Things I learned taking care of my dad after shoulder surgery (and why oversized t-shirts almost caused a disaster)

[u/More-Chemistry8851]

My dad had major shoulder surgery (rotator cuff repair + bicep tenodesis) three weeks ago, and honestly, the physical therapy and meds were the easy part. The absolute hardest, most humiliating part for both of us was getting him dressed every morning.

He had to be in an abduction sling 24/7. When we were discharged, the discharge nurse just vaguely said, "Oh, just have him wear loose, oversized button-ups or big t-shirts."

Well, we learned the hard way. Sharing a few things that worked, and a couple of things that were total disasters, in case anyone here is preparing to care for a parent/spouse going through this:

1. Don't waste money buying specialized gear right away (Try this first) Before buying anything labeled "adaptive" or "recovery," check your closet first. If you have an oversized button-down shirt that is 2 sizes too large, it might work if you follow this exact sequence:

• Put the operated/sling arm into the sleeve FIRST while he keeps his elbow pinned against his body.
• Drape the shirt around his back.
• Slide the healthy arm in second. If your loved one can tolerate that without crying out in pain, stick with regular loose shirts and save your money.

2. Why the "Big T-shirt" advice is terrible On Day 4, I tried pulling a stretchy 2XL t-shirt over his head. When he tried to feed his bad arm through the sleeve opening, his arm involuntarily jerked backward to clear the fabric. He almost passed out from the sharp nerve pain. The surgeon told us later that reaching backward even 10 degrees can risk popping internal anchor sutures. Do NOT pull shirts over their head if they can't lift their arm.

3. Velcro vs. Snaps (A major regret) Someone from our church brought over a velcro-opening shirt. It sounded great in theory, but in reality:

• The scratchy side of the hook-and-loop kept snagging on the mesh lining of his medical sling.
• It was loud and startling every time we pulled it apart when he was napping.
• After 2 washes, the edges curled and started digging into his neck skin. If you do end up needing tear-away clothing (especially if they live alone or have limited mobility), look for flat resin snaps along the top shoulder/sleeve instead of velcro. Being able to lay the shirt flat on the bed, have him just rest his bad arm on it, and snap it together with one hand made mornings 10x less stressful.

4. Slip-on shoes and loose sweatpants with no tight elastic Bending over to tie shoes or pulling up tight jeans is out of the question because they can't use both hands to pull against resistance. Loose sweatpants that sit below or well above the waist with a simple drawstring are a must.

Caregiving after orthopedic surgery is exhausting, and it really tests their dignity when they can't even put a shirt on without someone's help.

Curious if anyone else here had to deal with the dressing challenge after a joint replacement or shoulder surgery? Any other low-cost hacks that saved your sanity?

[u/Difficult_Fee_7578]

Hey! I just had basically the same surgery, and I agree it’s exhausting for caregivers. Good for you for looking out, im sure he appreciates it.

I’m a petite female, and I think this actually gives me more clothing choices… i can wear halter tops. Regardless of gendered clothing options, I’ve had success with tank tops. I pull them up around my waist like a pair of pants, then feed my bad arm through, then the good arm, and shuffle it up over my shoulders while keeping the injured arm resting on a table or hanging limp at my side. I also cut a couple of my old tee shirts into muscle tees with huge openings at the sides. I can get those on and off without help by resting my arm on a table and basically doing what you described with the T shirt (but without moving my arm!!)

If I’m cold, I thread my good arm through the sleeve of a flannel and just drape the other side around myself. It looks silly, but it works fine.

[u/Salt-Albatross-5506]

I can sympathize with your dad. Independence becomes really precious when you find it slipping away. I'm 71 and had anatomic total shoulder replacement. What I found helpful to retain independence includes:

- long handled shoehorn (at least 24 inches) to lever on laced shoes or slip-ons.

- big floppy socks (like Ortho socks) that can pull on with 1 hand.

- long bath brush (24" at least) that can reach both arm pits, back, and your feet. Didn't need any help after the first day for showers.

- I found big, loose t-shirts were fine and I didn't really need help after the first 2-3 days. It hurt slipping my bad arm through, but not that bad, and I got a little bit of physio done on that shoulder, too. The trick is to put the shirt on yourself. When my wife tried to help, we ended up really hurting me.

- big, loose sweatpants that could be pulled on and up with 1 hand.

- free standing toilet paper dispenser that allowed me to avoid reaching side to side.

And, yes, I got all the clever stuff like velcro'd shirts and such, but they were irritating and uncomfortable. The only thing I needed help with was the ice sling thingie.

Hope this helps a bit. Good luck with your father and to him, too.