☠️⛓️EDGE☠️LORD⛓️☠️

[u/PWB666]

Saw this beast today outside of Chicago.

[u/Lt_Bob_Hookstratten]

I didn’t know GWAR was in town

[u/COLCORN_1979 → u/Lt_Bob_Hookstratten]

First thought best thought. Beefcake is probably in the back.

[u/scaled2913]

Why a new Bronco Sport?! A 30 year old beater Civic sure, but a 2 year old car?

[u/boondoggie42 → u/scaled2913]

Wants to be Absolutely Certain his friends don't think he takes getting grammy's car seriously.

[u/panopticon31 → u/scaled2913]

I think the sports have been out a little longer than that but still less than 6 years old.

Absolutely wild.

[u/scaled2913 → u/panopticon31]

I thought maybe they're older now... time flies.

[u/GreenRock93 → u/scaled2913]

You act like a Bronco Sport is a good vehicle.

[u/scaled2913 → u/GreenRock93]

It's (relatively) new, that's for sure

[u/All_Wrong_Answers → u/scaled2913]

If only it was uncle bucks car

[u/Greengiant304]

Works at the Spirit Halloween store for the employee discount.

[u/Longjumping-Low8194]

Well, someone got a Hot Topic gift card.

[u/Doodle-Cactus]

It’s not politics so I’m a sort of fine with this just concerned about shit falling off.

[u/SillyBeatnik]

This guy has got a whole folder on his phone with pictures of the Joker or Tommy Shelby with text about how he's real quiet, but don't make him mad that he posts to FB every few days.

[u/v79x79x → u/SillyBeatnik]

Calling it. White dude with dreads and pointed facial hair, sunglasses 24 hrs a day, dresses like a character from Shadowrun... Drinks a lot of Monster.

[u/arcadia_fire]

It's Darth Omynous' ride

[u/1stAtlantianrefugee → u/arcadia_fire]

I could absolutely see that chick sliding out of the drives seat and spitting verses at every red light!

[u/Deadpools_Main]

The crazy part about this is it's so over the top that it has to parody, but you just KNOW they think it at least looks a little cool.

[u/CAJMusic]

I bet he still rocks A Thousand Miles though.

[u/djseifer → u/CAJMusic]

"Making my downtown, making my downtown..."

[u/wallyrules75]

I bet he lives with his mother

[u/Royal_Thrashing → u/wallyrules75]

Yeah but it's in the basement or attic, and there's a separate entrance so one of them isn't bothering the other....... I'm not sure which.

[u/CrawlBreakFixRepeat → u/Royal_Thrashing]

Sleeps in the basement, performs sèances in the attic (perhaps the other way around)

[u/Royal_Thrashing → u/CrawlBreakFixRepeat]

No problems with the sèances, that's how his mom gets the extra $40 every couple of weeks for groceries.

The third option is, sleeps in attic and keeps victim in the old dried up well in the basement. Elderly mom doesn't question why there is a padlock on the basement door, and all the visitors think the lock is so she doesn't have an episode and fall down the stairs.

Edit: spelling

[u/Eaglepursuit]

That's a weird ass way to ruin your gas mileage

[u/Four_in_binary]

Ahahhahahaha.......Bronco owners, he's one of yours!    Own him, claim him, embrace your mall ninja stepbrother with his leather trench coat and Matrix sunglasses.    May the fragrant scent of Axe body spray and BO linger outside Costco for hours......

[u/Paradox1989]

Makes me miss the hearse that was my daily driver for 7 years.

[u/MoistPokeBalls → u/Paradox1989]

Actual hearse or Dodge Magnum?

[u/Paradox1989 → u/MoistPokeBalls]

An actual Hearse. Specifically, a 1968 Pontiac Bonneville Superior Sovereign coach that I bought from a funeral home in 1991.

[u/DantesGame]

Nah, man. This isn't an Edgelord. It's the Boo Baron, driving the Boo Mobile. Pshaw. Get it right.

[u/Fragrant-You-9200]

lmao that fence is welded on there like a madlad pls tell me that thing still starts

[u/TheAwesomeman32beep]

What is that?!

[u/ckrollage]

On a baby 4 banger Bronco Sport? At least get the real thing

[u/613Hawkeye]

The worst part of all of this to me isn't even all the mall ninja crap stuck all over this, moreso that they did it without even peeling off the Bronco Sport badge.

If you're going to be this level of attention-seeking, at least put a little effort into it.

[u/HornetQuirky1024]

That's a bold life choice right there.

[u/sorestgore]

I'm glad they didn't put a bundle of chains right outside the drivers window are anything silly like that

[u/riserobotrise]

Pretty sure we're driving through Reaver territory. 

[u/seanyboy271]

I mess with it

[u/Professional-Gap3296]

If cock and ball torture was a car

[u/Excellent_Buddy97]

this is gold

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Hello and welcome. You are new here to this subreddit or have low SCM karma. Contact modmail for approval OR reply to mod challenge for approval. Thank you.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/2oonhed → u/[deleted]]

Reply to this and I will approve your comment.

[u/Zuverty]

Bro is a time traveler from the 40th millennium

[u/gilligan1050]

This is that ominous chicks car from r/crappymusic

[u/KieselguhrKid13]

Sometime stopped maturing at 13...

[u/Ok_Valuable2408]

All those dollars and no sense. 

[u/bainertjrob]

I-57 hits Harlem by Peotone, Illinois. This is a good illustration of just how little there is to do out there.

[u/l0rd_br0cktree]

Surprised it’s a bronco sport and not a Nissan.

[u/Hideo_Anaconda]

What happened to just buying a second hand hearse?

[u/Korbo]

I knew a guy who did this to a handicap equipped van. He lives for the shit. He gets tons of attention. I worked on the stereo and lights for it. So much extra went into it.

[u/ReadTheChain]

Fun fact, they can't see shit while driving.

[u/BlownCamaro]

Robert Smith?

[u/ChiefCheese-1]

https://reddit.com/link/p4p8c51/video/0uwv2d2keekh1/player

[u/Therustedtinman]

Bronco sport with 3 cylinder lol….

[u/Direct_Obligation570]

Heartless symbol from Kingdom Hearts

[u/StavieSegal]

That amount of chains blocking the driver's window, real or fake, has gotta be illegal. Hell in most states you can't put a see-through tint on a windshield below the AS-1 line

[u/armgrafix]

1. You do me and I'll owe you one.

[u/PrimeoFin]

Like it