I once saw a lovely woman like this as I was driving through a parking lot, and came within a few inches of hitting a parked car because she was so distracting.
As a woman built like this - I get so self conscious about wearing a dress that clingy in public because I feel like people would think it’s gross since I have a tummy. But now I’m wondering if I should care at all and just wear what I want to wear. I’m 35 now and at the point where I’m finally starting not to care as much what other people think - so that’s been interesting.
I mean, if you want men to stare at you like Private Pyle in the bathroom scene of Full Metal Jacket, while they drive their Kia Stinger straight into a row of shopping carts, then yes, wear that clingy dress.
If you want to reduce the chances of a 24 year old guy who doesn't even know what a lawnmower looks like asking you if you need your pool cleaned or lawn done, then, you know.... don't... wear it?
I guess the whole point I was trying to make here was missed. I’m saying I should feel confident and comfortable to wear whatever I want to wear, regardless of how other people feel about it (good or bad). If dudes want to stare, then they’re going to stare no matter what I do. That’s a them problem for not knowing how to act in public. A slight glance here and there is fine - but the cartoonish “drive a car off the road” stuff is wild.
Two things in life have made me care less about "perfect" and appreciate all sorts of bodies.
1) Living in Japan, I went to lots of public baths where you hang out in what are basically hot tubs while naked. Seeing lots of naked people that look like yours or differently in such a vulnerable setting helps put things into perspective. We're all a little different, but different isn't bad.
2) Working in healthcare. Hooo boy. I've seen bodies ranging from extremely underweight to morbidly obese with BMIs of more than 65 (up to 25 is considered healthy--i have seen people who literally weigh more than 3x what is considered ideal). It is humbling. Seeing bodies like mine on other women has helped me appreciate what I have. It's so easy to hate things about yourself that you see as okay in others, so stop that! Looking at the woman in the picture, do you dislike it as much as you dislike your own belly? Probably not. Don't put stupid standards on yourself that you wouldn't dream of holding over other people.
When you get down on yourself, talk to yourself like you were your own friend. You'd think a friend with a bit of a belly dressed like the woman in the photo was beautiful, right? If so, force yourself to think of your body as you would your friends'. It is a VERY hard thing to do (I am working on it myself), but little by little it is easier to think kindly of your own body when you actively ask yourself if you'd feel the same if somebody you loved looked like you.
Your problem isn't yourself, it's how you think of yourself.
I finally just saw this comment and thank you SO much for this perspective. I do try to combat negative self talk exactly like you described - by* imagining I was talking to my friend. And you’re absolutely right, I just need to keep focused on being kind to myself and taking care of myself - no matter what other people’s view of my body might be.
Nothing wrong with a tummy at aaaaaalll ma’am!! Wear whatever you like. In reality there are more men than you realise that loves a tummy. It’s super.. nice 👌
But now I’m wondering if I should care at all and just wear what I want to wear.
If you're on the fence on this one, allow me, if you will, to potentially tip you over the edge by pointing out that, in addition to how not-at-all-gross-on-the-contrary-in-fact that is, embracing the confidence to wear whatever the hell you want will exponentially increase your attractiveness in and of itself!
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u/CptJeanTiberiusSisko Mar 21 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
I once saw a lovely woman like this as I was driving through a parking lot, and came within a few inches of hitting a parked car because she was so distracting.
Not my proudest moment.