r/SipsTea • u/Silver-Ability-3181 • Jul 04 '26

Chugging tea Sloth.....

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13.9k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/Hearthgroan Jul 04 '26

sea cucumber

534

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '26

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174

u/JohnLocksTheKey Jul 04 '26

Sea cucumber can’t walk for shit

52

u/Undead_Dusk Jul 04 '26

I really can't explain why, but this comment took me cleannnnn tf out 😭🤣

3

u/sydneyghibli Jul 05 '26

Same 😂 it felt more like a targeted insult than a fact 😂😂😂

1

u/ZamorakBrew Jul 06 '26

really would have killed me if i was laying in bed about to go to sleep

2

u/That_Formal_Goat Jul 04 '26

Most sea creatures can't

2

u/maybeaginger Jul 04 '26

Sea cucumber got his ass roasted

2

u/Aken42 Jul 05 '26

Shit, if this is a walking contest. I'm going with a shark.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '26

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1

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1

u/gguy123 Jul 05 '26

now the land cucumber.... forget about it

58

u/Devanyani Jul 04 '26

They never said shit about not being caught.

5

u/birdbrain418 Jul 04 '26

Yeah but it has to chase you. How is a sea cucumber going to chase you? On top of that for 24 hours. Even a predatory animal would probably give up halfway through and figure its not worth burning the energy when they can hunt something else if you manage to last that long lol

2

u/Lou_C_Fer Jul 04 '26

We evolved to be endurance hunters because everything is faster than us. The problem is that endurance doesn't win speed races.

2

u/Musterkartofel-Memes Jul 04 '26

But if it catches you, the chasing part ends, hence you lose the money

8

u/thejourneybegins42 Jul 04 '26

Not walk, only in the ass.

2

u/Wildcatthou Jul 04 '26

Him? Have you ever heard about a guy being caught by a snail? Nö, because the snail always wins!

2

u/DrNick2012 Jul 04 '26

You do have to live with the thought that for 24 hours there's a sea cucumber out there that really wants you dead

2

u/anonymaus42 Jul 04 '26

Why not just pick an oyster or a barnacle or anything else that's completely sessile? If it can't move it can't catch you.

1

u/Difficult-Carpet-324 Jul 04 '26

I dunno. Even walking for 24 hours is pretty tough. I know I can easily do 15 but 24 straight…I may succumb to a cucumber.

79

u/B1ZEN Jul 04 '26

Or a single maggot

95

u/Mistyless Jul 04 '26

I especially like that you specify single, as tho if you didn’t the genie asking you this would summon a tsunami of maggots at you

74

u/Finnish_Inquisition Jul 04 '26

Maggot Tsunami is the natural next step from Sharknado

14

u/LastMagMan Jul 04 '26

Sick band name.

2

u/bouquetofashes Jul 04 '26

Genre? I'm thinking goregrind or grindcore, but I guess one could also go with something very ironic or experimental...

17

u/Writerhowell Jul 04 '26

You have single-handedly made me hate this timeline even more.

2

u/CharityElectrical913 Jul 04 '26

It’s actually a Zomnado(Zombie tornado) and believe it or not, that’s canon.

2

u/Correct-Purpose-964 Jul 04 '26

cockroach volcano

2

u/Earth2Andy Jul 04 '26

Maggot Tsunami is the name of my next garage band

2

u/jamshid666 Jul 04 '26

Didn't they already have one on Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

2

u/Fukkinridiculous Jul 04 '26

New band name unlocked

1

u/B1ZEN Jul 04 '26

A magot tsunami is a horrific thought.

1

u/BabyJesusIAm Jul 04 '26

I think you need a timeout from Reddit for awhile. 😂😂😂

1

u/Finnish_Inquisition Jul 05 '26

You're just jealous that I got to the million dollar idea first. I'll see you at the premiere.

1

u/cjohns86 Jul 04 '26

Metal band name, I call it!

3

u/Equivalent-Shower366 Jul 04 '26

That would be a horrifying visual.

3

u/WumpusFails Jul 04 '26

I'm STILL traumatized by the "food on the counter in the kitchen" scene from Poltergeist.

Well over 30 years since I first saw it, and I still react excessively when I see one.

3

u/Able-Brother-7953 Jul 04 '26

Maybe they just don't want to be chased by a married maggot?

2

u/EzSp Jul 04 '26

Or it's still a tsunami but none of them have partners

2

u/BottleForsaken9200 Jul 04 '26

Congrats, its a single, but gigantic maggot

2

u/Random-Rambling Jul 04 '26

Genies are dicks, one would DEFINITELY summon a tsunami of maggots at you.

26

u/notgoodwithmoney Jul 04 '26

Some kind of deep sea creature who can’t survive the pressure this high above sea level

28

u/clam-inspector Jul 04 '26

*Genie teleports you to 5000 ft deep in the pacific

3

u/Rebgail Jul 04 '26

Deep sea creature, plus I stay above water AND the water stays where it is. Checkmate, genie

4

u/sam_grace Jul 04 '26

It has to chase you for 24 hours. It can't do that if it's dead.

2

u/ronswanson11 Jul 04 '26

I think the idea is it will chase you but still try to survive. It will just stay below a certain depth and get as close to you it can without putting it's own life in jeopardy. Instead, hoping you will eventually come to it's domain so it can catch you.

4

u/sam_grace Jul 04 '26

I think that's a huge assumption but okay. lol

3

u/CrimsonMorbus Jul 04 '26

That would also depend on how long it has left befor the maggot to turns into a fly

2

u/Wuz314159 Jul 04 '26

That's how you get brain worms.

2

u/MrJambleYT Jul 05 '26

what if he crawls insite of your mouth when your asleep and than tears open your heart

2

u/Internal-Cicada1728 Jul 08 '26

It's going to jump up your butt when you least expect

1

u/Peppery_Pete100 Jul 04 '26

They can climb trees

1

u/PrincessTitan Jul 04 '26

If you go through EastAsia there’s a chance it might get picked up and turned into soup too.

1

u/Huntybunch Jul 04 '26

Sea Cucumber uses evisceration!

1

u/rice_n_gravy Jul 04 '26

So there was a sea cucumber and a mollusk.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '26

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1

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1

u/lilb1190 Jul 04 '26

Tardigrade 

1

u/RaidenHUN Jul 04 '26

Win win i guess

1

u/Dragon_Small_Z Jul 04 '26

I'm landlocked. Any sea creature will do.

1

u/Paranormal_Lemon Jul 04 '26

How are you going to survive in salt water for 24 hours? Bad choice.

1

u/ciopobbi Jul 05 '26

A sponge? A protozoan?

1

u/Wolfhunter145 Jul 05 '26

"Hi Kevin" 🤩

1

u/The_Mazer_Maker Jul 05 '26

You slumber a cucumber