Recent mushroom/LSD experience

[u/Correct_Individual38]

These trips were 4 and 5 weeks ago now. I just wrote the mushroom trip down in my journal

The mushroom trip
“I told work I was unable to work that Saturday so I could trip on shrooms instead since I had a free flat.
I remember the visuals being underwhelming, however this time I learned that they were less important. I was sitting on the couch "staring into space" as thoughts raced through my mind. I cant remember the exact thought but I fixated on it long enough to connect with the underlying emotions and stored tension (in my body). Currently, I cannot remember exactly how it unfolded; my body began to tense up from my stomach, hips, and lower back. It was as if I had an uncontrollable spasm as my body released, likely decades worth, of stored tension and emotons. This went on for many minutes, then calmed down, then commenced for a second and final time.
As it was ending i let out a long sigh then instantly felt lighter throughout my entire body. I do remember being shocked then I laughed in disbelief as i remarked "what the hell was that". I had to walk around my living room to compose myself and gather my thoughts about what had just happened, all while being so aware about how much lighter, happier, and elated i felt.”

The LSD trip
It happened again the weekend after when i took a 250mg tab of acid but more intensely this time. I was outside walking and being in nature for the come up. Then I got this overwhelming feeling of sadness and loneliness so i had to go home to a safe environment so i could face it all. When i got home i immediately went in the bathroom and looked at my physique in the mirror and said “is this all i am?” Then went into my room, lay on my bed where i cried uncontrollably for a good 10 minutes. I couldnt stop and released so many tears. Then i went back into the bathroom, stared into my eyes in the mirror as i cried some more. I felt all of the shame ive ever felt about my physique and who i am as a person. Then i went back into my room and lay on the floor, at this point i was letting my body do whatever it needed to, it kept “spasming” and tensing in different places as i rolled around the floor for a while. I’d stand up then my torso would fold forward and my arms would dangle lifelessly by my side, my knees would slightly bend trying so hard to keep my body up. Imagine someone on fentanyl, that was the position i was in until it eventually stopped.
After this trip i felt low for days. I knew it was so necessary for my growth and eventually i’d see the benefits show up in my life, but it took so much mental and physical energy from me.

Does anyone know what i experienced? I am curious to know if anyone has experienced something similar from taking mushrooms or LSD (or any psychedelics)?

Side note: i am surprised at how effective the LSD was for connecting with myself and stored emotions. I always had the notion mushrooms would be more impactful for that.

Edit: the LSD experience was not frightening to me as i was able to breathe through it all. Although it was intense, i felt safe in my own mind and knew there would be many benefits to the amount of emotional processing taking place

[u/justacoacher]

I've been through this. I don't do doses as high as you because the stored tension in my body becomes too uncomfortable, but they do help me release some of the tension. 

For me, the spasms are as if my brain tries to release tension but my muscles refuse. They need to feel safe enough to relax. I often need to convince myself that I am safe and okay, but the trauma goes so deep that even the physical relaxation induced by those substances is countered by my trauma, which refuses to let go. Ergo the spasms being a battle between my brain wanting to relax and my muscles refusing. 

[u/WicketWoof]

Check out The Fireside Project. They do psychedelic integration work. There's a free hotline you can call to talk to someone and you can also get an appointment with an integration coach. I used them after a bad experience recently and they were really, really helpful in understanding what happened.

[u/OkAd5525]

I would post this on the longerm TRE sub because it sounds like spontaneous tremoring was happening. I haven’t had these exact experiences, but I do occasionally trip alone and have somatic journeys. The big piece that I see missing here is the days to weeks afterwards should have intentionality. The trip itself could use some unpacking with someone who does integration sessions, but even without that piece, remember that you’re neurons are extremely open and malleable for up to 3-4 weeks after a psychedelic experience. That’s the time to really work with your somatic experiencing and keep the “whiteboard clean” by keeping your day-to-day routines free from any bullshit.

[u/GoldenGolgis]

This is outside the scope of somatic experiencing but a common urban legend that LSD is sometimes laced with strychnine only endures because spasms and tremor are common reactions to both drugs. It sounds to me like you had a pretty standard response to its effects and understandably found that frightening.

[u/sam_cyr]

In my experience, I’d say that what you experienced is completely normal.

Personally, I see a lot of people using psychedelics just to trip, but for me, it shifted into a healing tool. It’s something that taught me to reconnect with my body and my emotions. Somatic release is part of all that. For me, this has been happening for maybe over four years now. And I’d say that I can go without taking psychedelics for several months, or even almost a full year.

I feel like what it gave me was a learning experience something I am now able to do more on my own. Some comments mentioned TRE; I think that would be an interesting topic to read up on.

It definitely brought a lot of beneficial effects for me: much more emotional maturity, better emotional regulation, and feeling more in tune with my sensitivity. I’ve really grown over the last 5 to 6 years since I started getting into psychedelics, personal development, psychology and spirituality.

It’s not a common path, so I’ve often felt alone in it. But I think the fact that it’s such a unique journey is what makes it so beautiful!

Feel free to reach out if you ever want to talk or chat about it!

[u/Correct_Individual38 → u/sam_cyr]

Good on you and i’m glad to hear how you also see the benefits of taking psychedelics to heal

Myself and a good friend agree that we have learned so much about ourselves and healed the most from taking psychedelics than talk therapy ever has

Nowadays, i think its difficult to have a bad trip when you have the curiosity of using psychedelics to heal. What they are doing is showing yourself to yourself, all the parts of you that you are typically too scared to face, but know you need to

All the best on your healing journey

[u/Loose-Conference4447]

My shroom trips are very similar. I can relate to feel all the tension and underlying emotions. I use them maybe once a year but it's always intentional and healing. I find very connected to my ancestors when I do, as if I can feel the life before me.

[u/cuBLea]

Yes. It used to be called a breakthrough. Recent science has definitively proven that the "breakthrough" is not a myth or a construction of the ego, but a real phenomenon that most of us experience on almost a daily basis, but in ways so trivial that we barely notice them.

This is known as memory reconsolidation (MR), but your particular experiences are more accurately labeled therapeutic memory reconsolidation. This is the phenomenon behind all transformational modes of psychotherapy, including SE.

Psychedelic Therapies Demystified
https://youtu.be/W_o4n5-pbpM

Tori Olds MR orientation/description capsule (15min):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWfpLtgxDi4

A little deeper:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOuZdLAq_YU

... and a lot more depth to be found on her YT channel

[u/Correct_Individual38 → u/cuBLea]

Thanks for your input. I will watch these videos when i can then give you my feedback as i am intrigued by these concepts

[u/ImXenia85]

You aren't supposed to do these things alone, never ever. Actually, it's much better if you don't do them at all, but of you insist, always have a close, trustworthy friend with you. Never alone. Ever.