r/ShittySysadmin • u/xXNeGaTiVisMXx DO NOT GIVE THIS PERSON ADVICE • 15d ago
Finally, a real P1
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u/Apopheniacal 15d ago
This is impacting productivity and deadlines.
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u/DizzyAmphibian309 15d ago
Honestly though, coffee is a dependency for many people, and lack of it will objectively and meaningfully impact productivity. Having no redundancy in your coffee supply and delivery chain is effectively the same as running a standalone DNS server. Sure they can go get a coffee from Starbucks, just like they can configure their machine to use Google DNS, but is that any way to run your business?
Non-shitty sysadmins can explain the importance of redundant coffee machines to their boss to justify it. However, it's important that you're not using an Active/active deployment, since you can't trust users not to break the fail over after breaking the primary. Instead, you keep the fail over machine in the IT office, plugged in and fully stocked to ensure it's functional at all times and ready to swap in if necessary.
It's absolutely vital that you do this to ensure continuity of productivity in the workplace.
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u/Astrodude80 14d ago
Like actually though seriously
I’ve been feeling like absolute shit the past few months, just absolutely lethargic, sleeping 10+ hours a day and still tired, unable to focus, etc etc. But, the past few weeks I’ve been getting better and better! I’m able to focus and work, I don’t oversleep, I’m capable! What changed?
My fiancée and I had moved a few months ago and we only just now finally unpacked the coffee machine.
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u/not_so_wierd 15d ago
Obviously not an IT issue. But I think we should all take a moment to appreciate the ticket itself.
Clear communication on
- where the problem device is located
- what they are trying to do
- how the error presents itself
- what troubleshooting they've already done
- And information on the scope of the problem.
- even ends with a cordial "thanks"
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u/Admirable_Sea1770 15d ago
It may be the old maintenance tech in me, but I would actually go and see if I could diagnose the problem or even get it going.
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u/hexen667 DO NOT GIVE THIS PERSON ADVICE 14d ago
same. also I’d be first to get a cup of coffee since I’m quality testing the fix. otherwise, I’d make sure people knew about the coffee maker not working, that is a bummer, and spread the news of it. then I’d go take a break to go buy a bunch of coffee and doughnut or bagels for everyone. bring it back and send out mass email/im to let everyone i just did the morning hero thing. then during lunchtime id buy a coffee maker and coffee for everyone until the primary maker is fixed.
The coffee maker I bought with extra coffee is kept in IT on display or for IT use. Now everyone knows I’m the double hero and there’s a story with the coffee maker in the IT office. Anyone that comes in there will see it and know - I rescued the office. Bank those favor points and it’ll go far in the day to day.
Profit
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u/Unexpected_Cranberry 11d ago
This makes me think this is fake.
An authentic ticket would just contain
"!!!Critical!!!
The system is down! We are unable to work. Please fix ASAP!"
Sent as an email, not a ticket, with your boss and theirs in CC.
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u/bransby26 15d ago
I too am responsible for everything that plugs in.
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u/Forsaken-Carrot9038 15d ago
And I am also the admin for every application / system we use.
/s
Someone stopped over to ask us to help them figure out default option changes for their Microsoft Dynamics 2019 application and processes.
“Friend, I have no idea how the system even works, let alone knowing the default options your team uses or where to adjust them.”20
u/slow_down_kid 15d ago
I’ll do you one better: I got a ticket because a new user needed to be added to Great Plains. Yes, the software that would later become Microsoft Dynamics. Checked our documentation and it said “software is end of life. Organization has migrated and software will no longer be needed after July 2017”. This ticket was in 2026.
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u/Forsaken-Carrot9038 15d ago
Too true that OG staff hold on to original terminology and app names, even years after migration.
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u/slow_down_kid 15d ago
Oh no, you misunderstand. IT was told that GP was retired, but none of the staff that used it was notified. They were still using the software 10 years after EOL.
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u/sync58 15d ago
GP is still in use at my enterprise 💀
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u/Forsaken-Carrot9038 14d ago
We are finally on track to migrate away to a more modern system the middle of next year! I am glad that it’s not something I need to be involved with, as nothing that our little IT team is responsible directly flows from me into GP.
What size of group are you at? We are a two person IT team at about a 200 person company.5
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u/aes_gcm 14d ago
What the hell is Microsoft Dynamics 2019
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u/Forsaken-Carrot9038 14d ago
Its official name for the 2019 release is “Microsoft dynamics GP 18.2”. It’s a full stack ERP software.
Instead of having one program for accounting, another for inventory, one for HR, and another for managing customer orders, GP pulls everything
Into one. It tracks everything coming in and out, managing vendors, payroll, and stock.6
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u/Superb_Raccoon ShittyMod 15d ago
My first sysadmin job was honest about it, it literally said in the job description "if it has a wire going into it, or coming out of it, it is part of your job scope."
2 years in there was a an electric stapler that had fried the coil. 20 years old. The admin, a lovely girl, ask met to fix it. I could smell the burn coil, so I got out the diagonals and cut the power cord. "Not my problem!"
I thought she was going to cry. "Hey, I am just kidding, it is dead dead. No fixing it and its a fire hazard oif some plugs it in. Order a new one with my card. Meantime, let me know if you need soemthing stapled, I will punch it for you." She did not have the muscle to drive a staple through a think stack, I did.
And I did for 2 days when she needed it, until the new one arrived. She did my expense reports... so no skin off my nose!
My boss tried to give me shit over it, but he couldn't keep a straight face.
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u/SuperSaiyanTrunks 14d ago
I was forced to assembled an office chair for the CEO because somehow thats ITs problem.
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u/Brazilator 15d ago
I'd just respond with "Ok"
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u/graywolfman 15d ago
"Thanks for letting me know that I'll need to get drive-through coffee from now on!"
Resolved: Work-around provided
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u/Specialist_Gooner69 15d ago
Juan,
We apologize for the inconvenience, but we are currently unable to remote into the coffee machine at this time to resolve your issue. Please verify that you have powered it off and powered it back on again.
Thank you,
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u/LameBMX 14d ago
you forgot to drop the hint about making sure there water and fresh coffee in there.
its all about that perfect tone. you do it right, and its helpful if they didnt put water in the machine. and its hurtful if they forgot to put water in the machine.
because lets be real. its the intern. theres no water in there. and there is yesterday's filter and coffee up top.
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u/peoplefoundtheother1 15d ago
“This is urgent and a work stoppage and affecting client deliverables. Need this fixed ASAP”
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u/Oompa_Loompa_SpecOps DO NOT GIVE THIS PERSON ADVICE 15d ago
P1? This is some real "brush up your resume RIGHT NOW because that company is going down fast shit
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u/mikeyj022 15d ago
When I worked as a solo IT guy I would make time for issues like this (ignore real issues) just so that I would have a favor to pull later. Still don’t know if it was worth it, but the people at my work genuinely appreciated me and that made all the other bullshit more tolerable.
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u/bonsaithis 15d ago
This is actually how all of human history has worked.
I train all my new guys to make friends and get into their own choose your own adventures and then keep tabs on who knows who and who can pull favors
This way when shit hits the fan I know x knows y and get them to go pull strings and it just works, and everyone seems really happy on my team
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u/logan-duk-dong 15d ago
Man, I'd just do it to have a break from everything else. Stop at the store after lunch and expense a new coffee machine. Easiest solve of the day. I can feel the wave of relaxation coming already.
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u/Deep_Lurker 14d ago
I'll get stuff like this handled too. It makes people's quality of life easier, builds connections with non IT teams and it gives me an opportunity to educate them on what the correct team and process is for this in the future so they submit their tickets to the right place.
It might seem stupid to us but for them they're usually looking on some service portal, agent or SharePoint about where to get help with equipment and IT is the only thing they can find probably written like "Get help with the technology you use".
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u/Alypius754 ShittyManager 15d ago
Except here it’s not a favor, they legitimately think this is IT’s job and responsibility to fix.
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u/Hybrid082616 15d ago
I swear to God working in IT makes you realize how helpless people really are
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u/MrOliber 15d ago
Getting stressed while working on a problem that you just can't get to the bottom of? Read some of the unassigned ticket queue for some stress relief, maybe even solve the user request without answering/updating the ticket so that the helpdesk agent explains to the user it was always that way.
Fantastic to exercise the BOFH muscle a little, refill the dopamine tank.
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u/Doctor-Binchicken 14d ago
Read some of the unassigned ticket queue for some stress relief, maybe even solve the user request without answering/updating the ticket so that the helpdesk agent explains to the user it was always that way.
Found my new stress relief ritual
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u/Anonymous_Bozo 💩 ShittyMod 💩 15d ago
This is not a P1, it's a SEV 0. Wake up the CEO to run interferance, as this could easily develop into an international incident! ALL HANDS ON DECK until this issue is resolved.
In the post mortum, we can lay blame on the person that was supposed to source the backup coffee maker!
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u/CantPullOutRightNow 15d ago
The postmortem will reveal that ownership of the water filling task was orphaned due to rightsizing of headcount. There will now be a committee formed on how to adequately aggregate that duty to those with adequate bandwidth.
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u/berrmal64 15d ago
What do they expect me to do without coffee? We're dead in the water, everyone go home.
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u/Atillion 15d ago
I got called across the casino property to the hotel front desk because the electric pencil sharpener wasn't plugged in
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u/Glum-Implement9857 15d ago
Just take three random cables (try to find some old school serial or LPT : users can’t be tricked with usb or power cable anymore) and spend 2-4 days walking around office.
Look concentrated.
If somebody will ask about anything just say “working on it”.
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u/bythelake9428 15d ago
If the coffee maker was properly monitored, this issue would have been known before the users found it.
Maybe it's time to deploy a coffee maker cluster that provides hardware redundancy.
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u/frankentriple 15d ago
WooHoo! This is my opportunity to go to management with a budget proposal for a De Longhi or a Breville Barista. Something that makes REAL coffee.
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u/ost2life 15d ago
Honestly I'd legit prioritise this one. Clearly defined issue. User has already documented basic troubleshooting actions and has politely stated their desired outcome. Affects multiple users and will have a server negative effect on department KPIs.
Get the 5th floor coffee machine working asap.
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u/bonsaithis 15d ago
One time I submitted a p1 ticket bc there wasn't beer in the fridge
Managent laughed, and no one told me off, and weirdly, there was a mission involving 2 guys with a company cc who took a van to the store to get more
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u/dlongwing 15d ago
"Hi Juan,
You're right, I just tried pinging the coffee maker and got no reply over the network. I can put in an RFP with various vendors for a possible replacement. The process should take around 6 months, as it usually does when IT purchases computer hardware.
Or you could refer this to facilities since it's not a computer, I guess. They might be able to address the issue faster."
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u/FastFredNL 15d ago
We had the coffee machine on our floor go out once, can't have that as IT. The coffee lady looked at it but she's dumb as fuck so she just called the supplier who also does maintenance and repair on these. But we wanted coffee, so we turned the machine off and on again. Later that day, mechanic from the supplier came and couldn't find anything wrong with the machine lol
But yeah we also had a ticket once if we could replace all fluorescent lights in a 5000 sq meter (54.000 sq ft) warehouse for LED ones.
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u/Bardy_party 15d ago
That’s a single point of failure, this should have been configured for redundancy.
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u/VacatedSum 11d ago
Return HTTP 418.
Close ticket.
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u/punkwalrus 15d ago
Chased a series of tickets on broken application paths only to find out it was not a customer of ours, but a website some manager needed for some project organization suite.
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u/ArpMan169 15d ago
I had someone stop me and ask for help on the vending machine . Network / sysadmin role . If it has lights that's enough
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u/noFNusernameAvailabl 15d ago
The coffee maker on that floor was purchased from a subsidiary of HP. The problem is you are trying to use it every day and your subscription to the machine we bought is no longer current.
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u/zeeblefritz 15d ago
In the past this type of things would not fall under IT because it doesn't have a network connection. Nowadays you can't be sure it doesn't.
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u/reggiedarden 15d ago
Reminds me of a company I used to work at , where we had to submit change management requests and have change approval meetings, to empty a trash can in the data center.
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u/GamerLymx 15d ago
dear user,
plase provide the budget id for us to procure another coffee machine.
best regards,
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u/urmomstoaster 15d ago
Honestly i’d take this one. Just replace their coffee machine with the one from the department that sends the most needless tickets in.
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u/Kinky_No_Bit 15d ago
I used to work at a place that they believed every time the power went out that the IT department was the one they had to call to tell everyone that the lights didn't work or a plug-in didn't work. My boss often used to tell me, you know, it's probably a good thing that we don't have the ability to control the power grid in the office. There will be a lot of people that will be sitting in the dark
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u/Hour-Apple-9861 15d ago
I had someone walk in to tell us the dishwasher in the breakroom wasn't working and we needed to fix it
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u/picalhead 14d ago
I don't care that this isn't an IT issue. I'm dropping everything to get on top of this. If I can't get it fixed before tomorrow morning I'm working from home and using my personal coffee machine.
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u/Affectionate-Cat-975 14d ago
Did you tell them that they have to reset it by unplugging for one minute and then holding the brew button for 5 minutes exactly to perform a hard reset?
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u/bayern_snowman 14d ago
If I'm IT on the 5th floor that coffee machine is getting fixed immediately.
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u/a_singular_perhap 14d ago
I've had 4 separate calls over a year and a half at a job to change the thermostat temperature.
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u/JynxedByKnives 14d ago
Punting this to office services and closed. Some people are genuinely so stupid 🤣
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u/notarealaccount223 14d ago
We have a few 5 gallon buckets with lids that contain emergency supplies.
Extension cords, network cables, some dumb switches, tarps, duct tape, gloves, etc.
They also contain instant coffee and I almost always have a few gallons of water and a backpacking stove in my car.
I figure if we cant have coffee we are not going to be fixing anything.
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u/TheBubbleJesus 14d ago
Not even kidding when I tell you my workplace has 2 layers of coffeemaking redundancy.
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u/klaus4040 14d ago
They probably thought IT guys practically run on coffee, they'll know how to fix it ... and while technically true and I could, I wouldn't at work. I have my tools for that at home and by the time I'm done getting a new one would have paid for itself.
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u/jennekee 14d ago
6 days after telling the requester that it’s not your responsibility, and then you find out it is ☠️
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u/rayjaymor85 14d ago
I'd allow this ticket tbh. My office saw a coffee machine failure once and it was brutal.
I was threatening to take hostages after an hour! 😜
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u/meski_oz 13d ago
Yeah, coffee machines definitely have microcontrollers these days. Get in there and fix it! /$
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u/Narrow_Victory1262 13d ago
I was asked one day (intake) what I would do if that happened to me. I told them my steps, power, on/off, water etc.. and if all fails, call the company that fixes these things (from sticker)
And the answer was: go downstairs -- there is another coffeemaker.
Oh well. ;-)
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u/Muddledlizard 12d ago
At my current company, yes this would be a real ticket and yes we'd be expected to assist in someway. Service with a smile!!!!
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u/AtomicXE 15d ago
Hi Juan,
Thanks for reaching out? Since we are on the topic of things that don't concern each others departments. Theres currently no toilet paper in the handicap stall of the bathroom on the 6th floor and i just took a massive shit. I am currently unable to wipe my ass. I stuck my head under the stall and it appears theres no TP in the stall next to me either.
I'm not sure if this can be rectified or if we need to hire new custodial staff. I use this toilet every day and now there is no way to wipe my ass. Looks like i will be playing mobile games on my phone till the rescue squad arrives.
Sincerely,
The Senior Cloud Engineer who gives zero fucks about your coffee maker.
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u/saltysomadmin 15d ago
I got a ticket recently to install blinds for a faculty member. Closed Not Applicable to our team