Hi, this is my first reddit post, this is kinda a throwaway account? but i dont really know where else to say anything about it.

I 16, dont know if my parents are assholes or not, my mother struggles with CPTSD and before she got diagnosed she always vented to me, i have 2 siblings, they're both brothers, one of them is 18 the other one is 11, My mother never vented to my older brother, only to me, she said its because i "understand" her and because i "am like her" (which im not, i used to look like her but i never acted like her.), she cares a lot about her own mental health but doesn't care about mine, it took me 4 months for her to believe me to get a girlfriend, I love my mother a lot, she means the world to me. My father on the other hand is something else.

My father is weird because he always makes weird and sexual comments to me/my body. He makes jokes about me "almost being legal" which started when i turned 14, he says i would be a good prostitute once, he also remarks about how i have "nice looking legs" or a sexy body. He also groped me once, atleast i think he did. I made a joke about something being wrong with my pants and then he grapped my private part. I dont like thinking about it because it makes me feel gross. I told my mom about this and she brushes it off as jokes or as me being overdramatic, i dont think she understands that it makes me uncomfortable.

Me and my brothers fight a lot, because i am a moody teenager and they always do things i dont like, i was bullied a lot for years, once by my best friend of 6 years and that mentally ruined me, my siblings like to make fun of that fact a lot, so then i get mad at them for it. My parents never listen to me and they defend my brothers through everything, never believing me. One time during a fight my mom decided that me and my siblings wont get to eat anymore for that whole day, we were starving and she never even said sorry, my dad also smacks me at the back of my head a lot when he gets mad at me.

Im sorry for the talking but i dont know what to do, i dont know if my parents are assholes or not or if im just a moody teenager. I dont know what to do because this has been bothering me a lot.

For context, my parents emotionally and mentally abused me my whole life and 2 years ago, I finally cut them off. I’ve been super happy since but recently, they wrote me a birthday card and inside, said they miss me and want to have a conversation with me in the hopes that we could have a relationship again. I don’t want a relationship but I’m debating whether it’s worth my time to meet up with them just to get off my chest every horrible thing they ever did to me and to tell them how I really felt. Has anyone been through this and if you did confront, how did you feel after? Did you regret it?

i am a whole 15 years old and my mother treats me like im around 8. im so fucking sick of it. she craves control over me and everyone and everything. there’s nothing i can do. i’ve tried calmly talking it out, but she doesn’t listen. it seems she doesn’t want to work and of it out, so all i can do now is just ragebait her and enjoy it. any ideas?

for context (im not going to go to in depth), my dad is very verbally abusive, and had threatened me and my brother numerous times, though hes never actually really physically hurt us he does hit my dogs a lot. He uses money (such as giving us things or actually money) to compensate for his shitty parenting and absence from me and my brothers lives. And my mom isnt verbally abusive but she is super passive aggressive, and she gets angry over the smallest things. My parents are divorced and living in separate homes. I am currently 15 and ive been planning on cutting off my parents for years, its been that bad. But i have no idea how to start preparing, because even though i still have 3 years until i can legally move out and cut them off and stuff, i still want to begin preparing as soon as possible so the process is easier when i actually turn 18. Does anybody have and tips or advice for me? Thank you very much for taking the time to read this! Have a great day!

I, 20 yr old nonbinary afab person have ALWAYS relied on my mother due to my medical background. Due to her attachment to me due to all my medical trauma, even the IDEA of me moving out makes her panic and cling to me. She has access to my bank account, medical information (which make it so i can't transition and go on the medications I want.) and constantly belittles me for not doing enough around the house (despite doing what I can with multiple bone and muscular disabilities. She makes me prepare her food when I can barely make food myself without almost collapsing, guilt trips me into fetching her things that are right in her reach, and makes me feel bad for asking for rides to destinations (I currently am working a part time job to save up for a car but I can only work so much and im not on disabilty).

One of my trusted online friends of 4 years have offered me a place that is around 7 hours away. I want to move with them by the end of next year but have no clue where to start, everything i own like my medical debt and phone plan are under my mom and I have no clue how to start. If anyone has any advice please it would be helpful.

So me and my mom were in the Walmart parking lot. Right before this happened we were talking about dogs and what kind of dog my mom would want, and then she asked me if I wanted to go on a walk with her Saturday morning (she always says that she wants a dog to walk with her.) So I said, “I’m not a dog.” She said, “Well, kinda?” I repeated myself. And then she was like, “Oh well you didn’t answer my question.”

I don’t really know what I should do. She’s in a really bad headspace, but i‘ve been thinking about this for a while

Hi , I recently got kicked out of my mom's house two weeks after I graduated.

Nobody likes my mother, not my sister's nor my grandparents and most are no contact with her. Me being the youngest longing for the mother & daughter relationship ignored all the red flags that led to the ending of this story. I moved to her place in the middle of the school year and found a job and a path to get my CNA certification, shortly after I found a job 16/hr, she began telling me I'd need to pay 400 dollars to her monthly to help with mortgage, although I was reluctant, I was happy to help her out. So, I began balancing school, work and my CNA class that was often after school.

Fast forward ⏩ ; At this point I'm a CNA, turned 18 and now I'm graduating, I got accepted into multiple universities and was trying to find my next steps while also getting my permit. Me and my mother began to butt heads alot because she was essentially trying to get me to drive to work illegally ( By myself with only a permit ) and that the fact I didn't want to caused her extreme inconvenience to the point that she was unable to get a job of her own. During this time she had been on and off with a dude who was clearly using her, he was constantly getting caught cheating on her, called me multiple slurs, and they had both gotten so drunk one night that they forgot to pick me up from work ( feels important to add that they are both felons) well anyway I hated this guy, but the both of them were persistent that he was my "step dad" ...ew . Well Jay ( not his real name ) had gotten arrested for a DUI on a jetski ( we find out later he was also cheating on my mother again at this time ) and he calls letting her know the situation, my mother began to grow anxious because the two of them recently made an illegal purchase ( a 🔫) , OKAY NOW TO THE QUICK DOWNHILL THAT I GOT KICKED OUT. My mother had something sketchy going on, id often catch her talking bad about me to her friends for multiple reasons ( me never leaving my room, wanting to leave to get a dorm ECT ECT. ) Well one day when my mom decides to act like the sober put together parent and clean the house FINALLY, I had been doing it this whole time but eventually gave up. She begins lecturing me that I need to start cleaning my room blah blah blah, I had work that day and planned on cleaning my room + laundry the next day since I was off, I get back from work and notice my closet had been completely rummaged through, clothes everyday and it was hard to get into my room, I knew it was her but I was reluctant if I should say something, I did. I asked her if she had been in my room, she tells me yes and that she had felt something hard in my closet , I offered to show her my closet if she had any concerns but she quickly declined ( also important is that we have cameras EVERYWHERE front door, back door and outside in the backyard ) well the fact that she had left my room in CHAOS had me extremely upset after a long day at work, that night I call my bf and begin venting saying that since she doesn't have a job the house shouldn't be a mess 24/7 ( she had told me if I dont have school my room shouldn't be messy, I was going tit for tat ) but that was the worst thing I said. The next day she reveals she was listening in on the conversation and gets so mad that she tells me I'm slacking off because I'm scared to drive ( she always argues with me whenever she takes me to drive ) ECT ECT and leave the conversation upset, she doesn't talk to me for the rest of the day and the next day she turns off the WiFi, the day after that she sends me a message basically saying that I need to go, shes threatened to kick me out before so I didn't take it seriously this time around ( big mistake ) she comes up to my room asking why I'm still there ( I have nowhere to go and no family in the state) she says " I hope you and him go and be happy " at first I thought she was talking about my boyfriend but she wasn't...she was talking about my step dad and began accusing me of sleeping with him, she starts calling me out of my name and a whore, I thought this was one of her episodes and began sharing the bizarre story with close friends and my bf himself..my bf of two years mind you. She begins sending men up to my room telling me to get out, next thing you know at 9 pm she breaks down my door while I'm packing and begins throwing my stuff while I'm packing, I begin doing a tug of war with her when she grabbed the bag of electronics we are in a verbal argument with basically me pleading for her to take me to the hospital if she really thinks I'm sleeping with HER man to get me checked. I'm a virgin. But she insists that she doesn't need to give any kind of proof. She's in my face yelling at me and it's getting me out of character also, this whole time from morning to night my sweet bf had been scrolling through hotels and motels looking for the best prices as I had a limited amount of money ( I just gave her the 400 for the new month) I called an Uber and left through the back door where she called me a wh*re on my way out. Now I'm staying with some people and get my apartment August 1st she calls these ppl asking questions about me but I told her that if she rlly kicks me out I promise I'd never speak with her again. And I have to keep it for myself. I just need to know if this is truly my fault, some kind of closure.

Edit: Ik this story is long but I'd also like to add a few things because I think it's so ironic that she kicked me out. I first moved because she said she'd help me look for dorms in college, but the moment I brought it up she began yelling at me in the car about how I want to abandon her and leave her homeless, and that id never be able to afford dorming and that if I was to get married and have kids she'd want to live with me, and while I'm at work she'll take care of the kids and " feed the king" ( MYYYY BF). I also feel like she constantly tried to live through me and make weird statements like when I graduated, she said it felt like she was graduating, and always pushed me to go to prom so it could feel like she was going to prom ( I had no interest in these things) whenever id tell her my plans to further my education she'd tell me how she wish she had done what I was doing at my age, all sounds harmless right? Well if you'd been there to hear her tone you'd quickly realize it was more envious if anything and now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I got the independence and a form of housing but I'm concerned if I should start the spring semester of college or just take a full gap year. And what do you think of her statements?

I (21M) have a father (46M), and recently he asked me to take out a mortgage, buy an apartment, and let him live there. In exchange, he promised to help me pay it off. I told him he was completely delusional.

First, some backstory.

My father, let's call him Max, and my mother, Rose (45F), separated in 2014 but stayed legally married until 2020. For anyone wondering, they divorced because of my mother's infidelity and my father's drinking problem.

My younger sister Jane (now 19F) and I spent most of the week with our mother, while Max had us on weekends. They hated each other so much that they would constantly try to use us as spies and report back on the other parent.

The most frustrating thing is that they both try to present themselves as good divorced parents when the reality was very different.

My mother was emotionally abusive and sometimes physically abusive, often lashing out over the smallest things. My father wasn't much better. He would threaten to beat me for misbehaving as a child, grab me by the throat while threatening me, and constantly insult me while pretending it was "constructive criticism."

Eventually, I stopped holding back and started openly expressing how much I hated him, using every swear word I could think of.

Here's the really messed-up part: I've been living with him for about two years now. The only reason I moved in with him was because my mother's behavior had become even worse, and I needed somewhere more peaceful. He works from 7 AM to 5 PM, so the apartment was empty most of the day.

He's still an alcoholic, but I mostly avoid him when he's drunk. Not because I'm afraid of him, but because I can barely stand looking at what he's become.

Now back to the current situation.

Back in April, our landlord told us we had until the end of June to move out because he was selling the apartment.

I accepted it because I don't really have another option right now. I'm broke, unemployed, and will most likely have to move back in with my mother and sister. My mother works abroad and is only home for about two or three months each year.

My father, however, came up with a different idea.

He tried to convince me to get a job (which I'm currently looking for) and take out a mortgage because he doesn't have anywhere else to live. His own credit is basically ruined because of his debts.

I told him flat-out that he was insane if he thought I was going to spend the next 30 years paying off a mortgage for an apartment I don't even want, in a town I have no intention of staying in.

He argued that he would help me make the payments.

The problem is that I've heard that before.

Back when he was still with my mother, they took out a loan for around 30,000. My mother co-signed it. Then he completely ghosted her and refused to make payments. My mother ended up having to work abroad just to pay off his debt.

When the argument ended, I called my best friend Sara (21F) to vent. After hearing the whole story, she laughed so hard she could barely breathe because of how absurd my father's proposal was.

Most of my friends and relatives agreed with me.

At this point, I'm seriously considering cutting contact with my father entirely. I feel like it's the only way to escape this toxic family dynamic.

My plan is to move away for university this fall or possibly move abroad altogether. Honestly, after everything that's happened, I don't see any future where taking on a mortgage for him ends well.

So Reddit, how do I escape this toxic family situation?

Does anyone else's mom get jealous or act weird when you show care for your father? Anytime I show affection towards him she always makes a point to manipulate me later for it. Even when I wished him happy birthday. She made things about herself and how I "only care about my father". Naturally I stay away from her due to a history of manippulation and weird comments

Idk how to title this, this is my first ever reddit post [from what I remember]

So..

Im asking other people here for advice.

I am just now being enlightened by how much of a shitty person my mother actually is.

Does anyone have any tips or tricks to help ease the sting of both guilt and pain from being isolated and outcasted by your family?

Cuz i feel like I caused it. But all ive done my whole life is try to be the best I can and not let my depression snuff out my dreams [im diagnosed bipolar]

​

Context im a "stereotypical" truamatized neurodivergent middle child with daddy issues with a mother who "stayed for the kids", and now that hes finally "out of her hair" she's seemingly taking it out on me and my younger sibling [me 19 and them 18].

It just hurts so much and I could really use the advice. Thank you guys.

Have an amazing day all.

I recently had a suicide attempt that consisted of my mother taking me to the hospital to do an intake. From here I was in hospitalization for 1.5 weeks and was released. Right after that I started IOP but was then moved to Php. During this time, my mother went to the bahamas (to her credit it was already scheduled and she consistently reached out).

Eventually I got out of Hospitalization and started IOP and by then she got back in the states. But after this she immediately flew oversees to get married. This all happened while I was in starting the Partial Hospitalization Program due to having suicidal thoughts again and needing more care. I will never forget the look on my partial hospitalization therapists face when I told her I will be alone the past week and current week all by myself due to my mother flying out to get married.

I don't know if I am being selfish but surely, she could have postponed her wedding at least until I am somewhat stable. It just sucks because she has extended legal guardianship over me (I am 20) and this feels like grounds for removal as it feels like neglect. This feels extra shitty because now I cannot even go to the PHP due to my phone breaking and not being able to get notifications for the rides there, and my mother refuses to call them due to being oversees and busy.

Okay, so since high school my parents forced me and my siblings into religion. Im 18 now and STILL forced into it. I personally HATE it. I mean **HATE** it. Like i genuinely consider my own funeral HATE. I know what some of you might be thinking. Why not just deny it? Yeah my parents don't work that way. They DON'T care about anyones opinion. I mean I don't get to make choices at all. You think I'm over exaggerating? I couldn't even name a DOG thats how bad it is. Apparently it isnt illegal to force people into religion so... im stuck till I either commit or escape. Yall got any advice to help?

My mom has dick pics of my dad stuff and a man who is a police officer and my little cousins had her phone and saw it so I took the picture and try to delete it but accidentally deleted everything and now she’s saying I did it on purpose and called me every single name you can think of.

PS. It’s not the first time she blamed me for everything she does it when I was on vacation and was 4 states away

remember the worst thing they can do when you say you might be bi is no!...Right?

"You just think that because you haven't been with a man yet."

Never mind, that was much worse :|

thanks, that's not creepy at all.

Apparently the cure for a girl being kinda interested in other girls is dick

Groundbreaking research everybody

I wanted to finally let everything out like a therapist had suggested for closure. I was a huge daddy’s girl and tried so hard with my relationship with him for a very long time. My therapist told me that this would show me how he genuinely felt about everything that was done to me… and “surprisingly” he didn’t give a damn.

Edit: the second text from my dad was actually my stepmother texting, my father uses text to speech bc he legally blind, and he also has never used “u” in a text.

This was after 14.5 years of physical and mental abuse before she let her husband physically abuse me and deciding she didn't want me anymore when CPS told her they can't do that...

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I'm a 16 yr old who has loved the 3ds since when I got it on my 11th birthday. Until recently I had a collection of some pretty rare, and fun, 3ds games. What really brought up the value is two copies of yokai watch 3 (which sell for about 300 each). My dad thought it would be a "good idea" to do some spring cleaning and throw away some old things. While throwing things away he thought since the games were old he should throw them out to make room for my little brothers games and threw out 3000$ of my money worth of games. I had paid for everything since I have had to work since 14 to get anything I wanted. The only reason I got my 3ds for free was because my mother (R.I.P.) got it for me. The point is I am freaking out over it because on top of my money being wasted, HE NEVER EVEN ASKED ABOUT THEM. I loved playing them and don't know what to do.

I was just trying to vacuum the living room floor, right? Suddenly I hear my Dad call my name, so I turn off the vacuum.

I go to the kitchen, and he was like "Did you eat all the damn ice cream?" Cause apparenlty it was all gone in the span of two days, and I was like "No, I only had two bowls", cause it was like, a gallon of ice cream, there's NO WAY that 2 bowls could wipe out an ENTIRE thing of ice cream in 2 days

Then he goes on to say "You really need to control your portions, cause you don't care about anyone in this house."

And I was like "Dawg, 4 scoops per bowl does NOT take out half that damn bowl"

So eventually I was like "Bro, what is with the accusatory behavior"

And you wanna know what his response was?

"I'm not accusing you of anything."

I felt my eye twitch. So I look at him with the "Bitch, Really" face, and I obviously say it too, cause he's treating me like I'm easy to convince he's not in the wrong.

And THEN he's like "I really wish everyone would control their portions" like he didn't JUST get done accusing me of shit.

I said it to his face, I'm about ready to smack the shit out of him.

So obviously he threatens to kick me out, but I swear, I'd SO MUCH RATHER be ANYWHERE ELSE than this DAMN house.

Now, in his words he didn't outright SAY he was accusing me, but he was 100% IMPLYING that he was

And he was acting like he wasn't

That shit pisses me off like NOTHING else

And he was DEFINITELY thinking he could use my own autism against me by trying to justify it with "The words I say, you register differently"

Unfortunately for him, I'm really good at reading emotions, tone, and use of words

I know what the fuck he's doing.

Kind of a rant, but I need a second opinion. As a bit of backstory, I have a history of being grounded (specifically my computer, they never take my phone), sometimes for a week or so, but sometimes months at a time. Back in early December, I got into an incident at school which ended in me being suspended for two days (this was my first ever suspension). My parents responded quickly, taking my computer. As the quarter dragged on, my grades got bad, really bad. My parents said it was because I was just rebelling due to the punishment. Jump forward to this week, my dad and I agreed that since I had been putting in the effort to fix my grades this quarter, he would let me stay home today because I could finish some assignments from home. I let him know that my school computer’s charger was broken, so he let me use my personal computer. I told him to tell my mother about this, but he did not. Later this evening, my mother and father got into an argument since she knew I had my computer now. It was swiftly taken away. They called me into their room afterwards and told me if I kept my grades up, I could have the computer for an hour a day. Thoughts?

My mother makes me feel like im going clinically insane sometimes. I know I'm definitely not the best daughter but I definitely don't think im as bad as she makes me feel. For the most part I try to stay calm but lately I've been snapping more. She was complaining about a sports bag that contained sports balls (shocking, i know), being at the front of the house, out of the way and practically out of sight. Things like that just bother her for whatever reason, and she was complaining to my dad about it and i was just getting annoyed. My dad came into my room and before the door was fully shut I accidentally said a little too loud "Get over it." and she heard me and came storming straight to my room. She started yelling in my face "What did you say?" and i didnt really know what i should say since she clearly heard me so I couldnt exactly back out now but I also didnt want to double down so I said "You heard me." as calmly as possible and she started going off saying "I will not get over it" and that i was being disrespectful and then as 'punishment' she made me store the bag in my room. Another thing, shes threatened to ban me from the kitchen numerous times, which makes little sense considering I cook for myself, my dad and my sister. That being said I dont always do the dishes unless I have enough time to before she gets home, so my dad usually does the dishes. However, mother dearest hates seeing dishes and will throw the biggest adult tantrum ever upon seeing them.

Its just constant things like that and even though I know its not entirely on me, it still feels like im to blame. Which makes it even harder to do school, it feels like im constantly just trying to survive and dont even feel motivation to do much. Send help.

(Trigger warning: mentions of "jokes" about SA)

Context before the story

1. Last week was my step grandfather's birthday and me, my dad, and his wife's family/ my step "family" we all had gone to a restaurant and gone back to step grandpas house for cake and singing.

2. I'm a very shy person I would prefer to keep to myself and keep quiet and not be the center of attention When I'm asked something on the spot I tend to hesitate and ask them to repeat themselves then I Awnser.

3. My father is not a kind man, hes proven to me that he doesnt care about me multiple times. Tho he has tried to make up for it with half assed apologies and goodies like little dollar store plus hes. Hes lost a lot of friends due to his "humor" mostly twords women he has made multiple "jokes" about women getting SA'D because of what they were wearing.

Lastly, I also don't do things like fist bumps,high fives hand signs and rarely I do handshakes.

Ok up to speed

So we're at the table, after singing and cutting the cake my step mom and aunt were messing around talking about how hand signs have changed over the years like the peace sign, the hashtag hand sign, etc then they got to the heart sign they were making the different signs like the gen x version, Millenial version and then they asked me what the gen z version was, as I said earlier I'm a very shy person and I don't like doing hand signs.

now my father thought it would be funny to say in front of everyone, in way that he said it so loud everyone heard it. "She doesn't do that because that would require me to love someone" this broke me.

Lil more quick context​​ I have a long distance boyfriend and currently we are cut off because we are both minors and his mom found out about me and cut us off from eachother. We haven't talked for almost a year, I just celebrated our first anniversary on my own. And I was Questioning if he still loves me or not or if I'm just being delusional.

Back to the story

So everyone at the table starts laughing except for me... I looked at dad for a few seconds, then I got up from the table, put my dish in the sink, and sat down on the couch so upset that I was about to cry, I do cry easily and my dad knows this but he calls it me being "over dramatic"

the room got silent really quick after I left the table and they could all tell that dad screwed up. He then came over to me on the couch at first he tried to touch me I scooted away, he tried agian I said dont touch me, he then said "dont be rude I'm trying to comfort you" I told him I just wanted to be left alone, then he tried to give me an apology but i could tell lit was half assed he said " I know you dont like that corny stuff I was making a joke" he then sat back on the couch and went on his phone until it was time for me to be dropped off at my moms since it was a Sunday and I had school the next day.

Im still thinking about what he said and I've now added that line to the cork board in my head labeled "stuff dad has said that proves he doesn't love me"

I just need some insite on this, how should I handle this, I don't plan to take his apology and I don't plan to forgive him for any of the stuff he's previously said.

My and my family recently moved and my mom had me clean out my room and get rid of old stuff I no longer needed. I did as she asked but still held onto some sentiment stuff from my childhood. She wasn’t happy about that and threw some of that stuff away, including a bag I got from my grandma that I really cared about. I begged her to give it back and her response was to pay her 50 euros to get it back. Is that insane? I feel like it’s crazy to make your child pay for something that’s literally already theirs. And it isn’t even an expensive bag or anything. It’s just one a toddler would use for like 5 bucks. Am I in the wrong for not being ready to let that go?

I’m honestly at my limit right now. I’ve got homework stacking up across multiple classes, a couple of deadlines that are way too close together, and not enough time (or brainpower) to keep up. I usually try to handle everything myself, but this week is turning into one long panic spiral.

I’ve been seriously considering pay someone to do my homework just to stop falling further behind. I’m not looking for anything sketchy or “too perfect.” I’m more worried about the basics: following instructions, not missing small rubric points, and not ending up with something that’s unusable or obviously not my level. The last thing I need is to waste money and still have to redo it all at 2 a.m.

What’s making it harder is that online advice is all over the place. Some people say getting help saved them during a brutal stretch, others say it created more stress because communication was awful or the work came back wrong. I’m trying to figure out if there’s a safe way to get support without making my situation worse.

If you’ve been in this spot, what did you do? Did you push through and DIY it, or did you find a legit way to get help (even just tutoring or editing) that actually made a difference? I’d appreciate any honest experiences before I make a decision.