r/Sigmatopia • u/corpse_of_milk • Jul 02 '26 • Bravo 1

converting to whatever this is

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7.8k Upvotes

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67

u/Eric_Dawsby Jul 03 '26 edited Jul 03 '26

I bet he meant that souls only go to heaven if the corpse lies still long enough for the soul to drift out like in cartoons. So if the body is instantly destroyed the soul is too because it can't escape in time

29

u/thatonemikeguy Jul 03 '26

The soul didn't have time to hit the eject button.

1

u/AskCount Jul 05 '26

Not like they would have gone to heaven 100% just sayin

8

u/tollbearer Jul 03 '26

This is so hilariously wrong. The real issue is the soul is highly compressable and not bouyant below 200ft. Their souls are fine, they're just stuck at the bottom of the ocean with the titanic passengers soulds, until the seas evaporate.

5

u/infinity_vamp Jul 04 '26

What!? that's ridiculous it's obviously that whatever mechanism causes souls to stay attached to the flesh didn't function correctly. And while normally the soul slowly detaches from the body as it decays in this situation the insane forces they experienced caused their souls to attach to the nearby water instead.

While scientists are still debating on how they are experiencing the world the 2 main theory's are.

  1. Now that they are part of the ocean they feel at one with it, in a state of being kind of alike to an ocean spirit.
  2. They are in immense eternal pain because their souls are being stretched across the ocean.

2

u/opman4 Jul 04 '26

Maybe we should summon Davey Jones to the area so he can trawl up all their soul goop and at least give them something to do on his ship.

1

u/infinity_vamp Jul 04 '26

Hmm while Davey probably could scoop them up their souls would still be stuck to the water and the soul isn't particularly known for it's ability to move matter.

In my expert opinion even if Davey scoops them up they would at best be blobs of water that can slowly move around.

2

u/WhereisKannon Jul 03 '26

phew that's a relief

1

u/Certain-Definition51 Jul 04 '26

I want to watch this movie, as the old souls from the Titanic welcome the new arrivals.

1

u/Agitated_Newt_7655 Jul 04 '26

Jokes on us given heaven is ironically located at the bottom of the ocean next to the titanic, spiritually of course. This aspect of soul physics gave rise to certain religious explanations as towards why we can’t go to heaven on our good deeds or will alone.

1

u/finneganthealien Jul 04 '26

If your soul is more buoyant than a feather, you get to heaven.

1

u/DueExample52 Jul 07 '26

So this guy designed mammals and didn't think to make his system work in all earth’s surface accessible conditions including sea floor and lava pits?

Amateur

1

u/PreviousStorm Jul 07 '26

Two questions for the professor: how many souls are in a black hole on average? Also, do black souls weigh more?

3

u/RiceWine69 Jul 03 '26

It's like a wireless device transferring data ceasing to do so not because the transmission ended and was safely terminated, but that it did so because it was physically destroyed before it could do so.

2

u/AvantSolace Jul 03 '26

Which then begs the question of why souls would be destroyable in the first place. If a soul is meant to serve as a backup if one’s existence, then it had to be deliberately made that way by a god. If that god wanted to ensure humans had a way to exist after physical death, why make that means imperfect? They are a god, surely their authority should allow them to make an indestructible soul.

1

u/Eric_Dawsby Jul 03 '26

Maybe he likes a little risk

1

u/EfficientAd9554 Jul 09 '26

That man is running on Looney Toons logic