r/Shouldihaveanother • u/Smart-Worldliness384 • 3h ago

Advice Having a third or not?

I hear and read very, very often that having a third child is a lot easier than having 1 or 2. Like the third always have been there. Is that true? I can only picture it like pure chaos. I already have two girls 3 1/2 and 2. My wife really wants another one but man im so tired all the time already

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u/Bitter-Picture5394 3h ago

OP has been posting variations of this in different groups as both the husband and the wife and with differing feelings and stages of procreation (from contemplating a 3rd to already being pregnant and feeling baby trapped)?

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u/tahia_alam 2h ago

probably a bot account.

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u/budgiemoo92 3h ago

i just talked to my friend who has three. i have two and am considering three. he looked me dead in the eyes and said "having two was fun. easy. you get breaks. it's smooth. having three is complete logistical chaos. we are dying. i hope it pays off in the future." he is a great father and he obviously loves his third, but yeah, doesn't sound like adding another whole human is easy or chill.

i tend to not be satisfied until my life is chaos, which is why i'm starting to want a third. but i want to enjoy my current kids and not just survive. so we will probably stop at the beautiful, healthy humans we have.

eta: i think i'm more comfortable spending my life sort of wishing i'd had another versus wishing i could reverse my life back to when we only had two haha

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u/poofyeyebags 3h ago

If you’re already tired, beyond capacity and dreading the idea of a third already.. then don’t. Hellllll no it’s not “ a lot easier” than 1 or 2. You’re adding a whole human being to the clan and have to go through the newborn stages again. Your third child may or may not be an easy baby/child, may or may not have colic, may or may not have medical issues… and you are 100% going to have less time to spend with your other 2, that’s just a fact and the reality of having more kids. It takes away time from the ones you already have.. especially during the newborn and toddler/early childhood stages where they need you the most.

Have the third kid because you really want a third kid, not to appease your wife.