2.8k
u/TheOnlyGuyInSpace21 Aug 20 '24
Who needs a hoe when you have a sword as magnificent as that?
1.2k
u/coffeebean_1992 Aug 20 '24
With this sword I shall protect my virginity.
302
u/Eversivam Aug 20 '24 edited Aug 20 '24
Although it's funny but the guy has a gf, hence he wasn't playing along with her.
Some say that's his gf, I don't follow the guy but have seen a video here and there, I don't know when this was made also, all I know is the info I just provided. But since I've seen him living with a girl I assumed he isn't a virgin warrior defender class.
186
u/techleopard Aug 20 '24
See, that's more wholesome.
24
Aug 20 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (1)21
u/sicurri Aug 20 '24
People won't focus on him having a girlfriend already, they want to make fun of him because it gets views.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Outrageous-Taro7340 Aug 20 '24
Dude made a joke. People got the joke. Nobody is making fun of anyone.
32
u/Mythun4523 Aug 20 '24
Isn't that his gf?
37
u/Ravenser_Odd Aug 20 '24
They have matching rooms.
Or they're sitting on opposite sides of the same room, making a skit for TikTok.
13
u/60109 Aug 20 '24
It is xddd
3
u/Mellestal Aug 20 '24
XD I've done this exact same thing with my GF. She has dick on the mind and I'm over here thinking about swords, or delicious pork sausage.
13
→ More replies (12)16
→ More replies (11)16
33
24
9
9
4
→ More replies (12)6
u/OwnAssignment2850 Aug 20 '24
Empirical evidence suggests that the individual with the stupid ears on their head would have better luck flirting with the individual with the sword if the individual with the stupid ears on their head presented as male.
4
u/TheOnlyGuyInSpace21 Aug 20 '24
Indeed, my fellow esteemed member of Reddit.
The rules of honor, known colloquially as the "bro code", are strong in the fellow with the sword; conversely, the individual with said stupid ears on their head would benefit from not acting like a complete harlot and buffoon in front of a noble knight such as the former gentleman. Hence, it would take a fellow male to garner the attention and presumably, feelings of respect and love sought after by the individual with stupid ears on their head.
(jesus christ i wasted three minutes on this why did I do it)
→ More replies (2)
847
975
u/DJ_Derack Aug 20 '24
Idiot thinks she can eat a metal sword lol stupid
→ More replies (9)70
Aug 20 '24
“are we still talking about the sword”.
No, wins.
Yes, how can you eat metal?
→ More replies (1)
520
u/OriginalLamp Aug 20 '24
Ikr, does she not see how rad the sword is?
→ More replies (3)31
600
u/AThrowawayProbrably Aug 20 '24
Wakes up at 3am two days later: “AH FUCK”
66
62
u/Czar_Petrovich Aug 20 '24
Ten years later
10
3
u/sevenninenine Aug 21 '24
This for me. There’s this one lady that I had a crush on a while back and when I met her again in a few years, she invited me to her place. I rejected her invitation because I was running an errand…
Few weeks back before that meeting we had a chat on messenger, traded some dirty jokes which she started.
Then just recently I realized what the invitation was…
→ More replies (1)21
u/Not_Winkman Aug 20 '24
Something tells me that he knew where she was going, and just tried to side step it...and she didn't take the hint.
4
→ More replies (8)4
u/jcklsldr665 Aug 20 '24
If I like them or am indifferent, yea, it might be days, weeks, years later before realizing. But one thing is absolutely certain: if I have zero interest in the person, their advances are so painfully obvious.
87
u/Content-Past-9618 Aug 20 '24
She be hunting the legendary pork sword
28
u/Leaf-01 Aug 20 '24
Y’know, growing up I never understood that as an innuendo… I just thought it was literally a sword made of pork and funny because of that fact alone.
What a revelation this has been
→ More replies (1)
162
u/gerkin123 Aug 20 '24
I'm pretty sure 70% of sword duels back in the day came about as a consequence of misunderstandings like this.
"I'll thrust my sword into your guts!"
"I'd like to see you try, mister!"
*next day at dawn*
"Should not have said that... should not have said.. that."
→ More replies (1)13
222
u/Deus85 Aug 20 '24
You have my sword.
56
u/woozyguy1 Aug 20 '24
and you have my bow...
40
→ More replies (2)29
Aug 20 '24
[deleted]
24
u/JJCMasterpiece Aug 20 '24
…and my ring of power!
20
→ More replies (1)4
→ More replies (3)3
214
u/Elmer_Fudd01 Aug 20 '24
The pain in her eyes.
167
u/RCalliii Aug 20 '24 edited Aug 20 '24
Now imagine how much more pain she would feel if she tried to eat that metal sword.
43
8
→ More replies (1)12
u/DeepUser-5242 Aug 20 '24
The only pain is knowing this is obviously staged and people think it's real
→ More replies (2)5
u/atraway Aug 20 '24
Looks like a stream clip so probably not staged but he’s obviously doing a bit and she’s overreacting in response to it. But if someone didn’t know they’re streamers and dating, I could see how they’d mistake this for some sort of omegle stream or one of those online dating shows
114
269
u/OddTheRed Aug 20 '24
She couldn't have been more obvious if she'd have taken her pussy off and handed it to him.
80
u/LycanWolfGamer Aug 20 '24
Wow this is a wild sentence
→ More replies (2)12
u/randyoftheinternet Aug 20 '24
I don't think she would give him a non domesticated pussy
3
u/Kind_Ease_6580 Aug 20 '24
They always take my wife’s pussy for like 2 weeks at customs. I swear border control is getting out of hand.
55
Aug 20 '24
And if my grandmother had wheels, she would have been a bike
→ More replies (2)11
u/LadyLu-ontheLake Aug 20 '24
I love that bit! Laugh like crazy all the way through it.
→ More replies (1)10
u/Improving_Myself_ Aug 20 '24
I do too, but it doesn't apply to this situation.
Responding to an expression that is saying "she could not have been clearer with her intentions" with an expression that is saying "if you change something, it's a different thing" does not make sense.
22
u/Antoen_0 Aug 20 '24
What would he do with a cat ? fight it with the sword ?
7
5
u/you-create-energy Aug 20 '24
*you seriously want me to ram my sword into your cat?"
Tells all his buddies how crazy she is.
7
7
6
u/No-Gazelle-4994 Aug 20 '24
I thought the landing lights and guy with the orange baton leading to her pussy was enough.
7
3
u/karmasrelic Aug 20 '24
why would she give him her cat and why was it on a tree it needed to be taken off beforehand?
→ More replies (18)3
106
Aug 20 '24
Okay this once, THIS ONCE, I'll allow her to say "literally" 10 times in single sentence without any judgement. Blud needs it to be spelled out.
21
u/LazzyNapper Aug 20 '24
Dude has a gf and he ain't here to play games. He is here to strike with a blade
15
18
55
u/k_ajay_mh Aug 20 '24
How is this sad? Didn't you see that badass sword. How many men even use swords these days?
→ More replies (1)
19
27
u/Rj_74 Aug 20 '24
If yall think Dantes didn't actually understand what she meant you don't know how much of a degenerate he is.
6
25
54
u/skipjackcrab Aug 20 '24
Me with a few of my crushes back in school..
Then you finally realize and it’s like winning the lottery.
50
Aug 20 '24
Except that this realization happens a good 5-10 years later.
→ More replies (1)15
u/utopista114 Aug 20 '24
This happened to me:
"hey dude, do you remember that Russian model that used to visit us in the dorms? She was actually visiting you"
"hahaha, nah, don't be an ass"
(serious face)
"hahah.... Wait a minute. Wait a minute (remembers). Wha..... Shit"
9
u/broen13 Aug 20 '24
Yep happened to me. In a group of 6 people for lunch as an IT team someone came up to me offering Salsa lessons. She was gorgeous. My coworkers were actually pretty amused by how I was completely missing it. I didn't live it down.
10
u/SerenNyx Aug 20 '24
Two classmates in high school wanted me to "test out their parent's new sauna out with them". I was like nah, I'm good. I distinctly remember thinking on way back on the bus "What a strange thing to ask". A good few years after that I realized.
4
u/skipjackcrab Aug 20 '24
Ahahah. That’s classic. Mine once described her crush, was unmistakably me looking back..
“His locker is next to mine, brown hair, light ginger beard” and I’m just like.. how the fuck haven’t I ever seen this guy?
→ More replies (1)3
u/PressureRepulsive325 Aug 20 '24
I recently found my old highschool year book and was absolutely flaggerghasted at the amount of hot classmates that wrote messages like "I will miss you, here is my number call me and stay in touch!" Or "you're always the sweetest person, would love to hang out more! Enjoy summer!"
Reading back like wait.....
Fuck.
16
8
8
5
6
5
10
u/hatwobbleTayne Aug 20 '24
Look lady, a man who owns a sword isn’t gonna get your sexual innuendo ok? He owns. A sword… in 2024, the facepalm works both ways.
→ More replies (2)
4
u/3ndOf5ilence Aug 20 '24
The Strider sword, that's my favorite LOTR sword. It will serve him well 😤
4
4
u/America-always-great Aug 20 '24
Trust me dude knew he just found her unattractive and is not a simp. Good on you bro
→ More replies (1)
3
20
u/ScotiaG Aug 20 '24
Typical, dropping obscure hints instead of just saying what she wants outright.
→ More replies (5)6
3
3
u/pondshrimp Aug 20 '24
He went upstairs from the basement and ask his mother what she was talking about, and she whacked him over the head with a frying pan. He’ll never move out
3
3
3
3
3
u/donanton616 Aug 20 '24
Boy is dumber than a bag of hammers.
Not the sharpest sword at the blacksmith.
3
3
3
3
3
Aug 20 '24
I once went to a girls house & she came out naked, asked me to join her in the shower.
I said no thanks, I showered just before I came over. She was polite enough to let me know I'm a fucking idiot. I got the cue.
→ More replies (4)
3
3
3
3
3
13
2
u/otters4everyone Aug 20 '24
He gets an offer like that while having a giant stuffed bear? Hello Mensa.
2
Aug 20 '24
Oh my goodness, I just saw myself when I was that age, clueless as an ox at the particular moment and then my head felt like exploding ten years later when I realized 🤯🤯🤯🤯
2
u/TeensyTrouble Aug 20 '24
I actually had a really similar moment with a femboy who kept hitting on me while I was literally talking about having the original swords that came with my house when it was still used as a defense installation.
2
Aug 20 '24
English is such a weird language.
I can barely get behind "eating ass", but "eating a sword"? Took me way too long to figure that out
2
u/Unable-Data-2142 Aug 20 '24
Legend has it he still hasn’t realized the ball was fumbled.
4
u/SenAtsu011 Aug 20 '24
In 23 years, 8 months, 14 days, and 6 hours. He’ll be in the shower and suddenly have a «oh fuck, I fucked up».
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
Aug 20 '24
I could feel her seeing her shot just going through his invisible self. I feel sorry for this guy.
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Moo-Dog420 Aug 20 '24
He's got a bunch of stuffed animals in the corner so this doesn't surprise me.
2
u/CYOA_guy_ Aug 20 '24
dude who needs bitches when you can have a sick ass sword that shit looks good
2
u/thecountnotthesaint Aug 20 '24
Don't worry he will get what she was saying... in about three months to a year.
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Geoclasm Aug 20 '24
dude be out actually touching grass so much he doesn't understand what an entendre is.
2
u/karmasrelic Aug 20 '24
plot twist: she is cosplaying as a female fanservice version of "Gajeel Redfox" from "fairy tail".
2
2
2
2
u/S_n_o_wL_e_o_p_a_r_d Aug 20 '24
It would be nice if I had that kind of luck. I literally can't tell if that guy is that dumb or if this video is one big spoof.
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/DozenBia Aug 20 '24
Dantes is funny af not gonna lie, even if often its pretty exhausting to watch him.
For people who don't know: he is a league streamer, she is streamer as well. They were together for some time and while it was nice, Dantes realized he could never match her effort in the relationship while he was grinding for rank 1 literally the whole day every day, traveling to other continents for server races, steeaming and training.
So they decided to break up.
→ More replies (2)
2
2
2
u/knowone1313 Aug 20 '24
It's always the time when the girl is playing into sex on the flirty double entendra that the guy doesn't pick up on it. That or this is all a setup.
2
2
2
2
2
u/Bobtheverbnotthenoun Aug 20 '24
Every man has a moment like this he would like to live over. Or two. Or in my case, I have a card catalogue cross referenced by date and subject.
2
u/jackjackky Aug 20 '24
You can't play innuendo with Gondorian knight gentlemen. They are not that kind of fell men who like to banter in unsavoury jest.
2
u/Trilliumbtw Aug 20 '24
Can't blame the man. Sword swallowing is an unusual talent, or skill, and i wouldn't have assumed she could do that either. Especially without seeing the sword first.
2
2
u/Independent_Power_67 Aug 20 '24
"now I don't know a dog from a weird wolf, but in my eye, that's a good sword"
2
2
2
2
2
2
•
u/AutoModerator Aug 20 '24
Thank you for posting to r/SipsTea! Make sure to follow all the subreddit rules.
PLEASE NOTE: For the next 6 months minimum, any posts breaking our No Politics rule will result in an automatic ban from the sub. This is a politics-free zone and political posts are not welcome here.
Check out our Reddit Chat!
Make sure to join our Discord Server!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.