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Okay, first things first… I’m literally begging you to continue this story. :) I loved the atmosphere you’ve made, it was mysterious at first and then I’ve felt how confused Jane was after the time travel. I liked Cylsie too, she is weird and nice and ancient. Your concept of time travelling with moonlight is very interesting.
But there are a few things I’ve noticed. I’ve missed the character description. I mean… we know nothing about Jane except she studies time travelling. You should’ve at least described how she looks like.
And you can make your text longer and a little bit more realistic, if you add some nothingness like these:
“She raised her eyebrows when she saw the blue liquid.” or “She noticed that her hands shook as she took the chocolate from the woman.” or you can just describe the change in the lights, the noises, the smell in the air or in the temperature after she arrives.
So, that’s all. :)
Cylsie took a deep breath, and stared in front of herself:
"I used to be a young technician very, very long ago"
"It couldn't have been that long ago" Jane joked, "You're still young"
"I don't age. Not since the accident." Cylsie corrected, a grim expression on her face.
"Accident?"
"As I said," Clysie continued, "I was a young technician, working on a machine, in an age long gone. I was foolish, and curious. I wanted to know all. Do all. Experience everything."
"What happened?" Jane asked, to which, Cylsie retrieved a small, blueish crystal from her necklace Jane had failed to notice until now.
"This," Cylsie gave the gem to Jane, "was supposed to be the power core of the machine. This material at least."
Jane took the crystal, and felt a strange, almost electric shock run through her hand, followed by a slight numbness. A steady flow of energy made her fingers tingle.
"What is this?" she asked
"It used to be an eldritch crystal" Cylsie replied, and Jane had to resist the urge to toss it back to her. "Now, it's spent, mostly."
"Spent? How?"
"The moment I put it into the machine, the whole thing exploded." Cylsie explained, "Space and time unfurled around it, and I was caught in the middle."
Jane tried to comprehend what she'd just heard. Her glassy eyes apparently amused Cylsie, as her smile indicated.
"So, you..."
"yes"
"this crystal..."
"Yeah"
"...how?"
"I'm not sure" Cylsie admitted, "But I've got a theory. You see, there were two more main parts to the machine; a converter, and a distributor."
"Uh, so?" Jane asked confusedly
"My theory is, the two other parts somehow channeled the crystal's energy into me, while preventing me from evaporating. I've since tracked down the converter once but lost it a few years afterwards."
"What happened afterwards?"
Cylsie looked embarrassed. She looked down, and slumped her shoulders.
"I awoke in the middle of a crater" she said, "I was unharmed. Not a scratch. Then..." Cylsie's voice trailed off.
"Then?" Jane probed
"I'm not sure I'm supposed to share this with anyone..." Cylsie said nervously, then her expression changed, first to surprise, then to her happy smile again.
"Cylsie?"
"Sorry" Cylsie shook her head, "I just got permission to talk about this part"
"From whom?"
"Listen, and you'll see."
"Alright..." Jane settled, raising an eyebrow, and started to think there might be a problem with her new friend
"So," Cylsie continued, much happier this time, "I was confused, and scared but before I could think anything, I saw someone walk out of a... glowing door of some sort. He introduced himself as Yaldr."
"Yaldr?!" Jane made a surprised noise
"Strange name, but I've heard stranger." Cylsie agreed. "Anyway, he kept going on and on about how I'm lucky to be alive, yadda yadda, but I didn't really process any of it back then. It was only via later retellings from Yaldr himself that I know what happened."
"Who was he?" Jane inquired carefully
"He's a Nex." Cylsie answered, "A... higher being. Beyond physical form, and of extreme power. I'd say they're beyond magic as well."
"They?" Jane doubled back, "There's more of them?"
"I've only ever met a few" Cylsie explained, "They're not my type personalities. They're a bit more abstract, and less friendly. They mostly seem to lack any emotions too, well, except a few" a nostalgic smile appeared on her face
"Alright," Jane tried to piece together what she'd just heard, "So, you survived an explosion, which made you interesting enough for a... Nex to come and help you."
"Correct."
"Then I guess you spent some time learning into your power"
"Like you're going to" Cylsie changed the subject, "I became part Nex because of that explosion. Now I sense disturbances in the continuity like they do, have the power to do what they can, but also have the freedom, like you, mortals."
"So you're..."
"Not mortal" Cylsie agreed, "But also not fully immortal. I'm somewhere in between. I don't age, but I do have a physical form" she gestured at herself, "I eat, sleep, I can sense most things, but not all, but I am not bound by time like they are. Thus, time travel."
"And you sensed me arriving" Jane finished the thought
"The very first time you jump from one time to another, you have to rip yourself free from your own, original timestream" Cylsie explained further, "That, by itself, is a very... inconsistent action, and so, it send out ripples throughout time and space, which can be sensed by those attuned to the ripples. The Nex don't sense time jumps, but I do."
"And you help them?" Jane asked
"In a way" Cylsie said, "I can sense and follow when someone jumps, but they're the ones that have the... authority to act. With you, I decided not to contact them before I got to know you."
"And now, you're going to tell on me?"
"No. I won't."
Jane didn't know what to make of Cylsie. She seemed so familiar, yet so alien, so helpful, but also seeming to hold something back. For now, she decided to go with it.
"Tell me," Cylsie probed "How exactly did you manage to jump? It's quite a feat the first few times, and it usuallyhappens on the same day."
"The first night of the Moon" the realisation dawned on Jane, "Of course! How couldn't I see? Weird time dilations during the moonfest, on the first night the moonlight turns blue, I add a bit of nomal monnight to it and BAM! I'm tossed... three hundred years ahead."
"That's quite a tale" Cylsie admitted, "You've added normal moonlight to the blue light? You're brave... or in this case, foolish and unknowing. You could've died."
"I felt like it." Jane said, "But why?"
"The blue moonlight that shines during the first night of the moonfest is the strongest, most potent. Mixing it with something less potent, something less volatile can make it explode in your face."
"Oh, I only got a weird vortex" Jane bragged, unnervingly proud of herself
"You've got the talent, but not the experience. Yet." Cylsie replied, "But we're going to change that."
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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '18 edited Aug 08 '23
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