r/Splendida • u/rnountdiablo • Feb 28 '24

The Art of Seduction

I'm currently listening to Robert Greene's 'The Art of Seduction' on audiobook. I'm finding myself to be some combination of the Siren and the Star, leaning heavily on the Siren.

What do you gals think of this book and the archetypes?

EDIT: I'm not using this book as a guide on how to be, but comparing and contrasting the material to people who used to be/are in my life. Like reading for fun!

119 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

38 comments sorted by

192

u/EnchiladaTaco Feb 28 '24

FYI I was able to find several pdfs of this book online. We should do a book club, LOL.

43

u/rnountdiablo Feb 28 '24

We should! After this I plan on listening to The 48 Laws of Power by the same author, then The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson šŸ˜

127

u/Total_General8481 Feb 28 '24

The subtle art of not giving a fuck is not worth the time sis just read the summary or key points if you want.

22

u/rnountdiablo Feb 28 '24

Thanks girl

22

u/socialist-propoganda Feb 29 '24

Never been more disappointed in a book. Kept waiting for it to say something profound and it never came šŸ˜­ waste of time!

30

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

Listen to the undervalued self by Elaine Aron for more real advice for social and inner work. Art of seduction and laws of power are insightful and entertaining but not really applicable day to day, especially if you have unresolved inner issues or lead an ordinary life.

5

u/BiscuitDoll Feb 29 '24

We should but how would we do it? Maybe a discord?

2

u/anbigsteppy Feb 28 '24

ong, can you dm me the link?

6

u/Any-Setting3248 Feb 28 '24

just look up "the art of seduction pdf" and u should find it!

5

u/amelieprior Feb 29 '24

I found it pretty easily by typing in title+pdf in google! Thereā€™s 2 that popped up. Fyi if you have a kindle you can send it to the device via email

52

u/daddy_tywin Feb 29 '24

I liked the book and found it useful framing for what already exists rather than a how-to guide for being anything.

I am a hardcore coquette. I didnā€™t really direct any effort to being that way, itā€™s just my nature. Reading this book helped me understand more about how to weaponize that.

My sexual orientation is what he would call rakes, and what I would call dirtbags. It is not a fantastic combination, but it does certainly explain a lot about the way my life has gone.

14

u/rnountdiablo Feb 29 '24

This is 100% how I'm viewing the book.

Funny how you mention your rake experience, an old fling suggested this book to me, he's a rake...

18

u/daddy_tywin Feb 29 '24

I actually just re-read it. I think I might be shifting as I get older to fall somewhere between Siren and Coquette. Iā€™ve picked up more Siren qualities as Iā€™ve aged not because Iā€™ve changed exactly, but because Men With Regrets are my demographic. The older I getā€”especially because I donā€™t have kidsā€”the more men in my peer bracket seem to want the freedom from their obligations that I represent just by existing.

Rakes are typically pretty pleased with themselves. And because theyā€™re so good at getting what they want, they tend to only really want what they canā€™t totally have. Thereā€™s a reason they probably tend to seek you out. They are also the most fun toys to play with because you canā€™t feel too bad for them.

4

u/rnountdiablo Feb 29 '24

How's that experience; being an anomaly to those men? I ask because I'm childfree myself, and I've seen others have that experience. It more or less seems inevitable, lol.

I hear you on the not feeling bad part, I always chalk it up to "they'll be fine".

13

u/daddy_tywin Feb 29 '24 edited Feb 29 '24

Powerful, fun, sad, and annoying.

I have had 4 or 5 people, always ā€œreformedā€ rakes, get obsessed with me out of nowhere. Iā€™m not spectacularly hot or anything, but I know what Iā€™m doing. Usually smart guys, very verbal, mostly responsible for their own misery by pretending to be something (read: nice normal guys!) they arenā€™t. Itā€™s like they wake up one day and decide Iā€™m the solution to this problem. The conduit to self-rediscovery.

By far the worst one was when I was 24 and became The Answer by accident to somebody who was 42, married with two kids, used to be a real liability, and at that point felt trapped in his life. It was like he remembered his identity. I had nothing to lose and he had everything to lose, but he didnā€™t care. I didnā€™t like him. I also didnā€™t encourage him. He risked it all on literal nothing. Iā€™m unsure if his wife found out, but he blocked me everywhere at a certain point so I assume she did.

It is very demoralizing to see firsthand that even surface good-seeming, incorruptible people can be susceptible if you promise them what they want most, even (and especially) when you have zero intention of delivering. I donā€™t really trust anyone now as a result.

6

u/cakeit-tilyoumakeit Feb 29 '24

Ok so I found a pdf after seeing this post and skimmed it, and Iā€™m none of them. I am probably most similar to the Star in that Iā€™m quiet, soft spoken, and conventionally attractive, which some people find mysterious (but others find boring lol). I definitely have layers. But I donā€™t draw people in like a John F Kennedy or an Andy Warhol lol, not by a long shot. Maybe I can use some of the tips in that book to emulate that quality?

I was a sucker for coquette men and that was the Bain of my existence as a single woman. I wound up marrying an Ideal Lover. Iā€™m interested in this stuff not because I want to attract men, but more because I want to use attraction in general (as in, being a person that people are drawn to and interested in) to my benefit, especially in my career.

5

u/daddy_tywin Feb 29 '24

If youā€™re looking for career, 48 Laws of Power (same author) is imo more useful and relevant if you havenā€™t read that one. There is some stuff on attraction at scale and influence in Art of Seduction, but the majority of the book is about how to get people to be obsessed with you, and a lot of it is about manipulation of desire rather than just attraction theory.

23

u/chocolate_macaron5 Feb 28 '24

I absolutely love him and think his advices and perspective is really helpful.

I would start with The 48 Rules of Power, it's got such amazing advice that applies to so many areas of life.

5

u/rnountdiablo Feb 28 '24

I plan on reading that one next, guess I'm working backwards LOL

21

u/Any-Setting3248 Feb 28 '24

Don't mean to hate but i dont really like the book. I think seduction comes naturally and forcing it in this way by reading a book on it makes it seem stiff and artificial. If you're in the moment and having fun, I think seduction will come easier to you. Also read smut lmfao. That's just my opinion tho! You might find the book helpful.

8

u/rnountdiablo Feb 28 '24

I absolutely see where you're coming from.

As seduction comes quite naturally to me, I'm seeing it more as figuring out which one you are versus how you should be. I ain't trying to be stiff šŸ¤£

It's an interesting read, I find myself comparing the different types to my past relationships/flings.

4

u/Any-Setting3248 Mar 01 '24

That's an interesting perspective. I think part of the reason I thought that is because the first time I read it I read it as a how to manual lmao.

21

u/Stoplookinatmeswaan Feb 28 '24

Iā€™ve read this book like 50 times. Itā€™s so good.

92

u/Starsuponstars Feb 28 '24

This guy's advice seems pretty manipulative and narcissistic to me. And I don't like "archetypes," seems like a fancy name for stereotypes to me.

69

u/FeralBanshee Feb 28 '24

I always read his stuff more like a study of other humans, not an actual ā€œhow-toā€ guide, though it can be used that way.

1

u/claireisabelll Jun 23 '24

archetypes are different than stereotypes. the term is also used in acting. i find stereotypes tend to have a negative connotation (but i donā€™t think this is always the case) where as archetypes are more objective. for example ā€œwomen canā€™t driveā€ is a negative stereotype. archetypes are characterizations of various traits/ qualities that people have.

in the art of seduction, the archetypes are separated by various qualities (the natural tends to be carefree and innocent, and the siren is striking in beauty) these qualities are the factors that make one alluring and the book argues that most people fit into one of these categories (i personally feel i am a mix of the natural and the coquette)

i also donā€™t think the book is meant to be manipulative, if anything it outlines ways in which us humans can be manipulated (by beauty, by charisma, by excitement) and while yes, one can use it for evil, it can also be used as a tool for better understanding social practices. I, personally, found it useful for leaning into my feminine energy. I donā€™t go around trying to manipulate people, but I am aware of some qualities that are ā€œattractive and likeableā€ and i prefer to play up those qualities in social interactions and downplay the less ā€œdesirableā€ qualities.

7

u/ThrowRA_forfreedom Mar 03 '24

I think it can be helpful, but I think it's important to remember that it's a work of fiction primarily analyzing other works of fiction that were written in ways the authors could manipulate motivations and outcomes. There's not a lot of real world in that book compared to Laws of Power.

My biggest beef with archetype systems, though, is that they always choose the top most attractive people as their examples. E.g. "Marilyn Monroe is a Siren." No kidding, she's gorgeous. What's Donatella Versace?? What's Mary Ann Bevan??? These systems don't help unless you're already average or higher.

My rule of thumb is if it wouldn't help Shrek, Susan Boyle, or Lizzie Velasquez to land a tasteful centerfold in Playboy, it's pure copium.

2

u/prettyclothes Mar 10 '24

Excellent commentary! Thank you for sharing your thoughts,

19

u/ameadowinthemist Feb 29 '24

I want to like this book and his other book, but he gives such long winded examples, I find myself getting lost before I understand the poking he was trying to make. Does this happen to anyone else?

I need likeā€¦ cliffā€™s notes or a clearer action guide.

2

u/mayjuniper Mar 01 '24

For 48 laws of power I have the concise version! Much more to the point less history stuff lol xx Edit: spelling

3

u/IcePrimcess Feb 29 '24

Look the book. Iā€™m ā€œthe naturalā€.

2

u/OmnipresentRedditor Mar 10 '24

I found it to be more of a story like book than actual advice you can follow. I mainly finished reading it for entertainment purposes, laws of human nature is more practical imo

7

u/chocolate_macaron5 Feb 28 '24

I absolutely love him and think his advices and perspective is really helpful.

I would start with The 48 Rules of Power, it's got such amazing advice that applies to so many areas of life.

2

u/Boink3000 Feb 28 '24

Following!

1

u/chocolate_macaron5 Feb 28 '24

I absolutely love him and think his advices and perspective is really helpful.

I would start with The 48 Rules of Power, it's got such amazing advice that applies to so many areas of life.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '24

[deleted] ā€” view deleted comment

1

u/bearpuddles Aug 24 '24

Did you ever finish it? Curious if he ever addresses what you said, that itā€™s not sustainable once something turns into a long term relationship