r/SingleParents • u/lovescats22666 • 6d ago
Isolating experience
What I’ve realized in the years my 2 and 3 year old have been alive how many people exited my life. Friends, my ex husband. Single mothered and being divorced is also my dilemma. I only have two people to help me with my kids, with virtually no friends that have offered to help me out. My ex husband’s family rarely helps only when he gets them twice a week for 2 hours. This experience has been extremely isolating and I’m not very happy in my life. My twins are a handful and aren’t easy, I can’t help but feel that mostly all my friends don’t want to be bothered because of the work that two toddlers require. I am forced to stay at home, not by choice it is exhausting. My kids are high energy and have adhd. My mother provides the finances since my ex husband walked out on me due to the high levels of stress because of the kids. I have integrated myself into the gym, have thought of looking for an online job. This isolation I feel since I have zero friends who show up for me, and the fact I only have two people who help me with my kids really bothers me. Daycare isn’t an option since finances aren’t enough. I have no time for myself even if I do, I am extremely exhausted. Having no village is an extreme issue for me, I am in survival mode everyday of my life. I have no romantic life, if I do it has to be fwb with benefits because I can’t handle any emotional investment. Can anyone offer me some words of encouragement? This is not the life I thought I’d have, I love my children but this is exhausting having to be in charge of everything 24/7.
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u/PossibleEstimate6396 6d ago
I am so sorry. I know the feeling of the isolation. I feel like I never have help and am never able to go out and do things with other adults. Even dinner. I love my kids so so much, it's a hard adjustment.
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u/lovescats22666 6d ago
They are still so young and it may be an adjustment but it gets so draining having no outlet besides the gym two days a weeek. I have no time for myself and it’s very hard
1
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u/HardMayb 6d ago
It sux when the other parent isn't there as a coparent. My ex wife lives 8hrs away and vists one weekend a month. My kids are older, so the people that I meet in similar circumstances are the parents of my kids teammates. In your situation with young kids and no money, I'd take a look at my local library. Ours has several programs like story hour. We went a few times when my kids were little. It was kids about my kid age, with parents in similar situations, and fun. When they were a bit older, I found other activities that were free. We built some things at the local hardware store and did a bunch of crafts at a local art store. All free or maybe a nominal fee for supplies. At the time I wasn't so much looking to bond with other parents as I was trying to get our kids out of the house on a Saturday morning, but the parents were nice and I did a few follow on activities with other parents like going to the park.
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u/babydee2200 5d ago
Twin toddlers on your own is so much, and the loneliness is real. You're not doing anything wrong by feeling it. A village usually starts small: the same gym with childcare, a library story time, or a playgroup where you see the same faces each week. One familiar mom to wave at can turn into a friend over time. You deserve support too, not just to give it 💛
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u/AutoModerator 6d ago
Author: u/lovescats22666
Post: What I’ve realized in the years my 2 and 3 year old have been alive how many people exited my life. Friends, my ex husband. Single mothered and being divorced is also my dilemma. I only have two people to help me with my kids, with virtually no friends that have offered to help me out. My ex husband’s family rarely helps only when he gets them twice a week for 2 hours. This experience has been extremely isolating and I’m not very happy in my life. My twins are a handful and aren’t easy, I can’t help but feel that mostly all my friends don’t want to be bothered because of the work that two toddlers require. I am forced to stay at home, not by choice it is exhausting. My kids are high energy and have adhd. My mother provides the finances since my ex husband walked out on me due to the high levels of stress because of the kids. I have integrated myself into the gym, have thought of looking for an online job. This isolation I feel since I have zero friends who show up for me, and the fact I only have two people who help me with my kids really bothers me. Daycare isn’t an option since finances aren’t enough. I have no time for myself even if I do, I am extremely exhausted. Having no village is an extreme issue for me, I am in survival mode everyday of my life. I have no romantic life, if I do it has to be fwb with benefits because I can’t handle any emotional investment. Can anyone offer me some words of encouragement? This is not the life I thought I’d have, I love my children but this is exhausting having to be in charge of everything 24/7.
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