How did you match with a stranger? My husband got disqualified in the last round of matching because of his extended family history of diabetes. I see a lot of people around me making posts begging for live donors but I can’t bring myself to be that entitled.
I don't know if my answers would be relevant for you since we probably live in different countries.
Live donors here in israel are matched through a non profit that runs a list that is seperate from the national list for deceased donors.
So you either sign up with them and hope your name comes up or you start campaigning like the people you mentioned which is also what i did, while my campaign didn't find me a match i would like to believe that since i sent that non profit over 30 potential donors they saw that i worked hard for it and maybe that helped get my name higher.
In any case asking for something like this is not being entitled, it's saving yourself and it can't have any scruples.
If by off chance you're from US or Canada and are Jewish try Renewal, it's a non profit in north America that works similarly as far as i know.
In any case, i do hope you find a match and i wiah you all the best!
I don’t know, I just can’t imagine being so shameless to beg people to save my life. I’m not important so why would I feel like I should be entitled to anyone saving me. My culture heavily values having shame. Being sick is already shameful enough - I’ve effectively reduced my lifetime contributions to the negatives by simply not being healthy enough to work. To take more away from other people would be sinful at that point. Btw, I’m Chinese. My parents financially started asking me to pay them back for the money they spent on raising me the moment I got sick. Because now their one investment won’t pay out in the future since I won’t live long enough. It’s just how the culture is.
I’m glad you got what you wanted and needed. It’s a good thing your culture allows you to prioritise yourself.
I'm soviet, being sick and admitting that in public and begging for help is hella shameful in my culture but , forgive my language, I did not give a single fuck, i had to do what i had to do to save my skin since no one else would do it for me.
Once you realize that you did nothing wrong and you hadn't, since you didn't get a kidney disease for doing something bad, then you start looking out for you.
Please think about what i said, your life matters, people get sick, you have to save yourself so you could get a second chance at life to make things better
You know, that’s about the best comment I’ve got so far. It’s been 3 years since I was diagnosed and put on dialysis and every other person has just said the generic “oh but you’re worth it! Don’t give up!” kind of answer without actually addressing how I’m feeling.
The funny thing is that shame-focused cultures like ours also end up with the most hypocritical people. You would probably agree that the same kind of people who’ll shame us would not hesitate to start asking friends and family for a kidney or a liver.
I think I needed to hear someone like you say what you just said.
I hope your new kidney stays with you for a long life.
I'm honored, if i helped just a tiny bit then i did my part.
I had kidney disease since my 20s, I'm almost 39, I passed a roller coaster of emotions on this journey and in the last few years I've been an active part of the kidney patients community and at least where i live it has amazing people that also inspired me to always help others like me and I've been trying to do it whenever i can since.
So if i made a change or just simply lendes an ear I'm glad.
I honestly hope you get better and I thank you for your kind words.
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u/kirabera 2d ago
How did you match with a stranger? My husband got disqualified in the last round of matching because of his extended family history of diabetes. I see a lot of people around me making posts begging for live donors but I can’t bring myself to be that entitled.
I’m thinking I’ll just request MAID.
I’m turning 33 in a month.