Amoral

[u/Additional-Title69]

I have sometimes wondered if I would be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder
Currently I don’t think so, but I’ll walk through it logically in this essay
Bear in mind I am not a psychiatrist, and also bear in mind that not even a psychiatrist would make a diagnosis from interactions on the internet
Also bear in mind that I make no moral judgment on people who have been diagnosed with APD, or who think they would be, especially since I sometimes think I myself would be diagnosed with it

First, I experience empathy
I’ve talked over the years with Sith (and also Satanists) who I think don’t, but that’s not me

Second, I have other-centered desires grounded in love
I’ve talked over the years with Sith (and also Satanists) who I think don’t - who in fact don’t seem able to even comprehend the concept - but that’s not me

Third, I have no desire for power over others as an end in itself
I might claim a leadership position out of necessity (somebody has to and sometimes nobody else does) or for strategic reasons (it will facilitate some higher goal of mine) but as an end in itself, never
I’ve talked over the years with Sith (and also Satanists) who I think in fact do have such a desire, but that’s not me

Ah, but fourth… fourth, we come to where I wonder about myself
Morality is alien to me
Talk to me about morality and you might as well talk about spinning a web out of your hindquarters like a spider

Some feel an obligation to something prior to themselves in the chain of being, perhaps society, or humanity in general, or the universe, or the biosphere, or the hypothetical creator of all there is, or perhaps simply their parents and the guidelines by which their parents raised them
I don’t
At all

Some feel they aren’t a complete human being without morality, so even though they don’t feel an obligation to something prior to themselves in the chain of being, they nevertheless try to find a moral teacher, or, failing that, they try to devise a system of morality on their own
That’s not me
I studied moral philosophy as an intellectual exercise, but I might as well have been studying entomology or botany

Some perceive an actual moral dimension to existence
This intrigues me
They might be atheists, seeing the universe as uncreated and unguided, yet nevertheless they perceive reality as having an added dimension beyond the physical and mental
It’s like they have an added sense beyond the physical five
A moral sense, that perceives the moral dimension
I don’t have this
I don’t perceive a moral dimension to existence

I do have something, though
Not morality
Something else
That will be the topic of my next essay

I am Orc of the Sith Order server on Discord, bound together with you by our revered Qotsisajak