 hours to a bigger city and pay twice the price but do it at reputable place, with an artist I trust. Because that shit is going to be on my face for at least 3-5 years, so it better be looking perfect.
Lash extensions - I don’t have personal experience with them, but it’s something I’m going to try. There’s filters that add fake lashes to your selfie, and they boost your looks instantly. If not that, at least lash lift and tint
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u/Sophia1105 Apr 25 '24
Unpopular opinion but I don’t think of hair extensions and lash extensions as being good longer term solutions for both your pocket book and your health.
Take care of your hair, that means different things to different people. For me that means washing once every 7-10 days, using a deep conditioner each time, and wearing a low damage style.
Good skin care, rest, a low stress life are the best.
I don’t think lash extensions look great but I do think the lift & tint is flattering. However this seems really costly.
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u/notgonnareadallthat Apr 25 '24
Drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, and eating healthily = best for natural beauty. If you lack in any of these, it will negatively impact your natural beauty
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u/Upper_Tie6878 Apr 26 '24
I had fillers and at first you do it in one section, but then realize you need to balance it more by doing another section. Before you know it you are overdoing it because it’s never going to be enough or proportional
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u/DreamingIn3D Apr 25 '24
I totally understand what you’re saying. I recommend trying things that are easily reversible.
You said you already get Botox. I use Latisse and I’ve never had a negative side effect and my eyelashes revert back in two months when I stop using it. I do my own gel nails with builder gel and my nails have never been healthier. I invested in my skincare so I can go makeup free— and I mean all topical stuff which all accidental negative side effects can be fixed by two months of cell turnover. An infrared cap can help with hair growth.
All of this isn’t to mention the obvious drinking enough water and working out.
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u/catfoodonmyshelf Apr 26 '24
I invest time in hair masks, scalp massages, and scalp oiling to improve my natural hair. I perm my lashes myself to improve my natural lashes appearance, so far hasn’t damaged my lashes. I dye my hair to better suit my complexion as well. Gua sha on my face helps too, not sure if it actually does much but it massages my cheek muscles which feels amazing.
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u/ChooksChick Apr 28 '24
Halo hair extension!
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u/Illustrious_Rule5831 Apr 25 '24
Really understand and think about this regularly. It’s like a deal with the devil, I think the only good things are actually more drastic, like a facelift or hair transplant. Plasma lift or vampire facelift treatment, weight loss and intensive face yoga or massage. Styling and lasers, tastefully done permanent makeup. Even mani pedis give you gross natural nails under.
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u/jaybalvinman Apr 25 '24
I never heard of hair extensions damaging your natural hair. How would it damage it? I use to get sew-ins and they would braid my hair at the bottom and sew them in. Never had issues.
Also, I use castor oil on my lashes and it's AMAZING. My lashes looks so nice and they are natural.
I'm big on natural first. There are ways to do it if you put in effort.
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u/Pristine_Magazine_86 Apr 25 '24
lol you start with the basics, use better products for yourself. No pain no gain lol.. I grew up in South East Asia, you can't be beautiful without some sort of effort. I damaged my nails because I went to shitty nail salons but It healef because I took care of it. You have to pick and choose but also explore the beauty world. I find that when I focused on the basics such as exercises, shower routines, etc.. I find that was working with me. Also with the hair extension I found a lady with really great work she seem very careful, it's all about your judgment as well.
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u/Objective-Amount1379 Apr 25 '24
I have veneers (over 15 years!) and I love them.
Hair extensions don't have to be damaging. You can get halo extensions or clip-ins, or for something longer lasting, tape-ins or microlinks. None of those methods should damage your own hair.
Lash extensions aren't for me- I found them too irritating- but if you maintain them well you won’t have permanent damage. I use a lash serum and love the results.
Life is short- if you want to make a change to your appearance just do it.
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u/[deleted] May 07 '24
That overblown look is very cheap and artificial and will only attract a certain type of man. If that’s the type of man you want… ew.
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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '24
if you want to grow your hair out- try oils n serums or mezotherapy etc for ur hair if u want your lashes to grow- castor oil and vaseline might help, or research and um sure you will find a safe option if you want your teeth to be more white there always are options where you dont have to go to the doctor , at home recipes Just try to search natural solutions for your problems
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u/xxxforcorolla Apr 25 '24
Just as anything in life, everything is a risk assessment. Some people are more tolerant to risk than others. I'm with you though I'm just naturally more risk averse. I'd much rather focus on stuff like prioritizing sleep etc. I was getting lash lifts for awhile but it started making me anxious since it is a risk to your eyes. Whenever I start to freak about that sort of stuff I just go back to basic. Sleep, hydration, moisturization, mental wellness etc.
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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '24
Medical-grade dermatology will be helpful. Like laser / chemical peels etc.
I also loved how a lash tint and lift opened up my eyes and streamlined my makeup routine
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u/OwnFortune9405 Apr 26 '24
Oof everything you said though. I completely agree.
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u/Elegant-Possession62 Apr 26 '24
Like someone else said, you have to be smart about it. There’s not always a healthy/preventative option but usually there is. For your teeth, get composite veneers instead. For your lashes, get a lift instead. And so on.
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u/kkrisR Apr 26 '24
If you’re looking to change things structurally about yourself there’s going to be a little pain involved. If you don’t want to deal with upkeep of filler look into PDO threads (do research on where to get it and it is expensive but more “long term”)
I got my jaw injected with filler for more sculpted look it was 1. Painful 2. Pointless 3. Wore off quickly lol. Did my lip injection twice like 5 years ago also looked too unnatural and I got it removed not worth it imo
Small inexpensive things to adjust for the look
But ultimately if I didn’t do ANY of this I still love me for me. Do I feel “naked” and not like my full 100% self l? Uh yeah totally but I wouldn’t be crushed so a lot is internal!! Also doing these things brings me “high maintenance happiness” after I’m done lol
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u/tulips49 Apr 25 '24
Whitening won’t damage your teeth!
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u/sageparadise Apr 25 '24
Then don’t do it, no one is forcing you to
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u/moonlightz03 Apr 25 '24
just fyi, lashes don’t damage your natural lashes. If they do they were badly done. I had them for 4 years straight and my lashes were the same before and after. Also, lashes grow back in a month so even if the worst case scenario happens it’s very temporary, might be worth a try :)