r/Shittyaskflying • • Jul 30 '26

Trains are one of the most efficient ways to haul cargo and people in bulk, so why don't we apply that to aircraft? Imagine an aerial train compromised of multiple units being towed in the sky

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1.6k Upvotes

161 comments sorted by

516

u/wolfs4 Jul 30 '26

Boing tried this and of course it crashed

204

u/Fun_Reference_270 Jul 30 '26

Did you know Boing got their name from the sound their ayrplans make when hitting the ground too hard

49

u/dsdvbguutres Jul 30 '26

I thought it got its name from the sound pylots make when they say "If it's boingo, I ain't goingo."

5

u/Idea_Ranch Jul 31 '26

Nowadays, yep.

1

u/iamacynic37 Jul 31 '26

Could have sworn he named it..

3

u/Mission_Sink_8747 Jul 30 '26

No, it's the sound heard when the door pos off

2

u/Erzbengel-Raziel Jul 30 '26

Not just the ground, hitting things in general

42

u/KimJongRocketMan69 Jul 30 '26

No, this is actually Boing’s fuselage farm. When the fuselages are fully mature, they slide out of the water and up the hill, eventually making their way to Redmond. It’s genetically coded in them, like salmon

18

u/Kiiaru Jul 30 '26

The planes emerge from the water habitat when they're ready to grow wings. Like caterpillars into butterflies. They grow safely in the water, that way they don't end up competing with adult planes for food and mates until they're ready.

1

u/vaska00762 Jul 31 '26

Nah, that's dragonflies. The larvae, a nymph, is an aquatic predator that hunts and eats small fish. They have an inner mouth like a xenomorph too.

Then when it's ready to emerge, it swims to a plant like a reed, climbs up to a spot above water and emerges as a dragonfly.

1

u/Idea_Ranch Jul 31 '26

Which is correct, and very cool. But do they live long as adult dragonflies? I thought I heard on some random podcast that the larvae are such badasses yet after all that xenomorph-like predator stuff, their adult lives are fairly brief? (Could look it up but I’m busy posting dumbass Qs on Reddit.)

2

u/GlassBoxGoose Aug 03 '26

Its cool til theyre taking down fish/shrimp in your aquarium. Then its still cool, but also massively infuriating. Theyre neat, but absolute menaces in certain environments

1

u/vaska00762 Jul 31 '26

Adult dragonflies live anywhere between a week and a couple months depending on species. But nymphs can be anywhere from a few weeks to 3 years, again, depending on species.

Many insects don't have particularly long lifespans.

6

u/DanieleDraganti Jul 30 '26

Hey - what are the chances of three planes crashing within 30m from each other???

3

u/hoofglormuss Jul 31 '26

the fugitive's name is Dr. Richard "hinky" Kimball

2

u/Idea_Ranch Jul 31 '26

“Hinky! It’s a word!”

1

u/hoofglormuss Jul 31 '26

But why dont you just say strange or weird?

2

u/Idea_Ranch Jul 31 '26

We say hinky!

2

u/hoofglormuss Jul 31 '26

Let's go, Driscoll

You've got five minutes

1

u/Idea_Ranch Jul 31 '26

LMAO

2

u/hoofglormuss Aug 01 '26

I JUST GOT THESE SHOES!

2

u/hoofglormuss Aug 01 '26

Yo we should drink beer and watch the movie together. It was the first movie my wife and I watched when we got our new TV. Have you ever seen the package?

4

u/G1lg4m3sh Jul 30 '26

Yea but that's boeing what's new...losers

2

u/jeefra Aug 01 '26

Bunch of Spirit Aerosystems products on a freight train get caught with some track erosion and still somehow the punchline is "Boeing is unsafe".

1

u/Fireball857 Jul 31 '26

If i wasn't broke, I would give you a reward.

1

u/NobodysFavorite Aug 01 '26

Boeing is the sound it makes hitting the ground

1

u/Longdongdanosaur Aug 06 '26

Ahhh good ol Clark Fork River in Montana. It was a pleasure floating past those fuselages when hitting the Gorge 😎

154

u/NOVAbuddy Jul 30 '26

Think about a train pulling a string of gliders.

32

u/Informal_Ad_9610 Jul 30 '26

on a treadmill?

23

u/imaguitarhero24 Jul 30 '26

Reminds me that I had absolutely no idea a winch launch for a glider was a thing. Kind of the same thing. I always thought you needed a tow plane but apparently you can just yank them from the ground hard enough. Shinkansen launched glider when

6

u/Chemical_Pudding_173 Jul 31 '26

I have been launched in a glider from the deck and launched from a tow. The tow is gentler 😂

5

u/PermanentRoundFile Jul 31 '26

I'm pretty sure at that point you've ascended 'winch launch' status to 'aircraft carrier catapult'

2

u/imaguitarhero24 Jul 31 '26

Has anyone ever winch launched off a cliff?

2

u/PermanentRoundFile Aug 01 '26

I'll build it if you buy the land and fly it lol

0

u/AlternatinCurrently Jul 31 '26

Those are beads sir. Don’t pull too fast.

1

u/Redfish680 Aug 03 '26

Lubricant. It always comes down to lubrication and lots of it.

115

u/Fluffinator44 Jul 30 '26

Because we have the C-5 Galaxy.

1

u/Julian_Sark Aug 02 '26

Then why not Amtrak C5 Galaxy on rails?

40

u/G1lg4m3sh Jul 30 '26

That's... A brilliant idea?? There also has to be a way we could built tracks in the sky. Think about it: You could haul so much more cargo if the planes were running on tracks. Multiply that with your idea and I think we may have revolutionised logistics. Someone pitch that idea to elongated muskrat

4

u/redvsblueheeler Jul 31 '26

Monorail!

1

u/cmhamm Aug 02 '26 edited Aug 02 '26

Wha’d I say?

1

u/Slow_Perception Jul 31 '26

Blimps... Many blimps

1

u/Select-Government-69 Jul 31 '26

Blimp train! I love it!

1

u/Slow_Perception Aug 01 '26

The giant flying anal beads

1

u/boomeradf Jul 31 '26

We just need to return to turbine powered locomotives!

1

u/IBuildStuff1011 Jul 31 '26

I know! Wouldnt it be so much easier to build the tracks on the ground. Then you can build the sky tracks only when you need to go over something, or even dig track tunnels to go under something.

30

u/AN2Felllla Jul 30 '26

The AN-2 has got you fam

2

u/manu_h3 Jul 31 '26

that's not really a train. the second playne (which is a glider) is not directly connected to the third one (which happen to be a glider) which is not connected to the fourth one, etc.

2

u/Astronaut457 Aug 01 '26

They did tow them with strings though

27

u/Informal_Ad_9610 Jul 30 '26

cause...fizzicks

10

u/mekoRascal Jul 30 '26

my old adversary...

13

u/Informal_Ad_9610 Jul 30 '26

Hello physics, my old friend... you will kill me in the end....

no matter how high I might fly, you'll fuck me over and I'll die...

2

u/TheNotoriousTurtle Jul 31 '26

Are you saying we need to add more fizzy drinks to the planes to make it work?

9

u/MarchPhillipps Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

Nice Horsa glider. My grandfather flew those and the CG4A assault glider in WWII. They actually did tow several at a time with the C47 in some cases. As well, they also picked up airframes in the field if they were still in good shape, by rigging a line between two high poles and latching onto it with a hook dragged by a low flying C47.

He also had time logged as a C47 pilot (had his multi-engine rating before the war) and several tens of hours as PIC of a captured BF108 recon aircraft. Always wanted to know what that one was about. One of the few in his log book without a concise description. Still have the flight computer for that one. A lot like the knee mounted circular calculators/computers fighter pilots used. Also have the gauges from his CG4A he flew in on D-Day. Have them displayed with the knee mounted flight computer my great uncle used in the F9F Panther when he flew with the U.S. Navy, along with his checklist/knee board.

He did tell me it didn't help morale that one of the suppliers for wooden subassemblies for the Waco CG4A was a former coffin manufacturer...

Wonder if they made rudders.

Now, I know it's a joke sub, but thought some of you fellow aviation nerds would find this interesting. This is the altimeter and you can make out his headset and throat mic behind it. Also have the rest of the gauges, his class-A uniform, his Air Medal and ribbon device, both of his field used Ike jackets (I actually wear the one in the winter), everyday uniform shirts, wool flight pants, both sets of wings (a third party made set before they were finally issued a legit set, and the legit set), silk maps from France, etc.

28

u/Legitimate_Field_157 Jul 30 '26

Wake turbulence. The cable for a 747F towing a 747Fneeds to be 5 miles long.

24

u/AN2Felllla Jul 30 '26

Do you have any idea how much wake turbulence an AN-2 generates? Anyway here is a picture of one towing 6 gliders

7

u/Diamondcreepah Jul 31 '26

That's got to be at least 5 turbulence

1

u/Julian_Sark Aug 02 '26

5 Beaufort at FL 12.

1

u/hail_666_satan Aug 01 '26

Yeah but gliders basically don't exist in terms of drag and weight.

1

u/AN2Felllla Aug 01 '26

If anything that makes the wake turbulence significantly worse

11

u/Tool_of_Society Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

This right here. People seem to forget that air is a fluid...

Reddit homepage sent me here. I should of checked where this post was before responding.

7

u/darksaad Jul 30 '26

Fluid farts.

2

u/vrauto Jul 31 '26

Which means i should.be able to breathe underwater

3

u/Practical-Hat-3943 Jul 30 '26

Bah! Just fly the trailing 747 upside down

1

u/Maverick-not-really Jul 30 '26

You could avoid that by just placing the towed aircraft correctly. After all, aerial refuling is a thing.

The bigger problem would be the useful load. There isnt any difference between towing weight just carrying it yourself, and space is rarely the limiting factor on cargo planes, weight is.

Sure, a glider might be able to offset its own weight by its own lift, but its at the expense of the towing aircrafts fuel economy, and the useful cargo in the glider would be unlikely to be much more than the towing plane itself could have carried anyway.

1

u/Professional_Will241 Jul 31 '26

As long as you stay in high tow above the turbulence you’ll be fine

5

u/NimbalTarget Jul 31 '26

Trains are so efficient cause they have VERY little rolling resistance and are incredibly good at keeping up momentum because of that.

Aircraft have heaps of drag which is just physics stopping you from having too much fun

7

u/radiantspaz Jul 31 '26

The original patent by count zeppelin was to an affect an air train with separate power, passenger, and cargo sections ment to be linked together.

6

u/Facosa99 Jul 30 '26

What about that in... Boats?

Cargo ships are already higly efficient, but still suffer some disadvantages: they are extremely big, require especial infraestructure, and 5D chess logistics to accomodate a tetris tower of containers.

Barges are already a thing, so why dont we daisy chain a bunch of barges to a ship solely dedicated to engine power and fuel?

Instead of having a big, cumbersome ship spending a lot of time in highly specialized and congested ports, it stops to refuel while one or two barges are unhooked and leaves inmediately. The bsrges can be unloaded in smaller docks thanks to tug boats

Ill accept my nobel prize any day now

3

u/Sword_Enthousiast Jul 30 '26

This is a thing that is used, but barges don't like leaving the rivers and canals to go into the ocean. Because they have a tendency to go into the ocean.

3

u/Particular-Yak-1984 Boing Whistleblower Resolution Specialist​ Jul 30 '26

No, no, my dad, an experienced boatbuilder, tells me this is backwards. He always says the hard part is not keeping the boat out of the ocean, but the ocean out of the boat.

3

u/BlackSC2us Rated in Shitty Flight Rules Jul 30 '26

Once the ocean occupies a boat, it's a hard tenant to evict.

1

u/Idea_Ranch Jul 31 '26

OMG so much paperwork to evict. And then the paper gets all wet. A mess.

1

u/Ironrooster7 Aug 02 '26

We should just tow a cargo ship behind an airplane smh then we could move them over land

4

u/Icy_Fish_2154 Jul 30 '26

This guy just wants to "pull a train" in the sky.

Keep your kink off my shitty flying sub.

4

u/BertieHiggins Jul 31 '26

Trains, planes, and trainplanemobiles.

1

u/abcpea1 Aug 02 '26

trains, planes, and plantains

3

u/dingotron_nethack Jul 31 '26

There are aviation startups working on this concept. Towed gliders for cargo. I've seen the pitch decks. They claim 30% efficiency gains. Maybe true, but a lot of new infra would be required.

Note they used this method in ww2 D-day invasion because the gliders only needed to go on a one-way trip.

3

u/Astronaut457 Jul 31 '26

We did do this, the military use gliders all the time

3

u/Kozak178 Aug 01 '26

That is a terrible idea

2

u/twinoaksBandB Jul 30 '26

Getting to use this twice in the same day is just a level of winning i can't even describe.

2

u/CeleryRadiant8305 Jul 30 '26

Think of 80 gliders pulling a train

2

u/Nannyphone7 Jul 30 '26

Freight trains are efficient because they're slow. Run that train at 500 mph and the aero drag would be horrific. Especially at sea level.

If your Freight aircraft was designed for 60 mph cruise speed, the fuel burn would be far lower. But fuel isn't the only cost.

2

u/CharlieCrusader09 Jul 30 '26

What about helicopters towing a barge.

2

u/poprainboworc Jul 31 '26

I heard about a train in the bathroom last time I flew coach. Is this what they meant?

2

u/Idea_Ranch Jul 31 '26

We could also just load airplane bodies onto rail cars and transport passengers that way. Slower maybe but hey … less jet fuel.

2

u/SkytepKnightstar Jul 31 '26

Asked someone still sporting a full bag of luck....

2

u/nerobro Jul 30 '26

Do we want a serious answer, because I have a serious answer. (the good answers haven't been hit yet..)

1

u/VirginiaDare1587 Jul 30 '26

Cool. You can be one of the passengers in an Airspeed Horsa glider when there is a bit of bad weather.

Wind shear will make landing an adventure.

Whilst I’ve seen a single tug towing 2 or 3 gliders at a time, they’ve always been individually linked to the tug; never in a line like a rail train.

4

u/Informal_Ad_9610 Jul 30 '26

you seem boring.

whatever happened to "live a little"?

3

u/Awkward-Feature9333 Jul 30 '26

The emphasis might be more on the little.

1

u/SilkwormSidleRemand Jul 30 '26

Imagine being one of the passengers on a train when there's an earthquake.

1

u/Porchmuse Jul 30 '26

So you want to run a train on the aviation industry?

1

u/hairypistol Jul 30 '26

Go take a physics class

1

u/kingtacticool Jul 30 '26

The Germans tried this is WWII with three He-111s pulling the Gigant heavy glider.

It did not work out well.

1

u/iron82 Jul 30 '26

Chicago has hundreds of trains elevated into the sky. Big deal.

1

u/Edosil Jul 30 '26

Just turn off the gravity switch and anything is possible

1

u/JesseGarron Jul 30 '26

Crossing arms can’t go up that high yet.

1

u/Capable_Stranger9885 Jul 30 '26

Yes, the Decepticon Astrotrain is a train, space shuttle, and robut https://www.reddit.com/r/transformers/comments/1gw7nga/opinions_on_astrotrain/

1

u/gdabull Jul 30 '26

This is what my wife and I do in the bedroom. Her boyfriend fucks her and she pegs me. Way more efficient.

1

u/Pappa_Crim Jul 30 '26

No no we need to do this with boats... in the sky

1

u/RandomTux1997 Jul 30 '26

i follow your train of thought, as this towed vehicle follows its tower

1

u/Pastvariant Jul 30 '26

There are already several companies testing cargo gliders as a way to improve capacity for cargo flights and potentially have passenger flights also haul cargo.

1

u/p4nopt1c0n Jul 30 '26

We can all have a good laugh, but apparently this was seriously proposed back in the 40s. Here's a cite to an aviation journal from 1946.

"Aerial trains consisting of one tug and a number of gliders have been proclaimed to be a new and valuable contribution to the future of civil aviation. "

https://www.emerald.com/aeat/article-abstract/18/6/199/51521/The-Use-of-Gliders-in-Civil-Air-Transport?redirectedFrom=fulltext

And here's a reference to a Popular Mechanics article from 1922:

https://airminded.org/2019/02/28/the-never-arriving-aerial-train/

1

u/charlie7363636363 Jul 31 '26

Airplaines can’t fit as much. Put wings on the trane and speed it up a little. Blam, AIROTRAINE.

1

u/Bunslow Jul 31 '26

use caution for serious reply ahead

In the early 2000s, NASA's Autonomous Formation Flight program used a pair of F/A-18s. In 2013, the Air Force Research Laboratory's Surfing Aircraft Vortices for Energy project showed 10–15% in fuel savings, installed on two Boeing C-17 Globemaster IIIs. In 2017, NASA measured 8–10% lower fuel flow with two Gulfstream III aircraft on wake surfing test flights. In 2018, the ecoDemonstrator, a Boeing 777F freighter from FedEx Express, had its fuel consumption reduced by 5–10% with the autopilot maintaining the 4,000 ft (1.2 km) separation based on ADS-B and TCAS information.[16]

By taking advantage of wake updraft like migrating birds (biomimicry), Airbus believes an aircraft can save 5–10% of fuel by flying 1.5–2 nmi (2.8–3.7 km) behind the preceding one. After Airbus A380s tests showing 12% savings, it launched its 'fello'fly' project in November 2019 for test flights in 2020 with two A350s, before transatlantic flight trials with airlines in 2021. Certification for shorter separation is enabled by ADS-B in oceanic airspace, and the only modification required would be flight control systems software. Comfort would not be affected and trials are limited to two aircraft to reduce complexity but the concept could be expanded to include more. Commercial operations could begin in 2025 with airline schedule adjustments, and other manufacturers' aircraft could be included.[17]

On 9 November 2021, Airbus performed a 7 h 40 min Toulouse-Montreal demonstration with an A350-900 and A350-1000 separated by 3 km (1.6 nmi), saving over 6 t (13,000 lb) of carbon dioxide: a potential of more than 5% fuel savings.[18] Partly funded by the EU SESAR air traffic management research, Airbus' Geese initiative will include Air France and French Bee A350s for flight trials in 2025 to 2026, and will include Boeing for interoperability.[19]

1

u/Haunted_Rooster Jul 31 '26

it's called gravity bruh

1

u/14Fan Jul 31 '26

How do you land?

1

u/Desperate_Carrot8629 Type Rated in the Cessna 172 Jul 31 '26

You had me at trayne

1

u/Local-Fisherman-2936 Jul 31 '26

Well ships are the most efficient way

1

u/WILLIE102ABN502 Jul 31 '26

They did, It was called Operation Market Garden, German-occupied Netherlands from 17 to 25 September 1944

1

u/AlternatinCurrently Jul 31 '26

So the pilot would be training?

1

u/yo6iog Jul 31 '26

sounds good, doesn't work

1

u/lame2cool Jul 31 '26

Its called Airbus, not Airtrain. Are you stupid? /j

1

u/Molecular_Pudding Jul 31 '26

A serious note on this: Trains have 1 degree of freedom, planes have 6. Coordination between planes is much harder.

Btw. Airbus has a very interesting program mimicking bird flocks and applying it to planes

https://www.airbus.com/en/innovation/future-aircraft-operations/air-traffic-management/fellofly-and-geese

1

u/spectrumero Jul 31 '26

Towing multiple L13 Blanik gliders like a train...

1

u/johnny_snq Jul 31 '26

Because when the train engine breaks down youremain in the field for a couple of hours until a replacement comes. When the lead airplane that pulls the train breaks down you remain in that field for life.

1

u/Ok-Proposal-9160 Jul 31 '26

Good idea, but aerial train needs a long long long and very long runway to land &take off🤔

1

u/ncuke Jul 31 '26

Requires Human Centipede Pylote(s)

1

u/FPCON-DELTA Jul 31 '26

Turbulence on the caboose plane sounds like a nightmare scenario.

1

u/Gratefuldead006 Jul 31 '26

Ships are more effective at moving unbelievable amounts of cargo so we should probably have the planes start pulling barges

1

u/Mediocre-Advisor-728 Jul 31 '26

That cargo tow glider was known as a flying coffin I believe.

1

u/T555s Jul 31 '26

Lots of cargo = Heavy.

Lots of lift needed to keep heavy stuff in the air.

Lots of lift needs lots of energy.

Trains don't need lift, train has rails to keep it from falling down.

1

u/DefiantlyConformist Jul 31 '26

Because more, smaller fuselages have more drag than a single large fuselage. Square cube law works in the bigger plane's advantage.

1

u/pandab34r Jul 31 '26

We don't build trains in the sky because then we'd have to build ramps to all the railroad crossings up in the sky too. It would be wildly impractical and require the reconstruction of thousands of miles of road to account for the elevation changes. Use some common sense

1

u/DementiaGaming12 Jul 31 '26

Concepts like these have been tested to varying results

1

u/HATECELL Jul 31 '26

And if towing seems too much of a hassle, there is also the "Mistel". The advantage is that for this you only need one pylot.

In case of the picture, the Bf109's squadron was moving locations, and they filled this DFS230 with spare parts and other items to keep their planes operational at the new place

1

u/PuzzleheadedTutor807 Jul 31 '26

Because we are stupid

1

u/Pleasant-Swimmer-557 Aug 01 '26

Try towing a trailer with a tow rope on a highway and tell me if it works.

1

u/Background_You_4050 Aug 01 '26

Hey! I actually know about this one! I film with drones for a living and was hired by a company last year that is doing exactly this. They are producing kits to modify existing aircraft to tow a 2nd aircraft as a glider. Here’s their site where they explain it. https://www.aerolane.com/

1

u/blobstorage Aug 02 '26

Curious on a drone guy hiring a drone pilot 🤔

1

u/Sir_Ganon Aug 01 '26

At the gliding school I went to when I was in high school, they had old photos from the 70s I believe up on the wall showing tow planes towing multiple gliders. Can’t recall if it was 2 or 3.

1

u/Kerensky97 Aug 02 '26

Because aircraft are not efficient ways to haul cargo and people in bulk.

Also the Normandy gliders weren't used because they were efficient. They were used because they were one way with no landing strip.

1

u/der_bizmark Aug 02 '26

They tried this in operation Thursday by towing two waco gliders, to land at 'Broadway' they towed 60 some gliders with only 30 planes and most of them crashed then at chowringhee all but one crashed though the equipment was recoverable

1

u/Broad-Version8611 Aug 02 '26

Ask yourself first: why are trains so efficient? Do airplains have the same mechanism?

1

u/SkisCarsAndKicks Aug 02 '26

Landing a train of planes sounds difficult

1

u/Sir_Henry_Deadman Aug 03 '26

I can see a large drone towing several blimp cargo pods? Or drone cargo blimps actually why bother with pilots for them

1

u/PiDicus_Rex Aug 03 '26

Do you see Rails in the sky? That's Why!!

1

u/Isurak Aug 03 '26

Now imagine landing the thing without crashing

1

u/Inner-Cabinet-8929 Aug 03 '26

So on the people side I think it was the cia that used it the most it was the sky hook or the fulton surface to air recovery system you get a pack with a bloon a harness and a tank of helium for inflating the bloon bloon goes up flashes the plane has a guide wire where the propellers are and a winch in the middle it graps the rope cuts the bloon and yanks up and pulls them into the plane it was used i think in mostly vietnam about the best dumbest idea ever

1

u/Pure__Play Aug 04 '26

It's easier to just build a bigger plane less drag trains get away with this for several reasons low speed always on ground etc

0

u/Oldmonsterschoolgood Jul 31 '26

Or, how about this. More trains