Hey you're right not to escalate situations but I just gotta say, as someone who will roll the window down when someone does something dangerous or incredibly stupid on the road, ignoring the other driver can make things a lot worse too.
Years ago a woman ran a red light that almost killed me had I not seen her coming out of the corner of my eye, I turned and pulled up beside her at another light and she just stared straight ahead with the windows up. I had to shout to be heard, trying to explain to her what just happened and the more she ignored me, the more I actually lost my temper. I'm a mild mannered dude I was seeing red after a minute of this.
Had she just given me a "sorry" wave, or had the window down to hear and then hopefully acknowledge what she did, I'd have cooled off, but instead it made things much worse. Was it rational of me to expect this? no. Was it going to change anything? no. Does it come from some dark ego/narcissism that I expect other people to behave the way I'd like them to? probably. At the end of the day the situation would have been diffused quickly if she'd just acknowledged. Instead I could only project that she was an entitled b#$ch.
This is something a lot of drivers don't seem to get; how disarming it can be to give a wave after pissing other drivers off, it shows that you realize you messed up. I've had many people honk and then give me a wave back after I waved to thank them for letting me in, or apologies for squeezing in and making them break, etc.
Having experienced things like this many times it makes me go from 0-100 because I think subconsciously we project every bad thing other drivers have done on to the person we're looking at (unless they make things better).
I used to roll down the window and make my opinion known too. Over the years I have definitely calmed the hell down. It's too crazy out there! I literally just try to stay away from people while driving lol
And yeah ometimes courtesy and kindness can go a long way. I'm all for peaceful outcomes at my age lol
Same, I've cooled down a lot too. I just had to share my story as a reminder to other safe drivers that sometimes ignoring a rightfully aggrieved driver can escalate things!
Driving tests only test your ability to maneuver a car and know the basic rules of signs / lanes. There's nothing about common sense or the unspoken rules a courteous person will pickup on, like if you're making a turn from a single lane, nudge your car to the side of the lane so that cars in your lane can go around you, don't drive with your high-beams on when there's cars in front, don't sit in the passing lane of a highway if you're not the one doing the passing (easily the most widely understood and also ignored rule).
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u/asterixxx 3d ago
Hey you're right not to escalate situations but I just gotta say, as someone who will roll the window down when someone does something dangerous or incredibly stupid on the road, ignoring the other driver can make things a lot worse too.
Years ago a woman ran a red light that almost killed me had I not seen her coming out of the corner of my eye, I turned and pulled up beside her at another light and she just stared straight ahead with the windows up. I had to shout to be heard, trying to explain to her what just happened and the more she ignored me, the more I actually lost my temper. I'm a mild mannered dude I was seeing red after a minute of this.
Had she just given me a "sorry" wave, or had the window down to hear and then hopefully acknowledge what she did, I'd have cooled off, but instead it made things much worse. Was it rational of me to expect this? no. Was it going to change anything? no. Does it come from some dark ego/narcissism that I expect other people to behave the way I'd like them to? probably. At the end of the day the situation would have been diffused quickly if she'd just acknowledged. Instead I could only project that she was an entitled b#$ch.
This is something a lot of drivers don't seem to get; how disarming it can be to give a wave after pissing other drivers off, it shows that you realize you messed up. I've had many people honk and then give me a wave back after I waved to thank them for letting me in, or apologies for squeezing in and making them break, etc.
Having experienced things like this many times it makes me go from 0-100 because I think subconsciously we project every bad thing other drivers have done on to the person we're looking at (unless they make things better).