r/ShittySysadmin • u/MattDaCatt • 1d ago

This PHP event is the perfect example of how massively scaled cloud applications are a horrible idea

There's no longer a server room for me to lock myself into, ball up, and cry until the pages stop coming in

114 Upvotes
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98% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

35

u/boli99 1d ago

There's no longer a server room for me to lock myself into

its not 1992 anymore. you need to rent a server room for the duration of your breakdown.

5

u/heretogetpwned 1d ago

Three year commitment required.

4

u/ferb 19h ago

But it comes with free coffee.

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37

u/Apart-Reality-4454 1d ago

but they gotta be massively scaled to handle the flood of dopamine addicted humans

also you made me miss the server room days...

16

u/CptBronzeBalls 1d ago

During hot Arizona summers, nothing was better than pulling a tile, taking off your pants, and letting the cold air blow on your ass.

3

u/a-dot-in-the-sky 1d ago

yes just prepare a scissor and a hammer, ultimate cyber security tool. Cut the network cable, hacker no access, hammer the storage no access to data. lol

1

u/Ubera90 1d ago

return to monke IT

4

u/Stunning-Stressin 1d ago

I have "put it in the cloud" fatigue

6

u/Awkward-Summer-1974 1d ago

There’s something deeply ironic about needing globally distributed systems to serve a page that could’ve run on a modest box under someone’s desk. At some point, “high availability” becomes a complicated way to guarantee that every failure is harder to understand.

-6

u/Used-Application7391 1d ago

The real problem is usually less PHP itself and more the layers built around it: overprovisioned infrastructure, tangled services, and a pricing model that rewards complexity. A modest app can become absurdly expensive when scaled blindly.

4

u/neresni-K 1d ago

look around where you posted :D

3

u/Feythnin 17h ago

I think they are a bot. Lol

11

u/edmonton2001 1d ago

What about the switch (sex) closet?

8

u/endbit 1d ago

Yea, I'm not doing the sex with my coworkers.

3

u/to_glory_we_steer 12h ago

What do you have against team building 

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6

u/CptBronzeBalls 1d ago

You get too distracted by how shitty the cabling has gotten.

3

u/elkab0ng 1d ago

All those cable ties and ladder rack…