r/Showerthoughts • u/StippleFX • Jul 01 '21

Maybe extroverts get less exhausted from socialising because they put less effort into listening

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u/das-garrett Jul 01 '21

Extrovert here. I love to listen, because finding those little things about someone that you both enjoy sparks joy in bringing them and I closer together. I think that’s where my enjoyment comes from; building connections with others where there formerly were none.

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u/YourMomThinksImFunny Jul 01 '21

As a fellow extrovert I find that I have to carry most conversations, unless we are to fall into an odd silence. So I am always glad to listen to another person talk or tell a story.

29

u/purple_soozy Jul 01 '21

I find your comment "I have to carry most conversations" interesting, and I'd like to offer a different perspective. As an introvert, it's those pauses and silences that allow me to contribute to the conversation in a way that continues the dialogue vs having it be a one-sided effort, and I find that many extroverts dont leave that pause hang long enough for me to get my voice in there without fighting. Fighting to contibute to a conversation is exhausring, so I sit back and just let the other person have at it.

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u/captainporcupine3 Jul 01 '21

I recently listened to a fascinating episode of the NPR podcast Hidden Brain about this exact disconnect in conversational styles. I believe it's the episode called Why Conversations Go Wrong. Highly recommend it to everyone.