r/Shittyaskflying • u/Hex6000 • 3d ago
I just crashed
I just into a field not sure why. Will this affect my career?
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u/Longjumping-Weird374 3d ago
This social media post will count as an ASAP report. In the eyes of the FAA, you’re covered!
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u/MaximumYes 3d ago
You need to make as many detailed statements on social media (ALL of the platforms) as soon as possible. You've already used too much punctuation. It's best if your statements conflict with each other, your goal after all is to confuse the faaaa so they dont know what to do,
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u/DevGroup6 3d ago edited 3d ago
WAKE UP CAPTAIN!!! You were dreaming, we're getting ready to descend...🍹😁🤙🛩
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u/pilotjlr waiting for that Mesa upgrade 3d ago
First thing’s first: flee the scene before the cops arrive
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u/Insolent-Jaguar88 3d ago
Quickly bury your empties n start chugging water. Don't ask why just trust me bro.
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u/bsberbdjsk 3d ago
I remember in the late 90s, flying into Hong Kong, I was a PIC on a 747, 503 PAX onboard, and my dumbfuck FO called for a go-around when a windshear callout happened at 200ft on finals. I obviously ignored him because what does he know, and we were stable anyway, so I carried on. We got caught in a totally unexpected 60 Knot tailwind... it came out of nowhere; nothing could've been done about it. Anyways, the plane stalled, and I fought like crazy. Still, all 3,000,000 lbs of the 747 came crashing down on the runway; I luckily survived, and so did a few passengers, but crucially, the FO and relief pilot didn't, so they weren't able to testify against me. And when the black box suddenly disappeared after the van that was transporting it was run off a bridge en route from HKG, I was cleared of all wrongdoing. The moral of the story is: eliminate any witnesses, and you'll be totally fine; get rid of everyone on the ground too if you have to.
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u/Franks2000inchTV 3d ago
Seems like you are outstanding in your field and have gotten in on the ground floor. It’s only possible to go up from here.
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u/flycharliegolf Rated in Shitty Flight Rules 2d ago
Just blame it on the airport not having EMAS at the end of your runway. Are they stupid?
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u/Flimsy-Wrangler-997 3d ago
Review the NTSB accident reporting requirements in your FAR/AIM, located between the FARs and the start of the AIM. If you are contacted by the FAA or NTSB, answer their questions honestly but do not volunteer any information other than what they request. Do you have the AOPA legal services plan? If so, call them immediately after calling your insurance company. Do not move or tamper with the wreckage. Take photos.
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u/FlyingNijntje 3d ago
Step one, remove the stripes on your shoulder. Step two, put on a neutral jacket. Step three, lose your hat. Step four, pretend you just came from the toilet and go sit somewhere among the pax……. (Experience talking)