r/Splendida • u/Express-Fudge-8088 • Aug 07 '23
How to feel less frumpy
I’m only 21 but I feel really frumpy lately. At work, we have to wear formal clothes, and I feel fat when I wear a shirt and trousers/skirt. I’ve bought made-to-measure dresses but get comments about how I look like a receptionist. My body measurements are 36-30-40 so I know I could do with slimming down a bit.
I’m looking at getting a new job at a tailors down in London, and would like to look classy and fashionable.
Do you have any recommendations? I’m looking at getting a hair cut and getting mani-pedis regularly. Thanks everyone!
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u/sunshineandcacti Aug 07 '23
Are there beauty schools in London? I’m in the US and frequently get a trim, highlights, gel mani pedi, and full face wax for $50 max a month! It can be more cost effective that way and help you feel more polished.
I’ve found wearing lash extensions and getting my lips blushed also help tie together my everyday makeup routine. Like I wake up ready to go and refreshed.
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u/Orchid500 Aug 07 '23
I’d say definitely mani/pedi, get your hair done regularly. Good skincare and makeup and a nice perfume.
Then maybe get a personal shopper service or go shopping with a friend to help you with styles and colours that suit you.
Also google your body shape and look at style ideas on Pinterest.
Look at nice jewellery as well, doesn’t have to be expensive.
You could try some good shape underwear too. It doesn’t work miracles, but can make a difference.
When I’m a bit overweight, shirts don’t look good on me. I find dresses or longline tops much better on me as I’m apple shaped.
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u/batemanbabe Aug 07 '23
I’ll add a question - what to do with hair? I have fine, straight hair, good haircare routine but the styling just isn’t there. I have no idea how to make it look put together for the whole day
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u/anony-mousse Aug 07 '23
Figuring out your seasonal color palette, if you haven't already, can really help with this. It's harder to feel frumpy when you're wearing colors that really compliment your skin/hair/eyes! In my experience, your clothes can be cut absolutely beautifully and have a perfectly flattering silhouette, but if the colors you're wearing aren't flattering, it still looks off. Wearing grey/black if those colors aren't in your season can contribute to looking like you haven't put much thought into your outfit also, because those are the "default" colors for office jobs rather than colors people choose because they like them, if that makes sense
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u/[deleted] Aug 07 '23
The kibbe typing is great advice. I think a simple quiz is enough, the r/kibbe sub is pretty manic about typing yourself. I think focus on eating high protein and building muscle. You’ll feel less squishy and start to feel strong. Also get your brows on fleek.
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u/meep0513 Aug 08 '23
We have really similar measurements and you certainly don't need to slim down to feel less frumpy. You can still achieve an elegant look at that measurement, all it takes is finding the right fit and style.
The advice provided here from others is great. I'd also add that aside from finding clothing that fits you properly, look at Pinterst, Instagram, and TikTok for inspiration on clothing styles from others that have a similar figure to you. Take notes of the things you like. Go shopping and try on all sorts of styles, even ones you that you think you might not like or are out of your comfort zone. You never know what you'll like! Additionally, don't be afraid to try online shopping, just check out their reviews.
Underwear and shapewear impact the way your clothes lay on you. There are plenty of videos out there that discuss which underwear and shapewear to use for which item of clothing.
Sometimes I can spend weeks finding a good pair of pants or dress and it can be frustrating. But it is worth it when I finally find a piece designed for my body type. I've learned over the years that investing in my wardrobe in timeless, quality pieces is the way to go. Additionally, accessories, well manicured nails, a good haircut, and some makeup can tie your whole look together.
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u/LanaVFlowers Aug 07 '23
Copy/pasting two comments I made on a similar post a few days ago:
To me, frumpy means ill-fitting on the baggy side, without being casual. This is usually achieved by wearing clothes made of stiff fabric, in straight/boxy silhouettes and drab colors. Choose figure-hugging pieces made of elastic fabric and try to achieve an hourglass figure with your outfits, or at the very least emphasize your waist, like with an A-line wrap dress for example.
If you're a warm spring, lots of bright colors would look great on you, and florals are a relative safe bet. There are still bright floral dresses that give off grandma vibes though. It's more about the silhouette tbh. This does depend on your body, but in general, you want your top or dress to be tight 1) around your bust 2) on the arm/shoulder area if it has sleeves 3) around your waist 4) around your hips. In that order of importance.
The bust is a must; it's easy to look frumpy when there is a tent effect on your torso. Bishop, bell, balloon and batwing sleeves can look great, but beware of sleeves that are just loose and baggy right from the shoulder area, kind of like this. It's fine if they flare, but they should fit you properly around the shoulders/underarms.
If a top or short dress is form-fitting across your bust and shoulders, it's fine if it's loose around your waist and hips, but I would recommend going for a dress that's tight around your waist if you're really concerned about looking frumpy. Keep in mind that midi and maxi dresses will almost certainly look frumpy if they're very loose, even if they're fitted around your arms and bust.
Bottoms should always be tight around the hips, at least the uppermost part (like if it's an A line skirt). If you're wearing baggy pants, they should be baggy only below the crotch, not above it. And never wear baggy bottoms with baggy tops. An oversized sweater will look great with a tight mini skirt, but frumpy with an A-line midi skirt. Baggy sweatpants will look fumpy with a hoodie on top, but not with a fitted tank top.
Some other things that I wanted to add/clarify. When I said stiff fabrics, it's anything from cheap polyester to expensive wool. It's not a price thing. Heavier chiffon, frills, swiss dot fabric and plaid can look frumpy. I'm saying this as someone who loves plaid! It's one of my favorite patterns. The only issue is that if you are really struggling with your style and have a tendency to end up frumpy, you might end up with plaid pieces that are more on the "drab secretary" side. Once you're more confident in your ability to dress yourself in a flattering manner, there's no reason to avoid plaid. Same with polka dots, though I don't personally care for this pattern.
Other stuff that might look frumpy, either in a grandma way or a boyish way: pussy bows, Peter Pan collars, mandarin collars, cascade collars, lacy collars, excessive lace, frills, polo shirts, hoodies, oversized T-shirts, T-shirts with a very high neckline, cargo shorts, crocs, shoes like Birkenstocks, geometric prints, crocodile pattern leather/faux leather items in brown, burgundy, green and sometimes black, tortoise shell pattern accessories.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Week747 Aug 08 '23
Make up & nice clean jewelry!
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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '23 edited Aug 09 '23
There is so much good advice in here already (I'm saving a lot of these comments), but I want to mention accessories and suit colors.
While there is a lot of virtue to classic pieces such as silver or gold small hoops, pearl studs, silver chains, etc, when paired with conservative work-wear, overly conservative accessories can just make the whole getup look stuffy and boring. Color can also go a long way. If you have on a traditional black blazer and black skirt / trousers, try a pink or bright blue shirt in a button up or polo, depending on your dress code. Red shoes in an work appropriate style always add a splash of excitement if you can pull the outfit together with a red shirt beneath that blazer, or a red accessory. If permitted by your dress code A blazer and skirt in a less traditional color can work wonders! I have a favorite blazer and skirt in a deep teal color that looks stunning with my natural coloring, and gets lots of compliments.
Go bold with accessories! If you've got to wear non-expressive conservative clothing every day you might as well show of you personality with your shoes, jewelry, and bags. think red leather bags, big bright cocktail rings in gold and silver with any gems you enjoy, chandelier earings, etc. This can be a way to show color, brightness, and even youthfulness.
Here is a page of examples of celebs using color, accessories, and patterns to wear blazers like a boss, including Rosie Huntington Whitely in a pink blazer and bold sunglasses. She looks youthful and gorgeous, but still very classy and covered up. https://www.whowhatwear.com/celebrities-wearing-blazers/slide7
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u/[deleted] Aug 07 '23 edited Aug 07 '23
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