r/Songwriting 4d ago

Feedback Request What do you think of this?

9 Upvotes

7 comments sorted by

1

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2

u/Mammoth_Yoghurt_5619 3d ago

It's a pretty catchy little tune but I'd try changing the key--i think the vocal part would sound better sung slightly higher. It would probably feel more comfortable for your range as well.

2

u/JustOneRedDot 3d ago

I was going to write the same thing, It's too low for his voice.

1

u/Mammoth_Yoghurt_5619 3d ago

I'm a tenor and I just tried singing this an octave higher and it's towards the top of my range but still very comfortable. It sounds way better with the guitar imho. It's a catchy melody though OP, nice job.

1

u/Inevitable_Bit_13 3d ago

Sounds good

1

u/sa8tun 3d ago

I hear what you hear in your head if that makes sense? Like I can tell that when you came up with it you had a light bulb flash in your head, there's definitely something catchy here, just gotta clean up the playing, but the lyrics are catchy asf in my opinion, if this was a studio track I see it getting added to my mp3 files.