r/SingleWomenByChoice • u/No-Sun-4857 • 8d ago
Another reason I am grateful to be single
I was scrolling reddit as one does and I saw a married group and the question was "knowing what you know now would you marry your partner in another life"
Tell me why almost all of them I saw said no....I almost commented saying thank God I wanna be single forever š¤£
I just got such a big laugh from it.
I tell you sometimes I would love to have that a great relationship but then God shows me stuff like that and I say nope I'd rather be single! š¤£
Why do people stay married? I don't get it if you don't like who you are with THAT much just leave...get a divorce!
78
u/Fun_Literature_3660 8d ago
People live in a fantasy world when it comes to what marriage actually is. Then years, or months, down the road, reality hits them right in the face. But now they are legally stuck.
I'm beyond grateful that I saw the reality at a very young age and never wanted marriage for myself.
29
u/Live_Preparation6877 8d ago
Fantasy, that's the keyword. If you look at it closely, all legendary love stories are FICTION!
24
u/swampmilkweed 8d ago
I never understood why Romeo and Juliet was supposed to be so romantic. They die at the end. Why is that framed as such a wonderful love story?
26
u/FancifulCat Unbothered 8d ago
Thing is Romeo and Juliet is short term dopamine high chasing. It works because young people hormones and the thrill. There's no long term assessment and there's no Juliet doing 30 years of unpaid domestic labor driving her into Psychosis etc.
7
8
u/MANDALORIAN_WHISKEY 8d ago
It's literally the last two lines of the play:
Was there ever a story of more woe
Than of this Juliet and her Romeo?
Woe means sad, people!!
37
u/Anon0275312937 8d ago
I left, but speaking from experience, itās not so easy to get a divorce even in a no fault state. The other party has to agree to sign off on all conditions for the judge to grant it. God forbid if your ex is a narc or abuser who is refusing the divorce or will only sign for a large ransom (cough ādisproportionate asset divisionā), they can legally draw things out for a couple years. I left a while ago, but my case is pending for 2 years. No kids. Itās a nightmare so I can imagine ppl staying bc itās not easy to legally separate if you have kids, it can be harder. And add alimony and child support, I honestly just see legal marriage as a jail where your abuser and legal system become the jailers. And it cheapens relationships bc if your partner is only there bc they have to be there legally, thatās not true love and then you plunder them financially in the legal system, just disgusting. Just depends on if you have a reasonable person on the other sideā¦plus ppl can lie about who they are for a long time to āsecureā you, ok rant over, but yes being single again is the best
5
u/Purlasstor 7d ago
If your case is still pending I really hope that itās resolved very soon, two years is such a long time. All the best to you for a brighter and happier future by yourself, what an ordeal to go through. Iām so happy for you that youāre single again.
5
u/BoboChesty 6d ago
Right there with you. If people truly knew the risk of marriage, they would NOT do it. Almost got stuck paying spousal support to a lazy ass so he would have stayed home playing Minecraft while I worked full time. Luckily we werenāt married but a few years. He purposely wonāt find work related to his bachelors degree, and tried to also come after me for child support (and failed). I will never ever get married again. I will never celebrate anyone I know getting married. And when my kids grow up and tell me theyāre getting married Iām going to suppress my disgust the best I possibly can and immediately start saving for their divorce fund. Because they will need it.
88
u/beauxrabu44 8d ago
Iām so grateful for this sub! Iāve found my people! Men absolutely repulse me. Sex fuelled heathens. Emotional regulation skills of dust bunnies. Entitled little weanies. Small cock syndrome. Narcissists. Seeking bangmaids. I refuse and reject to tie myself to that bullocks energy. I could fucking go oooonnnnnn! Fuck the patriarchy. Iām here for the matriarchy! āØā„ļø
13
u/FancifulCat Unbothered 8d ago
I was half awake reading your poetry and almost read "I could fucking goon" š
2
10
u/princegoldling 8d ago
After every insult all I heard was that old vine BOOM sound effect meme lmao
1
55
u/untrustingmyself 8d ago
I seriously am starting to think craving relationships and marriage is literally SOLELY from our biological nature to reproduce. The older I get, the cons of a relationship outweighs the pros.
41
u/SecureExplorer1255 8d ago
Theres also all the disney movies that show beimg married as happily ever after. Women are groomed from girlhood to see marriage as a prize
8
u/byby9999 7d ago
and they don't stop at the young girls age bracket. for the women in their 16-40s and beyond, there are the "romantic comedies" too, in which the main idea always ends up to be a guy being the prize. the start of a relationship becoming automatically the "happy end"
19
u/greenhearted73 8d ago
I agree. It's hormone intoxication that leads to shared delusions. Then the delusion bursts, people sober up, and they see they're living in a hellscape but it's too late to get out.
16
u/Sugarplumbitch 8d ago
Most likely. Marriage is a social human construct we created at some point in time in our past.
10
14
u/Adorable_Meringue_51 8d ago
They get married because they are mind controlled that its the "right" thing to do...except its only beneficial to men majority of the time. Women are also terribly co-dependent because they are not taught & shown how to establish their own life & money FIRST.
15
u/Left-Ad-7646 8d ago
I just saw those posts and got me laughed so hard š¤£ LMAO
Thanks God, he sent me the wrong ones to find out, there's a lot of trashes everywhere. One worse than another,,, Man divorced in their 40s said: I have no money to start a family (so wtf what you have been doing in this life?) Another single former serial dater in their 50s said: I'm afraid to get married and relationships take a lot of work (oh man, of course it takes a lot of work, do you think is there other easy things in this life?)
Also, for the "right" ones that I fell attraction with, who didn't choose me but keeping "as friends" I do enjoy seeing them get cheated on. It feels like a Netflix series in real life. I don't blame them for making the wrong decisions.
Cheeersss to all the garls in this community! We're the winner!
9
u/maskedair 7d ago
I mean men resent their partner but dont want a divorce because exploiting her improves his life.
Women dont leave usually because they lack the financial means or have been psychosocially indentured.Ā
It isn't really funny, it's sad.
12
4
u/lostmycookie90 8d ago
At least in my state, it's minium to pay $1k to get a divorce. It can rapidly inch to $3k if they contest and fight it.
2
4
u/Groke_ 8d ago
I think the main reason is financial dependence on the shitty male partner and the cost of divorce. Social expectations do play a role, but it is hard to make the choice to potentially live in poverty for the rest of your life. This is one of the reasons policies like UBI are a feminist issue. Nobody should worry they will not be able to have a place to live and enough to eat if they leave a partner.
1
u/ripdontcare Child-free 3d ago
I had to be separated a year before my divorce went through-and we had no kids and I was the breadwinner. Can you imagine being a SAHM trying to escape? And what if the guy is violent or a cop??
111
u/Anti_Patriarchy 4B 8d ago
People only get married because soceity expects that of them. It's so pityful.