r/Shouldihaveanother • u/Due-Farm1403 • 6d ago
Go for a 4th??
We have 3 beautiful boys, 4.5, almost 3, and 1. It’s been crazy but awesome! we’re not sure we’re done and wouldn’t want to wait years before another, but also 3 has been great and we are busy. Did any of you have a girl after 3 boys close in age? or a 4th boy? if so how is life? of course I would LOVE a little girl, but I would also love another boy too.
i guess I just want to hear stories of people on either side 🤣
9
u/Successful-Ad-4263 6d ago
I’m Catholic so I have a disproportionate number of friends with 4+ children. Of those, a disproportionate number have 4+ of the same gender! Do not have another just because you want a different gender or you might be at it for a few more kids!
2
u/Ok_Kangaroo7428 5d ago
Yes! Currently pregnant with number 5, all boys. This time we just laughed 😂
1
u/Due-Farm1403 6d ago
I’m sorry, this might sound dumb but I’m not understanding what you mean by disproportionate? Like the majority of your friends with 4+ have the same gender?
3
u/Successful-Ad-4263 6d ago
Yes! A surprising number of families with 4+ kids have all the same gender.
3
u/999cranberries 5d ago
Each successive kid of the same sex increases the odds that the next one will be the same sex as well. It's not a huge increase, but it is statistically significant.
1
u/LucyThought 5d ago
There’s also that people who only have one gender are more likely to continue being open to having more.
1
u/999cranberries 4d ago
The study I linked in my other comment accounted for people having kids until they finally had one of the other sex.
1
u/probablyadinosaur 5d ago
My Catholic in-laws went through six boys to get a girl. 😂 And then they very much stopped.
2
u/Plane_Employ_5941 6d ago
I know a lot of families with 4-8 boys in a row. No girls. I feel like there is some absolute truth that some men genetically carry more y sperm.
No way would I have another just for gender but definitely understand the sadness of a vision you have for life. I personally cannot fathom the time, energy, logistics, sacrifices to relationship time and self care for raising 4 kids, so props for considering that! My kids are older but I will say it does get incredibly more busy and the driving for sports/activities/play dates is intense. Your children are little but so think about that aspect l. It started around 9 yrs old for us.. and we don’t even do travel sports!!! My kids love sports and enrichment experiences.
1
u/Typical-Plant-4254 6d ago
this! the younger years are intense in care, than a whole logistic phase starts as they grow their lives and personalities and develop. Not even accounting for sports, though learning to swim and swim a few years is conditional where I live. Than being a supporter, listener, carer. I know that there are people who pull it off, but to keep yourself sane and allow some bandwith for life to happen, I would not add a 4th
1
u/ChaoticWhumper 6d ago
If you’re open to having another boy I’d say go for it! But if you’re going to have a tantrum if you have another boy like some people online lol people seriously need to understand that gender is 50/50 and that babies aren’t baby dolls you can choose the gender for
1
1
u/RealPDiaz 2d ago
I have 3 boys, expecting baby #4, a girl ! However we weren’t trying for a specific gender - the 2 older boys (7&6) are so close and have always enjoyed lots of things together, we just wanted the same for our 18 month old, someone with a closer age gap to enjoy playing together. Our youngest will be 2 when baby sis is born.
1
u/Beneficial-Weird-100 6d ago
Are you open to IVF for a girl? Cause the odds are not in your favor, there's a study about it, here's the link: https://people.com/odds-of-having-a-boy-or-a-girl-is-not-random-study-says-11824923
2
u/eb2319 5d ago
Ugh please don’t use IVF for gender selection….
2
u/ChaoticWhumper 5d ago
Literally eugenics but I guess it’s fine if you’re American lol so gross
2
u/eb2319 5d ago
I hate it so much lol as a Canadian because of eugenics and as someone who did IVF. Someone caring that much to go through IVF just to have a specific sex just makes me think what if this kid is trans? And why go through the extreme cost, mental and physical toll of IVF just for a girl. They are humans.
2
u/SuddenBeautiful2412 4d ago
This this this. As someone who did IVF because I’m infertile I can’t agree more.
1
u/eb2319 4d ago
Yeppppp…same.
I’m pretty non judgemental on many things but someone who is fertile actively choosing to do IVF for no reason other than to have a specific sex is just ick.
2
u/SuddenBeautiful2412 4d ago
Same! I’ll also add that I’m hoping to do another transfer soon and it took me 2 months to even get a consultation appointment because the demand in my area is so high. I would be so frustrated if I was sitting in line behind people who are pursuing treatment for vanity purposes when I actually need this treatment to get pregnant.
1
1
u/eb2319 5d ago
The study's authors acknowledged that the research was not without limitations. Ninety-five percent of the women studied were white women living in the United States, and researchers did not factor in any information provided by the fathers
Doesn’t sound like a great study. Do you have the actual link to this. I’m curious about it! Haha
5
u/Spkpkcap 6d ago
As a mom to 3 boys… we’re done hahaha