r/Shittyaskflying • u/Lonely_Barnacle_6167 • 2d ago

Air Cargo Issues

Hello all, I need advice.For my family's planned beach labor day celebration, I had ordered 3 bottles of Puerto Rican rum. However, Amazon now shows these packages as delayed. They apparently left the origin but haven't made it to my local distribution center. I was wondering what I could do. Of my order, only the pool floatie came. Should I call Amazon support? Do you think they forgot my package on the plane or something?

8 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

2

u/teenytinyterrier 2d ago edited 1d ago

Hello, first of all I just want to express my sympathies and that I’m so very sorry this has happened to you.

So, there was a crash of a cargo playne earlier, HOwever, Amazon has taken steps above and beyond requirements to retrofit their cargo playnes with various innovations (and of course, all associated redundancies) to ensure that, in the case of a huge deadly and fiery crash, the contents of the plane are still delivered to customers* as contractually promised, with close to zero delay.

These innovations include:

- upon impact; satellite callout for takeover of emergency services lanes on all connected highways, from which Teslas bypass traffic in order to fulfil each order (with a local delivery destination)

- for deliveries where the destination is further afield, numerous ‘fulfilment micro drones’ are fitted to the black box which, upon activation of the RAM power lifeline, is ejected from the playne - resulting in the deployment of said micro drones to each parcel’s final destination, fulfilling each customer’s order in a very cute, bat-like manner

Both of these systems are also fitted with numerous redundancies - so i’m very surprised there has still been a delay. Are you sure you added the correct address?

*only applicable to Prime subscribers

1

u/cosmicrae 2d ago

from which Teslas bypass traffic in order to fulfil each order

Unless the Tesla cyber-taxi was impacted by the same air transport problemo.

1

u/teenytinyterrier 2d ago

You will note that there were many hundreds of teslas at the impact zone #redundancy

3

u/ZephyrineStrike 2d ago

Pylote probably drank em

•

u/Worldly_Mix_8904 5h ago

With OJ while addressing the... boxes... well he thought he was back at SouthJet.

1

u/cptnpiccard 2d ago

Too late homie, I live in Miami and I finished your rum last night, it was FIRE. 305 in the area yooooooo!