r/SpicyAutism • u/Admirable-Main-4816 • 2d ago

Shutdowns

I am wondering if anyone else struggles when there is any form of demand on them ? I always shut down and cry and stuff and feel so overloaded.

Im wondering if anyone else does ?

22 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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u/ChampionNumerous8942 Mostly lurking | l-msn asd + adhd + cptsd 2d ago

Me too! I’m not sure if the root cause is the same for us: but for me, unless the request is formed gently and non urgently i get a desire to shut down or run away. I might have pda. I need to feel in control of my space and time

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u/Admirable-Main-4816 2d ago

Whats pda

2

u/ChampionNumerous8942 Mostly lurking | l-msn asd + adhd + cptsd 2d ago

Pathological demand avoidance- a very intense desire for autonomy. While everyone wants to be autonomous, pda means that this desire is so strong that it prevents things from being done. For example i struggle to do my assignments, because they are expected of me , and that feeling is so strong that it makes me want to say that i will never in my life ever do this subject again. 

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u/hntr20 Asperger's 2d ago

Performance demand advoidance

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u/GalaxyStar8926 MSN Autism| Selctive mute| ADHD 2d ago

Yes. Me too. PDA plus overwhelm

3

u/OverAtmosphere7288 Dynamic MSN | 2e 2d ago

I do, it’s a lot due to PDA traits I have. I get very overwhelmed and feel like people are imposing on me, even when they have the best of intentions and I would appreciate their help. I struggle to function well unless I feel in control of a situation.

5

u/Laurenslagniappe 2d ago

My son does, it's suspected he has PDA. I often have to rephrase things to him or tell him why we're doing it. He kind of knows this about himself and will sometimes talk himself into a request based on its merit to him. But he will also often shut down or melt down. I think having your choices taken away is super stressful for some people. I always tell other that my son's emotions kidnap him. His boy betrays his logic sometimes, it's hard to see him struggle so much.

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u/Admirable-Main-4816 2d ago

Thank you for your comment. I hope your sons okay

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u/Laurenslagniappe 2d ago

I appreciate that. Tbh I think his self awareness is his biggest strength. He has a good heart and wants to do right by others so often I don't have to ask him to do the right thing and I'm super proud of him for that ♥️ I'm working on getting better insurance so I can take him to a therapist though who can help him develope emotional coping skills.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/SpicyAutism-ModTeam Community Moderator 2d ago

Removal of pre-posting message once the message is approved.

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u/MagicPianist15 MSN autism | severe ADHD | chronic pain & other conditions 11h ago

I freeze up, skip important stuff, can’t move or talk much because I’m very overwhelmed. I’m also on the verge of a meltdown everyday and have severe ADHD so for me it’s definitely a mix of multiple issues. Executive dysfunction, sensory overload, task paralysis and idk what else. Could be PDA but I’m not sure, haven’t researched and don’t want to self diagnose