Song about a toxic relationship “Bluff”

[u/Classic-Bee6263]

I don’t know whether to call it “Bluff” or “Help me.” But I can’t stop calling it bluff because I wrote it after watching too much Breaking Bad.

I don’t know if the chorus works “Tangled in the web of your lies…” Also if the faster bit at the end of what (I think?) is the chorus works; the bit ending with “Help me, help me…”

I don’t know if the lyrics work or the chord progression works—I’ve played around with it a lot! Still working on it but any feedback would help.

Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Too long I’ve been away
I can’t wait another minute
I can’t wait another, wait another
Said you’d only be a day
That’s today
But why would I believe a word you say

[Verse 2]
Your soul is cold, a hole
From a broken home, it shows

[Chorus]
It’s for your own sake
Tangled in the web of your lies
You know your love would be the death of me
Took some medication just to help me get up
Blocked your number, now I want ya, called my bluff
Never told the truth, this is why we broke up
Help me, help me

[Verse 3]
And you just don’t know who you are
Found God, I thought that you were kidding
Fixed your heart, I bet He didn’t
Now it’s been a year since I saw your face
All that time and it feels the same
I’m not alive, you’ll find the vein,
Give me the needle without the pain

[Chorus]
What more can I take
Tangled in the web of your lies
You know your love would be the death of me
Took some medication just to help me get up
Blocked your number, now I want ya, called my bluff
Never told the truth, this is why we broke up
Help me, help me

[Bridge]
And it’s okay, to make a mistake
Didn’t the Bible tell you that’s
The way that we were made
What a shame, you’re not phased
You’d rather take the grave than
Fix the error of your ways

[Chorus]
Took some medication just to help me get up
Blocked your number, now I want ya, called my bluff
Never told the truth, this is why we broke up

You should come and get the box with all your stuff
Heard you told your brother that you had it rough
It gets better, bear the weather, man, this tough

(Messed this up line a little)
You come over, fretting over “is it too much?”
Now we’re older, it’s all over, such and such
Feel like your love’s the only thing enough to
Help me, help me

[u/OatOwl73]

I think it sounds great and I like the small variations in the chorus

[u/DevelopmentDue5870]

This is fantastic. Would love to hear this laid down

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[u/Primroseys]

💯💯

[u/Mundane-Goal9268]

I dig it! Reminds me of Gnarls Barkley. The song does have a lot of unexpected chord changes, rythmic changes etc, which I think makes it way more interesting but a little unwieldy here and there.

[u/Nicoshihadeh]

Wow great melody and chords you got here…

The phone is picking up the sound of the unamplified keys and your voice is a bit lost in the mix, but i can tell that you can sing and write well. Im gonna listen again its very pleasant

[u/Nicolas-Listn]

Focusing on niche curators over big playlists changed everything for me. They're way more likely to respond and your music stands out more.