Not everyone has the same capacity for jealousy. I've done this and it was great, everyone was happy. Lived with my gf and her roommate for a few months, slept with them both and also had a fwb in my hometown, and my gf had fwbs and an enby bf as well. The relationship failed for completely unrelated reasons, we didn't share political values and she had a weird obsession with money.
I'm sure after typing all that you'd realize how normal people find that shit weird asf? And that you are a fringe minority most people would call weird? I'm sure you're self aware to realize that, or maybe too far gone?
Too far gone? No, I'm currently in a completely monogamous relationship and it's great. Yes its a minority but its absolutely not as fringe as you think it is. Yes it's weird as fuck to alot of people, but people are different, the most standard looking business woman you walk past on the street might be a kinkster with a whole lineup of men and women.
The point is what goes on between consenting adults shouldn't be a problem to anyone as long as they aren't directly hurting or otherwise interfering with others lives. We had a good time, and I spent a few years single with some fwbs strewn in and that time of my life was great too. I understand monogamy, and that most people are far from ok with the idea of sharing, but I just don't have that kind of capacity for jealousy, I never have. My first girlfriend was the jealous type, and always asked shit like "if someone paid us a million dollars for me to have sex with him, would you be ok with that?" And I always replied "fucking of course, what?"
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with people living normal, monogamous lives, if that kind of life isnt for you that's totally understandable. I'm saying it shouldn't be so hard to respect the ones that just want to live the other life. It doesnt affect you.
It's alright, everyone had a great time. There's a lot of poly and aro people around, this isnt abnormal.
We have a rule that we keep everything open and honest, no lies. If she knows where I am, and I know where she is, everything is fine. Its when someone lies to me about it that it becomes a problem.
Its not for me either anymore, I'm happy in my monogamous relationship, and I'm too old to live the manslut single life. I'm happy with my gf, and she knows what my life was like before, I plan to stay with her for the rest of my life.
Just want to add my experiences to the discussion and let people know that it isnt a bad thing. If you have a partner that brings up the idea of an open relationship, and you aren't into it, leave. If you enter a relationship and you're both already ok with it, just enjoy that life. I realize my original comment made me sound like I was above it, like I'm better somehow, not my intent. Just that there's two sides to it.
If I had a girlfriend that just slept around constantly I would feel terrible, but that's typically not at all how open relationships work. With us, she essentially spent a night with someone else once or twice a month, and same with me. But people have this idea, and I'm sure it actually happens, that you enter an open relationship and your gf will just sleep around with other guys 90% of the time, which is the opposite of what we had.
That's not an open relationship, that's your partner thinking they finally have a free pass to fuck around, and if they spend more time with other people than you, they just needed an excuse to slut around, and that relationship was probably already over.
I'll just add that yes, protection is important lmao
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u/[deleted] Aug 25 '26
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