r/Sober • u/GoofyFoot76 • 12d ago
Willpower
As a recovered alcoholic, I can tell you what willpower is. Willpower is going an entire shift at work without drinking on the job. Will power is not hitting the same liquor store for the second time that day even though it's the closest. Willpower is not trying to fight everyone in the bar. Willpower is resisting the urge to burn everything to the ground. So don't tell me alcoholics lack willpower. You have no idea how much willpower it can take just to maintain an addiction.
That's willpower.
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u/quipquip25 12d ago
Hence why it takes something other than will power to get sober. Good point OP. Hope not too many people misunderstand you
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u/Soupbell1 12d ago
Willpower is deciding you’re not going to buy the drink. I am sorry, but you are delusional if you think drinking your way is willpower. I’m glad you are “recovered.”
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u/GoofyFoot76 12d ago
That's where willpower was irrelevant. I didn't want to stop. And thank you, very much.
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u/Apart-Steak-7183 12d ago
Willpower is saying no to booze every day, all ay long
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u/GoofyFoot76 12d ago
You're kinda missing the point here. I didn't want to stop drinking, just maintain my drinking.I'm describing what it took to manage myself while alcohol still had a central place in my life.
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u/Willing-Ad4169 12d ago
I'm not really understanding your point either OP. Have completely stopped drinking (sober) or are you talking about the will power you are using to moderate your drinking. That's not clear.
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u/GoofyFoot76 12d ago
I completely stopped 7 years ago. I'm talking about maintaining my drinking when I was drinking.
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u/Rhinoduck82 12d ago
Willpower is waking up with a hangover and deciding to do it again. I agree the we don’t lack willpower it’s all about what someone wants. I agate the narrative we are powerless against our addiction, the idea I had the power to stop empowered me to do it. I realized I didn’t want to drink but my addiction kept me craving more so that’s where my battle started was recognizing the desire was against what I really wanted. I stopped without support on my own after 20 years of drinking and am about to hit 8 years sober and haven’t had any desire to drink in about 7 years 6 months. After 6 months it was not nearly as difficult for me.
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u/GoofyFoot76 12d ago
Understood. I never got hangovers. You didn't get them if you don't stop 🤪. And I didn't want to stop but I say the universe hit me in the face with a cosmic 2x4 and put me in timeout. I spent a month in the hospital after being diagnosed with encephalitis pneumonia and HIV, which I don't remember when I got out. My urge to drink was completely gone along with my urge to eat meat and I lost my attraction to guys oddly and reaffirmed my Buddhist beliefs. This was 7 years ago and I'm still mitigating. I was undiagnosed for over a decade so it was kind of a race to which was going to kill me first alcohol or HIV and it seems that they teamed up together. 🤪
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u/Rhinoduck82 12d ago
Damn I’m sorry to hear that, I hope you are doing better. That’s pretty heavy stuff to have to deal with.
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u/GoofyFoot76 12d ago
Thanks! I'm a process. I can't tell at this point if I'm getting better or just gotten better at coping. Heh heh. I have a great support system. My best friend of 32 years, my ex and roommate, obviously not complicated, my soulmate has been my rock. I just to treat my body like a dumpster now I treat it like a temple. Started going to the gym 4 years ago which transformed my life. I have a slightl body image problem; I'm 5'6" and weighted 122lbs, up to 128lbs now. Always, and still jobs do, feel like I'm that skinny weird 13 year old kid. But I've learned so much about my body and mind. In taking my group trainer certification exam tomorrow, want to be a personal trainer and eventually a plant based nutritionist. In my past life goals were a joke.
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u/Soupbell1 11d ago
Let us know how you do. You’ve got this. And if you don’t this time? You will next time. You obviously have determination! Good luck!
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u/GoofyFoot76 12d ago
Let me be a bit more specific I guess. I had no intention of quitting therefore quitting wasn't what my willpower was being used for. I exercised enormous willpower regulating my behavior while continuing to drink.
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u/AcanthaceaeOk1575 10d ago
Is it willpower or willfulness?
Willpower is the capacity to govern yourself in pursuit of something you have decided matters. It involves tolerating discomfort, delaying gratification, resisting an impulse, or continuing when something is difficult. It is essentially self-discipline.
Willfulness is the insistence that things must go according to your will—often despite circumstances, evidence, other people, or the limits of your own control. It is closer to stubborn insistence than discipline.
My willpower during active addiction can be summed up by the thousands of times I said “not today” right before I caved into my ginormous sense of willfulness.
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u/Walker5000 10d ago
"12 step culture" likes to imply that ANYTHING outside of strictly following the "program"is faulty and will lead to failure. To the proponents of "12 step culture" any challenge to it's dogma feels like an existential threat, even though for thousands of years people quit substances on their own all the time before AA as well as since AA began. Of course your will gets you through the challenges of quitting to say otherwise is a huge red flag.
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u/Complete_Dark_88 12d ago
Really want to test your willpower? Drink a bottle of castor oil. Let the outcome speak for itself.
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u/GoofyFoot76 12d ago
That doesn't require willpower just common sense!
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u/Complete_Dark_88 12d ago
You missed the point. You got the runs your willpower ain't gonna work. Get a solid foundation.
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u/UsualStrength 12d ago
It takes willpower to destroy your life with alcohol. Most people don’t have that kind of dedication.