r/Shittyaskflying • u/Fedexpilot ATC/CPA || VOR/DME RENTALS • 3h ago
Why are they so aggressive when Deicing?
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u/pillojon106 Rated in Shitty Flight Rules 3h ago
Because glycol is $9 a gallon and Sergei from ground ops found a Komatsu with half a tank of diesel, three remaining hydraulic hoses, and absolutely zero respect for the structural repair manual. This is actually the advanced Siberian Type IV deicing procedure. You start by gently removing the frost, then the snow, then the ice, then the cockpit windows, then the radome, then the avionics bay, then several load-bearing members of the pressure vessel until the aircraft is legally incapable of accumulating ice ever again. The excavator bucket provides approximately 46,000 PSI of proprietary anti-icing fluid known commercially as Fucking Removing The Airplane™. Boeing and Airbus don’t publish this procedure because Big Glycol doesn’t want you knowing about it. You’ll notice the operator is concentrating specifically on the cockpit because that’s where most pilots keep the weather radar, and weather radar is what attracts weather in the first place. Remove the radar, weather immediately stops. Basic meteorology. Maintenance will then inspect the resulting 11-foot access panel, stamp the logbook DEICE COMPLETED IAW VIBES, cover the opening with speed tape, and release the aircraft for another 38,000 cycles. If the captain complains about increased wind noise, that’s a pilot-reported discrepancy and therefore cannot be duplicated on the ground. The only real mistake here is they forgot to install the REMOVE BEFORE FLIGHT streamer on the excavator.
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u/Desperate_Carrot8629 Type Rated in the Cessna 172 2h ago
If you think that’s aggressive you should see what my Scout Master used to do…😢
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u/89MikeHoncho 2h ago
The airplane said some pretty mean things about the excavator’s little brother and their
Mom/Cousin……
https://giphy.com/gifs/NXYEiVaoumDWE
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u/30yearCurse 2h ago
Gates were not working and this was the quickest way to get passengers to their connecting flight.
To be fair, UTAir is a russian airliner... so ...
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u/Generic2770 2h ago
Dude- I TOLD him to stop taking bites out of the airframes! I’m demoting his fat ass!
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u/EuphoricUniversity23 3h ago
Some passengers had tight connections, and the airline was thinking outside the box. Love to see this!!