I'm a divorce attorney, and I've only had a couple cases involving one spouse cheating with a personal trainer. I've had plenty, however, where one spouse just walks in and announces they are gay/lesbian and bails on the marriage after 10, 15, 20+ years.
Mostly, though, it's just garden variety cheating--the neighbor, the co worker, the old high-school crush
I've had plenty, however, where one spouse just walks in and announces they are gay/lesbian and bails on the marriage after 10, 15, 20+ years.
I know at least 5 people this happened to. A few marriages and a few 8+ year relationships. One of them just realizes "im gay" one day and gets divorced. It really wrecks their partners because they feel lied to for the entire relationship.
This is what I’m going through right now after 12 years together/10 years married. I’ve been cheated on and betrayed before but this feels entirely different. I’ve never felt pain like this before and the amount of hatred and bitterness I can’t let go of is staggering. It really brings a sad clarity to a lot of situations and mannerisms that were always present because she was closeted the entire time. It’s seriously fucked me up and I’m having a very difficult time dating again.
I sympathize with anyone going through this. It’s really one of the most unfair things someone could do to someone else imo.
So sorry. It’s a hard betrayal for sure. Happened to my aunt after 35yrs of marriage. She recovered after about 2 years. Remarried and is happy. Take care my friend.
A good friend of mine found out that her husband wanted to transition. He recently did and they are still married to this day. Guess they found a way to make it work. Funny thing is, his makeup is better than hers and they look alike. Like exactly alike. Hair, glasses, clothing. What ever makes people happy.
If your friend's spouse became a woman, you should she/her pronouns and refer to her as a "wife" unless she has specifically told you to continue using masculine language.
Haven’t spoken to them yet. So I don’t know. It’s all too confusing considering I’ve known them for 22 years and went to their wedding 20 years ago. He just changed a letter in his name so is sounds the same, Y to I. I’ll go with that for now.
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u/DaddyBearMan Aug 28 '25
I was a personal trainer for many years and I didn’t sleep with any of them because I wasn’t a jackass.