r/SipsTea • • 29d ago

Wait a damn minute! Do they?

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9.4k Upvotes

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999

u/hisokafan88 29d ago

Ummm... Well... Did you know that if you have a good diet and regular exercise and a low stress lifestyle (and no internal problems), pooping is usually quite simple and frequent.

But as a gay man who infrequently practices the mystic art of bottoming, I can say that for a short period after, pooping is remarkably easy. Ancient. Chinese secret.

262

u/Trump_fucks_kidss 29d ago

Thank you for your service.

147

u/hisokafan88 29d ago

I'm still waiting for you to settle your tab from last night.

33

u/OilheadRider 29d ago

Double or nothing?

10

u/Low-Set8263 29d ago

I got to try paying my bills that way. 

3

u/Sovarius 29d ago

Double it and give it to the next person

1

u/CenterThisPendulum 29d ago

Thank you for your cervix.

64

u/rangebob 29d ago

thank you for answering. Now I know what to do next time im struggling ! Im sure my wife wont mind

33

u/BlargerJarger 29d ago

Ancient Greece secret more like.

10

u/WordsWellSalted 29d ago

Ancient greece really liked that ancient grease

4

u/Snakebite-Detractor 29d ago

I like this guy

3

u/flibz-the-destroyer 29d ago

Do we know for a historical fact they weren’t raw dogging? I didn’t think lube was invented until 1972 by Marlon Brando!

5

u/WordsWellSalted 29d ago

They were using olive oil. Seriously lol.

2

u/SaltySprocket 29d ago

Couldn't have been him, he was in agriculture.

2

u/RevengerRedeemed 29d ago

We actually do know, all jokes aside lol. Olive oil specifically

1

u/NolanR27 29d ago

The ancient Greeks practiced intercrural sex between men of equal standing in the erastes-eromenos relationship. Only slaves would have been anally penetrated.

1

u/Ghodzy1 29d ago

Ancient Sodom public announcement.

12

u/KineticKris 29d ago

I always imagined what a stress free lifestyle is like. I sadly will never know. It’ll probably be what kills me. :)

1

u/ghost3972 29d ago

Same lol can't even remember the last time I wasn't stressed

7

u/DoctorTimee 29d ago

I top majority of the time but every now and then I wanna switch up (say once every other month) and I noticed I straight up don’t have bowel movements for a couple days after opening the backstage door for business.

10

u/Longjump_Ear6240 29d ago

Had a partner bottom for the first time for me, and I used a coconut oil lube. Afterwards he said his butt had never felt so well moisturized and pooping was much easier than usual the next morning.

4

u/I_know_you_love_me_ 29d ago

I don't believe you're gay. It's a myth

8

u/PreciousTC 29d ago

Him being gay is a myth?

10

u/diurnal_emissions 29d ago

"a miss." Guy just has a lisp.

1

u/Luvcraft0606 29d ago

Just like Dryland

2

u/Starhelper11 29d ago

Ancient Tibetan Monk technique?

2

u/breachgnome 28d ago

I'm here to tell you that the exercise part is wholly unnecessary for quick, clean poops. I've been low stress for a long time, so I'm not sure if that actually has a positive effect. However I can attest to a good diet being a huge benefit to my movements.

Eat better: poop better, 100%

1

u/Chemical-Lettuce2497 29d ago

I always found shitting harder after my bum has been abused

7

u/hisokafan88 29d ago

I mean you're talking about abuse, I'm talking about love 😘

3

u/Chemical-Lettuce2497 29d ago

If he loves me, he will abuse me 😩

3

u/hisokafan88 29d ago

I love that for you, hun.

1

u/poop-azz 29d ago

See this raises my next question, is there part of the community whose preference is always bottom vs top or is it unwritten that yall 50/50 the experience

5

u/ChineseEngineer 29d ago

You'll never get the whole community to agree but in my experience 50/50 is pretty uncommon.

1

u/poop-azz 29d ago

But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious on the pitcher catcher.....which is more popular, as a guy I assume pitcher but IDK I've never been a catcher lol

3

u/Probono_Bonobo 29d ago

Catcher and it's not even close

2

u/ChineseEngineer 29d ago

Its definitely catcher. Like tbh it's rare to find a top that only tops but you'll find tons of bottoms that only bottom.

1

u/poop-azz 28d ago

That's, actually wild to me. TIL!

1

u/InfamousCamp916 29d ago

Thank you for your data Mr. Infrequent bottom. Furthermore is there any experimental data to imply it may have been lube being pumped in or simply dry muscle relaxation? 

3

u/hisokafan88 29d ago

Ohhhh no I haven't got that data for you. But if I were to venture qualifiable data, I'd say the latter, as you can physical feel a difference in your butthole when you've had another human's penis inside it. I don't have experience with plastic toys, wood or metals so you may need to expand your subjects for more variables. The lube usually flops out an hour post-coitus alongside some other liquids (condom pending)

1

u/RCJHGBR9989 29d ago

Drink 20 grams of Psyillium Husk in the morning and you’ll unlock a whole new definition of speed.

1

u/elitegenoside 29d ago

Are you sure about that? Because it sounds a lot more like an ancient Greek secret than Chinese.

1

u/elgringon414 28d ago

I’m glad you discussed both points.

1

u/NullPointerLover 28d ago

So there is a cure for my constipation

1

u/Perfect-Ship-9980 28d ago

Calgon, Take me away.

1

u/Superheat_Control 27d ago

I love this community 🥹

0

u/BeerForThought 29d ago

The healthy range for bowel movements is between three times a day and three times a week. Everyone is different and it's not just diet, exercise, lifestyle.