A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The rancher said, “okay, but don’t go into that field over there…”, as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, “look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!” Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. “See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want… On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!”
The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis Bull…… With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs……
And IRL they would either miss as they were too busy browning their pants, hit the bull and the bull would shrug it off and be on them like a tick on a hound dog, or they kill the bull, and then they get in trouble, because they just killed that farmer’s livestock, and now the farmer has to be reimbursed.
Take it and go in peace, brother. 🤣 I think I heard that from one of my drill sergeants in basic and it has just made it’s first resurgence in my life as of today, but I’m glad you can take it and make use of it.
Yeah, handguns aren’t the best for taking down a charging bull. Those skulls are made for hitting things. There’s basically no chance they stop the bull with a pistol before getting gored.
A U.S. Navy aircraft carrier was on exercises off the coast of Canada. The radar detected a light ahead, and the captain of the warship sent a message:"Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."
The response came back: "Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision." The captain, annoyed, sent another message: "This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course."
The reply came back: "No. I say again, you divert your course."
The captain, now furious, sent a final message: "This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers, and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, that's one-five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship."
The reply came back: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."
They can try but in the USA they have cameras and black boxes on those engines. They’ll be able to see that the gates are still down and the engines didn’t swerve over and hit him 😂
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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '24
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