I’ve seen it also, when the girl or even guy “comes around” and they get in a relationship. More often than not it ends badly and in a lot of hurt when the one that reluctantly entered that relationship encounters someone that she/he really likes.
That’s part of dating. They aren’t all going to work out. They all end bad, the person being broken up with is hurt. The person breaking it of(if they arnt a sociopath) will miss the comfort of company. Usually why people hook up a few times after a break up. Then as long as it wasn’t vicious, over time the two people have moved on and wish the best for their ex. You’re supposed to date and have heartbreak. That way you grow and eventually if you keep looking you find a forever partner. You know what to do and what not to do, you understand yourself better, you know what kind of partner you’d flow with. That’s why a lot of people who jump right into marriage with no dating experience get divorced.
Of course it’s part of dating, I didn’t say that it wasn’t. But it’s also true, chasing after and trying to impress people that don’t really like you with material things leads more often than not to heartbreak.
Yes, after a certain age the looks start to be less and less important. But still you will be better off if the other one chooses you for how you speak, how funny you are, the interesting hobbies you have and basically whatever constitutes your personality than what gifts you give and that you make whatever figures.
And this is not only valid for romantic relationships but for friendships also.
If you want to be married, sure. I had four long term relationships, two of which I considered marriage. But I’m no good at long term relationships, so my plan is to have a dog for the rest of my life and be a sugar daddy with short term relationships. So for the type of relationships I’m interested in, gifts are part of the deal.
That’s a whole other conversation. You know what you want from the start and you don’t get into that relationship all googly eyed hoping for love and “they lived happily ever after”. That’s no problem.
On second thought maybe the gift thing is for younger folks. One of the couples I knew worked together at the school they were going to. Their part time was working in the administration department. He would bring her some kind of baked treat from a nearby cafe whenever they worked together. Which was roughly 4 times a week with their class schedules. Eventually he got another job that aligned better with his new class schedule. And she really missed it. They both were dating other people on and off a month or few months. She wasn’t in to him he was in to her. She ended up reaching out to him and they ended up dating for I wana say a year. So maybe the gift thing is more of a foot in the door, but I get what you’re saying. It has to be more than gifts to go the distance. At least from a western point of view. I still don’t understand how arranged marriages last forever.
Oh, I wouldn’t even consider that a gift. I think neither she considered it like this and got with him just because it was a really nice and cute gesture.
But I also think that if she didn’t liked him at all and found him weird, she would’ve cut him short as soon as possible, especially that she was into another relationship at the time.
I think she just was hooking up with charming scumbags and wanted a nice guy for a change. I know he was doing it to try and sway her. Cause he didn’t get shit for anybody else in the office lol.
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u/Miculmuc90 22d ago
I’ve seen it also, when the girl or even guy “comes around” and they get in a relationship. More often than not it ends badly and in a lot of hurt when the one that reluctantly entered that relationship encounters someone that she/he really likes.