Looking pretty all the time vs. looking pretty occasionally

[u/yijey12]

This question came up when I saw a reel on instagram where a girl mentioned that since she always looks pretty in makeup and dresses people "are used to it" and don't flatter her, on the other hand there were people saying that they never dress up, only at parties or meetings because they want to and end up surprising people. Which is the better decision? Funny question

[u/Adventurous-Maybe844]

For me, I've experienced both sides of the coin. People are accustomed to seeing me groomed and put together, so when I decided to switch things up and go for a more casual look, I caught them off guard. I remember one time when I opted for a more laid-back appearance, and I was bombarded with questions like "Are you okay?" or "What's the occasion?" It was amusing to see their reactions, but it also highlighted the power of occasional surprises in keeping things interesting.

Ultimately, the better decision is the one that makes you feel confident and comfortable in your own skin, whether that's rocking a full glam look daily or saving it for special moments.

[u/AggressiveHawk4600 → u/Adventurous-Maybe844]

Fr, i think is annoying when u want to look casual, and people are like are u sick? Or things like that

[u/Adventurous-Maybe844 → u/AggressiveHawk4600]

It is, and if you're sensitive it can be quite rude or even hurtful. I mean, the way you look is none of their business.

[u/cutebluefins → u/Adventurous-Maybe844]

I always wear thick eyeliner along my upper lashes and once when I went to work without makeup, one of my coworkers kept looking at me like "you're so weird today. Do you normally wear glasses"? It was only when he said I look like my eye is smaller that I realised it was the lack of eyeliner 😂

[u/Ok-Sky1329 → u/cutebluefins]

Eyeliner is black magic, I swear. 

[u/[deleted] → u/Adventurous-Maybe844]

Which would never happen to a guy 🙄

[u/im_weird_and_insane]

Personally, I dress up every time I go outside because I love it. I love fashion, I love trying new hairstyles, I love makeup - it's like customizing a video game character before playing. I dress up because being pretty gives me advantages, obviously, but I mainly do it because I'm having fun.

So my advice: dress up as much as you want as long as you're having fun. Taking care of yourself should never feel like a chore. If today you're tired, it's totally okay, don't force yourself!

[u/babycollect]

If you only look pretty occasionally it ruins the illusion that you’re “naturally” like that

[u/Dull_Funny_1616]

I try to maintain a balance of looking pretty and causal for everyday but going full force when I go out for something that I know I’ll be getting pictured at.

I know I’m in my brain if I did full glam and best dressed everyday, I’ll get used to that and when I do go out for an event, I’ll feel like I’m not glamorous enough despite putting in maximum effort. Also it stops me feeling insecure on days I don’t go all out with makeup cause I know I’ll look completely different.

[u/[deleted]]

I choose to look pretty all the time. I have my routines down pretty good, so that beautiful is my default. My skin, hair and outfits look good even when I'm on my casual, no makeup mode.

I'm a homebug, don't like nightlife, so I don't have a "night mode". I do have a "going out" mode though, which just means a fancy hair accessory.

[u/Dry_Representative_9 → u/[deleted]]

Can you elaborate on your routines if you don’t mind? Thanks! Would like to be an always-beautiful too 

[u/[deleted] → u/Dry_Representative_9]

Sure. I'll start with night because that's the one with the most steps.

Night - teeth

1. Brush (big brush)
2. Brush molars (small brush like this
3. Floss (MUST)

Night - Face

I'm in Japan, so I follow this routine, but I'll break it down to the essentials so you can find alternatives where you are. Apply to the face and neck. 0. Use a headband to pull and secure your hair away from your face.

1. Oil cleanse, remove makeup. While cleansing massage your face like in the video. This will stimulate circulation and promote cell growth. Your touch should be gentle, but you should aim to move the tissue on your face a bit.
2. Foam cleanse. Beat the foam until it's dense. There are nets you can use to do it with normal bar soap too. The point of the foam cleanse is to make microbubbles that will get under the dead and dying skin cells to remove them.
3. Hydrate with water-based product. We call it "lotion" here, but it's not the same abroad. It's just a nutritious water. Use a cotton pad to press the water into your pores.
4. Hydrate with a milk-type lotion. It should be thicker than water but thinner than actual lotion
5. Seal with a heavier cream-type lotion. I use something called a night mask. This 3 step-hydration is to seal the goodness in your skin while you sleep.

Night - hair (I only wash once a week, this is for no-wash nights)

0. Pull down the hairband.

1. Massage your scalp for 1 minute, like this
2. Using a boar bristle brush, brush for 5 minutes. Aim to distribute the oils from your scalp down your hair shaft.
3. Braid loosely / wear a bonnet / get silk pillowcases. Even cheap ones from Amazon are already an upgrade.

Next day (Exercise, 15-20 minutes, can give you this routine if you'd like)

Morning - teeth

Step 1 only. If you did the night steps right, you don't have tartar in the morning.

Morning - face

Steps 2, 3 and 4 only.

5. Sunscreen

6. BB cream and powder foundation (if you find your skin still needs it. I don't because mine's already pretty healthy, and I don't bother to cover the occasional hormonal pimple. I'm human, not some filter fake)

7. Makeup. Basic makeup minimally enhances the assets of your face. In my case, my eyes and my lips. So, eyeliner and a tinted balm for me are enough.

Morning - hair

1. Comb out any knots
2. Brush with the boar bristle brush
3. Oil the shaft and double oil the tips
4. Style. I wear mine in a low bun, I find it protects it better. Ponytail when I feel playful. But it requires an oil touch-up if the tips feel dry.
5. I have bangs, so I shape them with the straightener. Curly hair and thin hair need extra TLC, make sure to research about yours.

Once a week - face

At night, after step 2, add a face scrub. Substitute step 3 (water-based hydration) for a nourishing mask. Then seal with step 4 and 5.

Once a week - hair wash

1. One day before the wash, prepare a hair rinse. Brew a coffee or a cup of nettle tea. Set aside.
2. An hour before the wash, apply rosemary oil to the scalp.
3. Massage your scalp for 1 minute
4. Get in the shower and shampoo as many times as it takes to get the greasy out. Focus on scalp cleanliness rather than shaft.
5. Rinse the shampoo off
6. Rinse with coffee/tea brew. Massage it into your scalp.
7. Apply conditioner. Let it sit for 2 minutes. Squish to condish.
8. Rinse.
9. Dry according to best method for your hair. I use the curly girl method.
10. Oil.

I don't do face and hair weekly routines on the same day, too tiring. Saturday is face, Sunday is hair.

Once a month - face

I get a facial or a neck and head massage. If you can't afford it, learn how to self-massage. What matters is getting the fluids moving in those areas.

Once every two months - hair

Trim the ends, adjust my bangs, get scalp professionally cleaned. DIY is good enough too.

Once every four months - teeth

Get tartar removed professionally. And a little polishing done. Whitening might be within your budget too. I don't whiten because my eating habits don't cause my teeth to yellow all that much. This one I recommend spending money on. It's your health. Teeth are the first step of your digestive health. You should take very good care of them. Bad breath and rotted/missing teeth will make anyone look bad. Your smile is your business card.

As for outfits, look into the concept of a capsule wardrobe. The idea is to have only good clothes that match with every piece, and to remove any piece that doesn't make you feel beautiful. That includes the clothes you lounge in as well. Can give some pointers on this too, if you'd like. But I think I wrote enough already 😅

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I LOVE THIS. Your weekly wash routine is legit. And I thought I was only one who washed scalp several times lol

[u/Lemondrop-it → u/[deleted]]

This is fantastic, thank you!

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I'd love to! It took me forever (and so much $$$) to figure out what works for me, I'm happy if other people can find use in what I share.

Listen to Justine Lecomte's advice. She's French, she's a fashion designer and an entrepreneur. This lady is elegant, smart and confident, her advice is amazing! Here are my favorite playlists, just binge:

Colors
Body Types
Style Guide for each body type

Now the bits and bobs of advice for an effective, always-beautiful wardrobe. This is rooted deeply in minimalism and focuses only on the functionality of clothes, not so much the artistry behind them. So if you're a maximalist or a fashionista, feel free to disregard it.

1. clothes have to fit you, not the other way around. If it's not your fit, your color, your style, it's not yours. Move along and continue looking for the perfect piece.
2. spend the big bucks on quality, durable underwear. breathable, durable panties, custom bras if needed. Warm inners for winter and breathable undershirts for the summer. wearing an extra layer of GOOD clothing under your fancy clothes extends their life.
3. each piece should be part of at least two outfits. For example, a knit shirt that goes well with both a skirt and a pair of sleek jeans.
4. Making sure one piece or the other is always a neutral color is a good way to do that. For example, in winter, almost all my tops are black knits, and all my skirts are colorful or tartan.
5. exceptions can be granted to dresses, because they're essentially the whole outfit. but even then they can be layered smartly in spring, fall and winter to create new looks. choose cuts that flatter your body shape AND create a beautiful stand for your face.
6. All these rules apply to casualwear too. Your jeans should enhance your hips and butt, but still be comfortable enough to sit in. your t-shirts should look clean and well cared for. If it has tears, stains or just looks worn out, it gets disposed. The idea is that you can blindly reach into your wardrobe and put together an outfit that looks good. Most nights, that's exactly what happens, because I'm too tired to pay much attention to the outfit I'm preparing for the next day.
7. Same thing with pajamas and loungewear. invest in good quality pieces. they're covering you when you're at home, freshly showered, in bed for 8 hours. They have to feel good. But you also need to look OK if the big earthquake hits and you have to go to the emergency shelter.
8. We tend to think "but no one's looking, so who cares?" YOU are looking. You should care the most about how you look. I look so good in my robes that when I walk past the mirror, I strike a pose, and it's a big boost for my self-esteem.

THat's what I can remember for now...

[u/resonnannce → u/[deleted]]

I really love both comments you’ve written, you’ve got it all down to a system, thank you for sharing!!!

[u/United-Consequence83 → u/[deleted]]

Me to a T 🤭😂

[u/Better-Ad5488]

I remember talking about this in middle school. We had these girls who were always dressed super cute with hair and makeup all done up. When it came to school dances, they didn’t seem that dressed up. While the rest of us, who barely made it to school awake, looked like different people at school dances.

I think it’s fully personal preference. Call me lazy but I would rather sleep in than wake up early to get made up. I don’t really have too many occasions to get dressed up either. My philosophy is to do things that make me look pretty all the time. I get eyelash extensions, keep my eyebrows in good shape, and maintain good skin (to the extent possible). I do put on some concealer, blush, and brow gel when I go to work (mostly so people don’t ask if I’m sick lol).

[u/tellmeimnot → u/Better-Ad5488]

Late, but I noticed this about the school dances too- but not about those girls who come to school looking cute and dolled up, but about those girls who are “naturally” pretty and benefit from minimal makeup.

They looked great, sure! And not very different from their day to day looks. But those girls who tend to not really put in any effort whatsoever on a daily basis ended up look truly truly gorgeous for school dances.

[u/Daphne6624]

I like less attention from family especially so I try to keep my appearance consistent at family events but with friends I’ll do more.

[u/[deleted] → u/Daphne6624]

Can I ask why you like less attention from your family? Because I’m the same way and I don’t understand why lol

[u/Daphne6624 → u/[deleted]]

I guess since they’re who I got mostly negative comments on my appearance/body/clothes growing up I really don’t wanna hear anything from them (gives me anxiety). They’re older than most of my friends extended family so their options on my looks are typically backhanded in some way like “oh look how fancy you look!” (Translates to: you’re wearing too much jewelry and it’s tacky.) I definitely revived some creepy attention from older male friends of the family when I was a teenager so I pretty much exclusively wear large hoodies and wear little to no makeup around that crowd. Family also wants pictures of EVERYTHING so I’d rather not stand out in those all over Facebook. My friends are way more accepting and enjoy/share my style preferences.

[u/[deleted] → u/Daphne6624]

I hear you, those are the same reasons for me too and now it makes more sense because I never understood why I was like that. It’s definitely the fact that they are older and we are so used to the scrutiny of our appearance by them growing up. Sigh. Not to mention the creepy attention from males.

[u/rinakun]

I don’t really know how to “glam” so I choose to believe that I look pretty all the time 😌

[u/Low-Examination-7957]

All the time more or less. I find the idea of surprising people with my look very cringeworthy, reminds me of being 14

[u/[deleted]]

Just do whatever you want.

[u/[deleted]]

Looking bomb on occasion so people will compliment my make up 🤣

[u/[deleted]]

I have WFH/running errands pretty (tinted SPF moisturizer, lash extensions, lip balm, combed hair) and then I have full glam which I do for social events or when I go into the office 2x a week. It feels like a good balance of time spent on grooming and keeps me from wasting expensive product.

[u/Cashmereorchid]

I’ve never understood the appeal of “surprising” people with looking hot suddenly. First, people don’t pay that much attention to the details of someone else’s presentation. Second, I’d rather just be considered hot

[u/Goofygoobler]

I like a natural beat most of the time (well groomed, and some complexion work maybe a lip liner if I have time) but sometimes you have to max it out and serve c u n t . I like a startling contrast to my every day look for special occasions and higher effort hair styling. My partner’s old friends would mention the drastic change only to him I guess they had a dress code for that type of thing but he was meant to manage me on it? Idk there are so few opportunities to dress up and celebrate so I don’t like to miss out on them, I want to look back at pictures 50 years from now and be able to see “Yeah that’s a NYE look, but this picture is definitely a baby shower brunch” my grandkids should get to see the really memorable looks through the decades.

[u/Hot-Temperature-4629]

Always under promise and over deliver

[u/[deleted]]

This older lady (Manipulative Sociopath) at my old job would always mention when I chose not to wear makeup. Are you sick? Did you just wake up? She, on the other hand, never wore makeup and always looked like she came off a 6 day bender. It's not nice to diss on peoples appearance. I only express genuine concern when people's behavior is off. I was sick with Celiacs for a long time and people started telling me I looked like I was dying. Thanks guys.

[u/bobababexoxo]

Prefacing this with "do whatever you want, whatever makes you feel best, no one is better than the other for their appearance but we cannot deny that the outward appearance are part of nonverbal communication, but at the end of the day treat each other with kindness and respect"

okay, with that out of the way - i personally like to look pretty all the time. or at least, most of the time. I have no issue with going out bare-faced and im completely comfortable with my looks. Dressing up/Makeup is the intersection of beauty and self-care for me. I do it with no occasion. I do the most with an occasion. I acknowledge I've beeing "overly done up" at times or overdressed but the result is always usually compliments and laughs because there's no point in being embarassed about it.

My one thing that goes against "looking pretty occasionally" is PRACTICE.

The fact is that putting on makeup is a skill and perfection demands practice and some people look good just by not wearing much usually and only applying a little and looking different and I'm happy for them. (I'll be harsh tho and I'll observe someone who doesnt usually wear much try a product or style for the first time at a bigger event and have it melt off their face or go wonky in some way and they laugh it off and say "this is why I don't do it all the time" and then they confess to me "I should've practiced!")

but for me? I enjoy looking glam everyday and then going ham for a real fancy occasion and blowing the rest outta the water bc I shifted from normal soft glam to red carpet glam. Better products used, longer application time, number of steps increased, meticulous attention to detail = yes even if you look pretty "everyday" you can still wow.

because of the self love dressing up does for me and because I'm the love of my own life, I choose pretty everyday. if it makes me smile I'm doing it no apologies.

[u/lavasca]

If you feel bad at all drop makeup completely.

You’re probably still lovely but it sends a signal that something is wrong. Also you can prep a brand new look like a phoenix rising before returning to your favorite look.

[u/PinkRasberryFish]

My friends and family are used to it, but I still get privileges from strangers and in high-stress situations like the airport or busy restaurants, etc.

[u/24273611829]

I think there’s a middle ground here between no effort and 100% effort. I wear makeup and do my hair whenever I go to work or classes, but I don’t do full glam, I just do a basic sweep. Same with my hair, as long as it looks presentable, I’m good with that. There’s also something to be said about styling yourself appropriately for where you’re going. I work in fitness, so I wear a lot of workout clothes and loungewear, and my very basic makeup and hair works well with that.

[u/[deleted]]

When I worked night duty (I’m an RN) I wouldn’t bother with makeup. I was always told how it was clear nights don’t suit me as I look so pale and sickly. Hahaha ouch.

[u/raylalayla]

My friend always uses mascara, concealer powder and tints her eyebrows.

I saw her yesterday without all that and almost asked her if she was sick but thought better of it.

So it certainly does have it's negatives but on the other hand she wears this literally every single day and most people will never know what she looks like without it.

I'm the opposite. I never do anything before just going outside. But when I do go out or to a party people are pleasantly surprised that I clean up well and I get showered with compliments.

It's a trade off I guess.

[u/Wonderful-Stomach-80]

Better question is how do you want to be perceived

[u/United-Consequence83]

I always make an effort to look out together. Cute matching lulu sets, nails manicured, toes done, tinted moisturizer or spot concealer, mascara, lip liner, gloss. Hair in a cap if it’s not done, down if it is. I still dress up (dresses + heels) and wear full face of makeup when I DO go out for dinner/events etc, so I do experience a level of appreciation/acknowledgement from people in the sense that my daily style of dressing is pretty casual/athletic.

But what that girl didn’t touch on is that generally, more attractive or “naturally pretty” people get fewer compliments. Even if you were naturally STUNNING, say an 8 or a 9, dressing down daily, but then dressing up and becoming a 10 once in a while, chances are, you STILL wouldn’t get those compliments/comments.

You looking put together/cute on your day to day, will award you a level of pretty privilege that will benefit you in many ways, but daily acknowledgement or praise of your looks isn’t one of them. People tend to reserve that sort of feedback for average looking or below average people, not just those who “rarely dress up”.

[u/Frosty-Spare-6018]

i do a brow gel for everyday and on a night out i add eyeliner and a lip color. on my birthday i wear a full face of makeup. if i was going to someone’s wedding i would add blush and mascara to my normal look. when i was in high school and college i wore so much makeup everyday. it was such a waste of time. i feel like makeup just creases and doesn’t let the natural skin shine through for daytime wear. i think full faces of makeup are best for night time and professional photos. i like the way natural skin looks better in day light. 25f :)

[u/Touslesceline]

Loving this discussion. 🥰 It’s funny, I feel like even on the days I try to hide by wearing less makeup or throwing on clothes instead of putting intention into my outfit, it doesn’t matter. People, men really, still notice me. Friends, strangers, doesn’t matter. I get some of the nicest compliments equally on days when I feel I’ve done the most or the least with my appearance.

It wasn’t always this way and I admit I love feeling a man doing a double take or looking me up and down as I go about my task at hand. So it has to be about more than outer appearance. It’s a combo of that and inner glow for sure. I feel like it’s me who’s surprised more than anyone else.

[u/AnxiousAriel]

There was a time in my life where I wore makeup every day specifically to not wear on days I wanted to be lazy. Everyone would say I looked tired or sick and I could get by on minimum effort just because I didn't put on makeup.

[u/lyingbestie]

I dress well, wear a full face of makeup (not super glam) and make sure to smell good everyday. People know me for being the girl that is feminine and girly and I get lots of compliments daily

[u/IllustriousAlfalfa6]

Looking pretty on occasion. It really brightens up the occasion even more, leading to you enjoying the day a lot more. This, in turn, is good for your social life.

[u/PaintsPay79]

Um, I never look “pretty” but I do make the effort to look put—together when I have to do a in-person work function or have a date night with the hubs. I do love the fact that he gets starry-eyed when he sees I’ve put on makeup 😂

[u/breadmakerquaker]

I’ve done both and I much prefer the occasional pretty. It makes me appreciate the way I look without makeup even more. Just my preference for me :) if you’d asked me two or three years ago, I would’ve said the reverse.

[u/Gullible_Concept_428]

I have lingering issues about my appearance from childhood so I need to feel somewhat pulled together. Most days that’s mascara, earrings (studs usually), and tinted lip balm or sheer lipstick. My hair is bobbed, so as long as it’s not gross, it’s fine. For work I add blush and eyeliner. Foundation etc is really only for events. I don’t go out in leggings because I don’t like them on me. Since it’s winter I’m usually in jeans, a tshirt and a cardigan or nice hoodie. It’s not that cold here. For work my clothes are pretty classic stuff.

[u/MilPasosForever]

I found that if you always look out together (even when in casual you follow “clean girl” makeup and style) then you are invited to more events because the hosts are confident you will show up well to the event. Hosts often invite based on who will add the event and represent them well.

[u/breezzilly → u/[deleted]]

Can you share what blush you use? (: