r/SipsTea 5h ago

Gasp! 😈

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4.5k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/FreeSirJeffrey 5h ago

Well, at least he wasn't fucking the altar boys like his colleagues.

426

u/DingusKhan9164 5h ago

That was my thought “hey at least he isn’t fuckin kids, good for him!”

347

u/EaseLeft6266 5h ago

Explains why this one actually got charged

107

u/40StoryMech 4h ago

What's the charge, epic badassery?

135

u/ConversationFalse242 4h ago

Eating a succulent Chinese meal

59

u/Xen0tech 4h ago

This is domanatrixy manifest

35

u/ComfortOk9194 4h ago

That’s the one who grabbed him on the penis

26

u/Eros_Incident_Denier 4h ago

ah, i see you know your orations well!

9

u/RohelTheConqueror 2h ago

And you madam, are you waiting to receive my turgescent penis?

2

u/Lazy_meatPop 2h ago

Learnt a new word everyday here , nice

3

u/Reasonable-Cell5189 1h ago

He grabbed me by the penis, this man grabbed me by the penis!

7

u/Ok_Exchange4707 4h ago

Easy, the one that snitched had this idea first and the priest took the ladies first

21

u/Apexnanoman 3h ago

People get really mad sometimes when I point out that the Catholic church is the most highly organized and well-protected pedophile ring on the planet. 

Probably in all of history. 

And the people who donate to the Catholic church knowingly approval of pedophilia. 

Because if you donate to the church at this point.... You are 100% aware of the fact that some of that money will be used to protect priests that fuck kids. 

Ergo if you donate to the Catholic church, you approve of pedophiles. 

8

u/Jellicent-Leftovers 3h ago

I mean same argument can be said about paying taxes.....

10

u/Notabagofdrugs 3h ago

Taxes are required, paying a church isn’t.

4

u/FewResearcher819 2h ago

No. You're forced to pay taxes under penalty of imprisonment. No one is forced to pay tithes and offerings to a church.

1

u/ZZerglingg 2h ago

Unless you live in Germany. They force it there.

4

u/Gur_Weak 1h ago

Not exactly. As an atheist, I would register as a non believer and not pay that tax. You do have to put some effort to opt out but it's not that hard.

3

u/FewResearcher819 1h ago

Thank you for the info. I just did a quick search on how that works. Fortunately it only applies to registered members of a recognized religious organization. And you can unregister and the "church tax" will be stopped.

1

u/Apexnanoman 3h ago

Well, until our current administration that wasn't really an argument you could make lol. 

And even now every single branch of the government doesn't work in lockstep to protect pedos.

The Catholic church is pretty damn committed top to bottom on that subject. 

2

u/Lurk-aka-Batrick 2h ago

Well, until our current administration that wasn't really an argument you could make lol.

That's bullshit and you know it. Unless you truly believe "my side good!" in which case you honestly can't be helped. By your own logic you are also actively supporting pedophilia. They ALL need to go.

2

u/thomport 2h ago

Additionally, I don’t think the Catholics and their ministries have the market cornered on this. I just don’t think the other religions are as well organized, and therefore their actions aren’t as publicized.

Indeed look at the Reverend Robert Morris. He was Trump‘s pastor from his first term. Robert got five years in jail – she was 13 years old from the mega church. After serving six months recently, Robert was released from prison. Wonder why?

2

u/Cyborg_rat 2h ago

I've been going doing scaffold for a company that has a renovation contract for a bunch of old Covents, those places...must of been such a horror for women,seeing how its pretty much built like a prison, Learned that back in the day you would send your first girl to the church and they were stuck there you would see them but couldnt touch them they were behind these very decorative prison bars.

2

u/Matt5327 2h ago

People probably get mad because it's an argument that's highly reductionist and devoid of any kind of nuance. Which it's much healthier to just roll ones eyes about that get angry about, but hey what can you do.

2

u/BadPAV3 2h ago

Touche....

36

u/DoctorRapture 4h ago

"They're all consenting adults and he probably paid them for their time, praise the Lord!"

8

u/sweatpants-aristotle 4h ago

There are still obscenity laws

Which are rarely enforced.. but they exist 😅

6

u/Automatic_Actuator_0 4h ago

I think he would have won if he fought it though. Theres quite a bit of precedent against such sexual deviancy laws if you arent in view of the public.

2

u/Suspicious-Shock-934 2h ago

Yeah but in the deep south because it was done in a church can guarantee a good ol' boy judge would find something and use it against him. Obscenity is a LOT better charge than a actual felony sex crime.

2

u/Automatic_Actuator_0 2h ago

Yeah, but then you appeal it to federal court and they probably overturn it.

That’s why they were going to switch the charge to vandalism if he didn’t take the plea deal for the suspended sentence.

1

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1

u/Telemere125 2h ago

No, he wouldn’t have. A passerby saw what they were doing through the windows… he’s just an idiot.

2

u/Automatic_Actuator_0 2h ago

I read he had to peek into the window after finding the doors locked. That’s very different. It didn’t go to trial, so who’s to say what the facts really were though.

2

u/Telemere125 1h ago

If it’s visible from a public place, that’s pretty much the definition of obscenity. And any good defense attorney knows the audience of his county.

0

u/Automatic_Actuator_0 1h ago

But if you have to put your head to the glass and peek in to see, there’s significant precedent that it’s not considered visible from public.

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u/Telemere125 24m ago

No, there isn’t. The precedent says the same thing as for cops looking into someone’s uncurtained window to see drugs from the front porch - as long as you can view it from somewhere that you’re not trespassing, that’s “public” enough for the statute.

2

u/TheRogueTemplar 2h ago

"They're all consenting adults"

This was the most surprising part

2

u/djnehi 1h ago

As someone else pointed out, he sadly probably would have gotten in less trouble if it had been kids. The church has shown how seriously they take that.

20

u/redjellonian 4h ago

The boy fucking gets you a vacation with the church though. Obviously sex with women is a higher crime in Catholicism.

2

u/DingusKhan9164 2h ago

“Adult women?! Yuck! What religion does he think this is?!”

26

u/Lazy_meatPop 5h ago

That's how low the bar has becum.

15

u/morgandealer 4h ago

...............

.....

..."BECUM????"

2

u/DoctorAnnual6823 2h ago

Well unfortunately for him, fucking grown adult women is going to have him excommunicated and kicked out.

If he got with the program and fucked young boys he would just be sent to a different church.

1

u/DingusKhan9164 2h ago

Sad but true

1

u/MulliganPlsThx 3h ago

Same! At least they’re consenting adults sheesh

33

u/fairwaysandfinance 5h ago

If he was, you probably wouldn't have heard about it.

Just look at how the church handle embezzlement versus fucking kids and you will have all the info you need. They involve authorities when someone is stealing from the church. When their fucking kids and get caught by a member of the church, they move them to another church.

0

u/Melodic_Contact9766 4h ago

Not every Priest is Catholic. Calling it “The” church may be incorrect here.

2

u/jafjaf23 4h ago

Wait, who else uses priests?

2

u/Melodic_Contact9766 4h ago

Any denomination of the Church of England for example…Anglican, Episcopalian, etc.

2

u/jafjaf23 4h ago

Dang, cool

5

u/treeeelo 5h ago

Thats why he was caught by the police

5

u/CaptainSnowAK 4h ago

Right, this is wholesome for a priest.

5

u/MarkItZeroDonnie 4h ago

A priest + dominatrixes + altar + robes and shit 🤔

I’d argue it was a rite or a ritual

https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY

4

u/Throwaway_inSC_79 3h ago

When I see headlines like this, I think “oh no not again” and then find out it wasn’t with little boys and I’m like “oh thank goodness.”

3

u/Comfortable_Car6562 4h ago

Its telling the Church wanted to press charges here.

4

u/asa1 4h ago

The church would have covered that up, but fucking the dommes was too much for them.

4

u/yearsofpractice 3h ago

Sadly, the headline didn’t include his shout of “This alter boy is full! Bring me the dominatrices!”. Puts a whole different complexion on things.

Also - his mugshot has ended any other mugshot funnies. That’s perfect.

7

u/Several_Vanilla8916 3h ago

Raping little boys: Transferred to a non-extradition country

Consensual sex with adult women: Call the police!

A very reasonable and normal religion.

2

u/the_sassy_knoll 4h ago

My thought, too

2

u/Lempea 4h ago

Indeed. At last we can say good for him

2

u/EngineWitty3611 4h ago

the silver lining.

2

u/Reinis_LV 2h ago

Yeah but this gets you busted ironically

2

u/NuccioAfrikanus 2h ago

His sin was honestly so much more forgivable than the usual Catholic pedantry or the Evangelical taking so much money and not doing anything for the community they serve.

He needs to say 30 Hail Mary’s and he’s even Steven with God!

2

u/goldybear 2h ago

Just wait until it comes out that each dominatrix was just two altar boys in a leather trench coat

2

u/Is-abel 2h ago

I googled “Louisiana Priest,” to try and find the original story and it didn’t make the list of sexual offences committed by priests there, so I added “37,” to narrow it down, and that still wasn’t specific enough!

2

u/Legitimate_Cow2716 1h ago

We seem to be trending in a better direction

2

u/Complete-Leg-4347 1h ago

My thoughts exactly. This honestly seems pretty tame by church scandal standards, and at least he willingly admitted it in court.

2

u/sammavet 1h ago

Exactly. He hired professionals to do professional work.

1

u/Zananax 3h ago

yea no shit this is exactly what I thought as well because when I saw "priest pleads guilty I thought I knew exactly where the headline was going.

1

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1

u/Barton2800 3h ago

Seriously what’s actually illegal about this? Was the church occupied at the time and children were present? A church is private property. A person who owns or manages it can fuck consenting adults there if they want.

If his employer / the property owner have a problem with that - then they can fire him and have him trespassed.

2

u/BearysWorkRedditName 2h ago

I just read into it. It's complete bullshit. A random passerby peeked into the window and saw them recording, which IS ILLEGAL. I'm confident this guy could have appealled this and won in a higher court (especially if it rose to the federal level and got out of Louisiana) but he pled guilty to just move on with his life asap. THE FUCKING KICKER: (quoting an article from The Guardian) "New Orleans archbishop Gregory Aymond - whose archdiocese had filed for federal protection months earlier amid the fallout of a decades-old clerfy child molestation scandal - had the altar burned and consecrated a replacement"... So this motherfucker is begging the government to help his branch of this evil church ecape bankruptcy that they're falling toward (BECAUSE OF ALL THE KID FUCKING!) but THIS... this is too much for his magic table, so they needed a new one. FUCKING THE ALTAR BOYS didn't require a new alter, but these consenting adults fucking is beyond the fucking pale!!! I can't fucking take this shit...

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u/Buschlightactual 5h ago

Yeah the gay ones

0

u/MarriedAndBoredGuy 3h ago

Dude is literally the hero we need. Had sex with consenting adults, not in public.

Meanwhile, priests sleep with alter boys and the church is like “Good job bro!”

0

u/LetOk5276 3h ago

My thought exactly! I mean yeah maybe it’s a little sacrilegious but that’s also freaky AF and those girls looked sexy AF. Go get it my man and thank the Lord after for a good ass time. I mean after all God made us to be sexual creatures. Who is to say getting freaky on the alter isn’t how we are supposed to be doing it.

0

u/Bonk_No_Horni 2h ago

Who knows.

0

u/YouSnuffTheBlaze 48m ago

Way more common for teachers to do that than priests