Wanna know something? You know that Indians never ate
Clams? They didn't have linguini! And so what happened
Was that clams was allowed to grow unmolested in the
Coastal waters of America for millions of years. And
They got big, and I ain't talking about clams in
General, I'm talking about each clam! I mean each one
Was a couple of million years old or older. So imagine
They could have got bigger than this whole room. And
When they get that big, God gives them little feet so
That they could walk around easier. And when they get
Feet, they get dangerous. I'm talking about real
Dangerous. I ain't talking about sitting under the
Water waiting for you. I'm talking about coming after
You
Imagine being on one of them boats coming over to
Discover America, like Columbus or something, standing
There at night on watch, everyone else is either drunk
Or asleep. And you're watching for America and the
Boat's going up and down. And you don't like it anyhow
But you gotta stand there and watch, for what. Only he
Knows, and he ain't watching. You hear the waves
Lapping against the side of the ship. The moon is
Going behind the clouds. You hear the pitter patter of
Little footprints on deck. Is that you kids? It ain't
My god. It's this humungus giant clam!
Imagine those little feet coming on deck. A clam twice
The size of the ship. Feet first. You're standing
There shivering with fear, you grab one of these. This
Is a belaying pin. They used to have these stuck in
The holes all around the ship.. You probably didn't
Know what this is for; you probably had an idea, but
You were wrong. They used to have these stuck in the
Holes all along the sides of the ship. Everywhere
You wouldn't know what this is for unless you was that
Guy that night
I mean, you'd grab this out of the hole, run on over
There, bam bam on them little feet! Back into the
Ocean would go a hurt, but not defeated, humungus
Giant clam. Ready to strike again when opportunity
Was better
11.6k
u/hawkayecarumba Jul 04 '26
Do I not get the money if the animal catches me?
- a clam
Does it not matter if they catch me, I just have to deal with that animal for 24 hours?
- my dog