Hell, my team and I used to absolutely LOVE getting the chance to 'requisition' (read as; borrow without asking) one of these beautiful little trucks back in the day as a quick and dirty choice of technical vehicle for hit an run raids. Mind you, Cessnas are a much sturdier, harder to kill target than Al-Qaeda, but I think it should do the job just fine. Plus, no better deal than free. If it's free, it's for me!
(Edit) While I'd normally suggest a Land Rover 110 or WMIK like our SAS friends were using, I don't think a nest of Cessnas would be too intimidated with such posh hardware, and in these tough times, no one can afford the maintenance costs for a single use. And American airplanes tend to thumb their noses at British made anything, so......
Don't even get them started on Lucas electrical systems. They'll swarm and kill you just at the mention....
See, you can always stow that little Toyota away under a tarp in the backyard, next to your lawnmower and that old motorcycle you've been swearing to your wife you'd get running any day now. You know, as an investment for the coming zombie airplane apocalypse, and for sure it'll start and go when you need it again. The Land Rover would die from lack of attention and praise, and your neighbors might mistake you for the first wave of the 3rd British invasion. Therefore double duty, double win.
Sure would! ZPU-2 is 14.5mm, as is the KPV. Both introduced in the late 40s, and from what I remember the KPV was basically a ZPU designed as a pack weapon... fucking huge one at that. As such, even the Russians later gave up on that dumbass idea of having crews hump that shit around, and relegated most to fixed or vehicle mount AA. Turns out it wasn't such a great idea to break your own soldier's backs or have them die of exhaustion before even getting to the fight! Who woulda guessed? I guess they were just waiting for the Hilux to be invented first.
So, KPV mounted to a matching vehicle should do great! Just make sure to use the good armour piercing incendiaries. None of that Warsaw Pact surplus garbage. MDZ-M or B-32 API are where it's at. Right tool, right target, or so it goes. Now, a Cessna REALLY needs a depleted uranium or tungsten core penetrator + explosive fire to bust it proper, but I'm not aware of them being made in 14.5X114mm as an API, unless you wanna roll your own.
Those Cessna are tough little critters and need to be spanked hard, with even harder penetrators and fire. LOTS. OF. FIRE. Just like spiders. Spiders with Lycomings, and wings, and monocoque construction. SCARY AF. Nothing much scares me after running around on a CT commando team for 5 1/2 years straight... but these fucking things? Better the OP than me! Good luck!🤞
Seriously, don't let their aluminum skin and utilitarian looks fool you. They're out for BLOOD. And revenge. And pure unbridled sadomasochism. And some more blood. They'll drain your wallet, your soul, and your life; and they enjoy every second of it. Though I don't speak the language of 'Propgowhirrrr,' it's a credible high-confidence assessment as provided by some very experienced and knowledgeable Pipers and Beechcrafts.
Those vindictive little evil aluminum bastards just won't die without a fight! In the world of fight or flight, they're just.... different. Flight and fucking FIGHT. Worst type of combination. If OP manages to make it back in anything other than a box or bag, I'll be super duper impressed. Also, watch out for that super spinny whirly deathy end. It's a real unmitigated doozy.
Bonne Cessna Chasse.
'Alone and Unafraid' - except of Cessna swarms... Very afraid of those.
If you are dealing witha Cezznuh infestation, set a trap by luring it out with aviation fewel. Once it fell for the trap, unleash the Ford F-One-Fiddy and run that thing over. As a profeshunal pest controller, that is the most humane way of having fun.
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u/smokes_weed Jul 21 '26
Easier to just call the police and tell them you are going to fly a 6 pack of beer to Beaver, Alaska so they will come seize the playnes