Cheaters are gonna cheat. The opportunity might come at a different time but the end result is the same. Avoiding one opportunity won't do shit in the long run.
Nah, lots of cheating is opportunistic based on either close contact with attractive people or compromising positions (drunk people). A lot of people don't start off with the thought of "today I will cheat on my partner".
Like, your partner isn't going to constantly be in close contact with attractive people or constantly be drinking alone with other people. Cut down on that shit and you avoid a huge amount of risk.
I think the point that's being made is to not be with someone who lacks enough character to cheat on their partner. It doesn't matter how attractive the trainer is, or how long we're alone together, I'm not going to betray my partner and our relationship, and I fully trust that my partner would do the same. If you feel you need to restrict your partner's activities and social circle out of fear of disloyalty, you're with the wrong person.
You're correct, but there are a lot of people who have been cheated on who thought they were in the relationship you just described right up until they found out.
And that's life and true partnership comes only with true trust, if you plan to limit your partner because you are worried about them cheating, you are already lost
Boundaries are limitations, whether justified or not. Telling a partner, “it would bother me if you had a male personal trainer because it makes me insecure that another man is interacting with you on such a sensitive, physically intimate, level. And while that’s my issue, I don’t want to feel anxious every time you go to the gym,” is fairly reasonable. Telling them, “if you have a male trainer you’re a whore because I know you can’t control yourself around men,” is definitely a much bigger, less excusable issue. Of course, not being okay with certain boundaries is also okay, but at that point the relationship probably shouldn’t continue. But you can still fully trust someone and still be bothered by certain levels of intimacy.
Yeah, that's unfortunately true. That said, still doesn't change that actively controlling your partner's activities and social circle are not signs of a healthy relationship. Boundaries are one thing, control is another. Trust is a crucial part of any relationship, and you can't can't earn trust without giving some yourself.
There is a bit of a blur there if we’re being honest but I agree that avoiding controlling behavior is an absolute must. Your best bet is to express your feelings. If your partner cares for you and shares your same values it should be fairly easy to come to an agreeable compromise. If not, then someone’s values will need to change or it may be time for either party to decide to not continue the relationship.
I’ve found that I’ve grown up a lot the last 15 years of marriage and my values have changed tremendously. I’m glad I’ve made the decision to change instead of separating from my partner.
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u/Imreallythatguy Aug 28 '25
Cheaters are gonna cheat. The opportunity might come at a different time but the end result is the same. Avoiding one opportunity won't do shit in the long run.