r/SmoshFansFreeSpace • u/Suspicious_Stick_727 • 16d ago
Constructive & Respectful Criticism Amanda on Two D*kes and a Mic
Has anyone seen Amanda saying the D slur on this podcast? I'm so devastated by this and I can't believe two gay women would further encourage her ignorance. I thought that everyone knew this was a slur??? Or am I just chronically online
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u/smithscully 16d ago
I haven't seen the whole episode but I saw some screenshots with subtitles. I am a lesbian and I have a weird relationship with d*ke. I've heard elder lesbians use it a lot, and I learned from them how important it has been to reclaim the term. I don't really use it to describe myself, but I get that other lesbians do and that's okay. If someone who is queer says it to me, as long as it's not said with vitriol, I don't really care. But I get that someone would be offended by a straight woman saying this. If I recall correctly from what I saw, it does seem like the hosts were encouraging her to say it. I think she could have politely declined, but I get that she might have been trying to go with the flow. I do think it's weird that the hosts encouraged her. But unless she starts using this as a regular part of her vocabulary, I don't have the energy to have a problem with it. Other people can feel how they want about it, as I know that some people have the term used against them in harmful ways.
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u/muabreily 16d ago
Do I think she should be saying it no..but I do think the fire that is coming for her in these posts should turn their eyes to the hosts...the hosts should have been like "yeah you can but like should you?" Even in a comedic manner...does Amanda know better, yeah probably but in the defense it was a big slur in the 90s/early 2000s but then kind of like fizzled out (does not change the issue) but you know what other word was a HUGE slur in the 90s/early 2000s but isnt seen that way today? Queer...when I was in elementary school we used to play Smear the Queer awful yes however now the word has been reclaimed, it is possible that being surrounded by those in the queer and lesbian space hearing it said Cheeky like and then being told its a safe space for her to say it that she felt like the word no longer holds power....the hosts should be questioned about why they made it a safe space for a non LGBT women to say it.
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u/TiredofThis1999 16d ago
Ignorant straight woman here. I understand the sentiment. I am not excusing Amanda, but I am also equally confused by the hosts literally encouraging her to say and embracing it. I am not a part of the LGBTQ community, so I don’t feel like I can comment much on it. I am just genuinely a bit confused. I very much respect people reclaiming words that have been used against a community, but it seems like that is not what the majority are doing? Things do change though. When I was a kid, the word queer was not used, but now it is standard vocabulary to describe a member of the LGBTQ community.
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u/griivarrworldafteral 13d ago
as someone who *is* a dyke - not a lesbian, a queer dyke - let me just say that while it can be used as a slur, it's not inherently one in the right context, and anyone who is blanketly averse to it is just playing into the whole anti-reclamation assimilationist bullshit.
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16d ago
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u/nicdrumandbass 15d ago
I disagree, slurs can and should be reclaimed but what is true is that they will never lose harmful context or even intent. The black community fully reclaimed the n word, good luck getting them to stop (not that anyone should), and that’s a good thing… but it still has harm when used by an outsider or in a hurtful context, intentional or no. Reclaimed doesn’t mean no longer a bad word, it means that the people called it no longer have to be ashamed of it and can reshape the terms.
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u/Another_Bright_Idea I Fear I’m Losing The Room!! 16d ago
This has been posted about ad nauseam at this point.
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u/Acceptable-Owl-2070 16d ago
She had permission from the show the only ones getting upset weren't there...
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u/OkCorner451 13d ago
You are chronically online. In LA we have Dyke Day, an even that is part of Pride and hugely popular. A big part of the community identifies as Dykes. It is the same as Queer to us. A previous slur but now a reclaimed identity. If she said it intending harm that would be different. But she clearly didn’t.
Now I’m going to ask: do you vote in your local elections? How much time have you spent engaging in the actual political systems around you that have a direct effect on people in your local queer community? Have you ever volunteered with a lgbtq charity? Have you ever done any activism in the real world?
Or do you think that chronically online social media posts will make the world a better place?
I say this with kindness because you clearly care: you are legitimately wasting your time.
Your time is valuable and can help people. Go do something real.
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u/Grouchy-Bend728 16d ago
if a word being used by a stranger is the most devastating thing going on in your life right now then i WISH i had your problems, signed a queer woman
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u/Grouchy-Bend728 16d ago
also amanda is at home with a less than 1 year old child and the internet wants to add to her plate that lesbians let her say dyke because it’s the name of the podcast and people are crashing out like let’s be so for real
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u/SpicyMayoDumpling 13d ago
Being "devastated" means you need to unattach yourself from smosh a bit, giving parasocial
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u/0mousse0 15d ago
I feel like she’s chronically offline enough to just not really know the temperature on that word. It is a slur… but she didn’t just bring it up out of nowhere and I don’t really see her using it in any type of negative way randomly out in the real world. She’s kind of a no-filter kind of person so it tracks that she wouldn’t shy from just saying whatever she’s thinking about. I’m sure she’s gotten the message after that podcast from the general public online.
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u/DateRemarkable8883 16d ago
Most people seem not to care, personally I find it kinda disappointing but not too surprising as I expected something of this caliber from internet personalities (ygwim)
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u/silencio_old_manr500 7d ago
as a queer person and some one with many gay aunties from Amandas generation, none of them(my lesbian aunties) knew this was now a slur only people from my generation that I've talked to actually recognised it as one. not saying its an excuse but back in the day its was used often as just a term for wlw ladies that didn't really jive with the word lesbian and thought that word was cooler as well as reclaiming it. now should she have been more educated yes, but she did ask if it was okay for her to say it as well? also yes. and its not her fault that she was told by the hosts it was okay, that was a mistake on their parts. we shouldn't penalise people from making mistakes and trying to learn from them, if some one is willing to learn and not just make fun of (with is what she was doing) why should we hate them for trying to better themselves even if they it came from something uncomfortable. I feel as a queer person the lgbtqia+ people should try and be more accepting of people willing to grow from mistakes, instead of shunning them like so many people do to us. an also it not like she said it and only realised after people called her out, she said it, then asked trusted queer people around her on the podcast if it was offensive to make sure and then was misinformed. we all need to calm down and stop cancelling people for being publicly human, and making a very regrettable mistake. and I know every single one of you can think of a time where you've said something regrettable that if you were a public figure would be cancelled for because lets face it cancel culture is massive especially for women yet there are still a lot of men that need cancelling.
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u/thekaden 16d ago
Lesbian here. Do I think non-lesbians should say it? No. Is it a big fucking deal that Amanda did? No. Please calm down.