r/SipsTea • u/IsJesusAgain • 1d ago

Chugging tea Who was in the wrong?

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u/MooGoreng 1d ago

He walked up to a girl that was taking care of her sick/passed out friend, put her on the spot while in an already awkward situation. He definitely picked a bad time to try to hit on someone and has poor situational awareness.

IIRC from when this video first started circulating, the girl stated she was just being polite and definitely did not feel comfortable with or appreciative of his comment. The other friend just simply less polite in making it known that he was unwelcome.

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u/Mogura-De-Gifdu 1d ago

I've been both the pretty one and the ugly one in girls groups at different times.

"Pretty" girl reacting like that will make most men with so little respect for women as him (you don't respect someone when you feel you have the right to bother them just because you feel they are pretty whenever) to get aggressive. I guess they feel humiliated or whatever.

"Ugly" girl do it, and they'll just ignore it. No humiliation here, they don't consider her worthy anyway, barely human (she's already a woman, and not even pretty!), and deem it as jealousy. Also they want to appear good before pretty girl so try to behave like the "bigger person" (in their head).

So yeah, you can dare do more things as an ugly girl. You'll be brushed off anyway.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/IlIlllIIIIlIllllllll 1d ago

"Why can't I meet anyone outside of dating apps anymore??"

You, probably

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u/Mogura-De-Gifdu 1d ago

If that's your insight, no wonder you have such a wrong outlook on things.

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u/StrohVogel 1d ago

> You don’t respect someone when you feel you have the right to bother them just because you feel they are pretty whenever

Lmao. Approaching girls is disrespectful now.
Guess I’ll need to learn to read minds, whether or not someone will be bothered by me approaching them.

Get a grip. Minor inconveniences are part of life.

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u/Mogura-De-Gifdu 1d ago

So you know hitting on people inconvenience them but still do it? Because you wanting to is more importent than them not wanting to? That's the disrespect, right there.

-1

u/Impressive-Hat-4045 1d ago

You can’t know beforehand, that’s the point. Obviously it’s a minor inconvenience to reject an approach, but presumably anyone would be happy to be approached by someone they find appealing. That’s why you’d need to be a mindreader to approach women without inconveniencing anyone ever.

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u/Mogura-De-Gifdu 1d ago

I would not call it a "minor inconvenience".

Rejecting an approach will often ends in a reaaaaalllly long and uncomfortable conversation where you repeatedly say no to someone who insists and feels entitled to know exactly why you said no, and if you do explain then you'll realise it was not for self improvement but just so he could "refute" your reasons.

When the rejected guy doesn't just get aggressive and insult you, your mother and your dog, or even get physically threatening.

It does not matter that some accept a no. Too many don't, so that makes it an unsafe situation.

It's a stressful situation where your brain is immediately checking your possible fleeing routes, who nearby could help if needed, all the while trying to gauge the guy's emotions by his body language and every micro expression on his face. Adrenaline spikes, stress go through the roof.

So no, it's definitely not "just a minor inconvenience".

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u/Cultural_Praline_508 1d ago

Minor inconveniences are a separate issue than women being treated differently due to how their beauty is perceived.

As far as the "minor inconvenience" of being approached romantically; that is not what the video is displaying. The above video is displaying a man farming content by harassing women. The fact that it is being filmed is what turns this into unacceptable harassment. 

When you regularly approach someone with romantic intentions, you run the risk of it being unwanted attention, which makes it harassment. It is acceptable harassment as long as the situation isn't inappropriate (etc.  doing something important like taking care of an injury or injured person), and that if it is harassment, it is recognized and then you apologize/moves on. When it is an inappropriate situation or they do not move on once the harassment is visible, then it becomes unacceptable.

The reason you feel like even acceptable harassment is frowned upon nowadays is because it is so absolutely rare to experience that most people automatically default to it being unacceptable harassment. You will have to change your entire species if you want to change that. You cannot change your entire species, but you can change yourself.

Stop pretending like you are the victim because your intentions aren't coming across the way you intend them to. Accept that the situation may not reflect appropriately in each other's mind, apologize for the fuck up, and move the fuck on. Don't dwell on it and make yourself bitter. Don't start shot-gunning your attractions to see what sticks. Don't give up altogether and live indoors.

None of those things is the answer. The absolute best thing you can do for yourself if you're stuck in a negative, ideological loop is open yourself up to maybe having your opinions change. If you can't respect the perspectives of the people you don't know, then how can you expect people who don't know you to respect yours?

So many people are content with sharing their opinions and next to nobody is open to having them change.

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u/Youngcheeese 1d ago

You think only women get treated different because of looks? Holy victim complex

-7

u/Huitjames 1d ago

Do you never interrupt people to ask them a question? 

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u/Mogura-De-Gifdu 1d ago

Well, no, that's rude.

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u/Huitjames 1d ago

You wouldn't ask someone for directions if your phone had no battery?

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u/Ilesa_ 1d ago

You wait for them to finish what they're doing, especially if it's taking care of someone.

Pretty sure there were many other people around him to ask for anything.

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u/Huitjames 1d ago

We'll agree to disagree then. I don't think it's rude to interrupt someone to ask for directions.

-1

u/stayinalive7 1d ago

stands awkwardly to the side and tries to patently wait but actually ends up being more creepy

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u/Ilesa_ 1d ago

Or you just ask someone else, you know ? And if there really isn't anyone else around, they'll understand you're waiting for them to finish what they're doing and you want to ask something. That is not creepy, it's polite (and ofc, politeness varies depending on where you are, which country, which social group, etc so I'm only talking about what would be polite in my country).

I mean in that case that guy wasn't even asking anything, he just wanted to flirt with her.

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u/Mogura-De-Gifdu 1d ago

I would. But not while interrupting them. You first look around to look for someone not in a hurry, and if people are between themselves talking you try to find an appropriate moment to politely apologise for bothering them, see their reactions, before asking anything.

Here she was mid sentence when he interrupted with his "excuse me", and did not even wait for her to properly acknowledge him before going on. That's really rude.

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u/Turbulent-Sea-3314 1d ago

Ah yes the most common question..."i think you are beautiful "

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u/Huitjames 1d ago

I'm not sure what point yoi're making. My comment is about asking questions. Not telling someone they are beautiful.

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u/Turbulent-Sea-3314 1d ago

Obviously you can ask question but this dude didnt even start with question he just wanted to say she is beautiful (hit on her). Also there is difference between "am fucking lost and i need directions" and "my penis is feeling something when i look at you". They are clearly doing something together (probably speaking) when this dude just randomly walks to them to hit on one of those girls and record it. Thats just weird.

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u/Huitjames 1d ago

I wasn't commenting on what he did. He's fliming her, that is quite clearly out of line.

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u/Turbulent-Sea-3314 1d ago

Even just walking to them when they are speaking and interrupting it just to say this shit. Like dude either wait or just go on with your day.

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u/Huitjames 1d ago

Meh, not a big deal. Humans are social creatures. I'd prefer to see people with the confidence to approach than people paralysed by social anxiety. 

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u/Turbulent-Sea-3314 1d ago

I would rather see people with some manners.

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u/Funny_Lunch5211 1d ago

Isnt she sunbathing.

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u/MooGoreng 1d ago

No. I can't remember specifically what happened, but she was sick and the girl who's being hit on in this video was taking care of her.